To all of you who have reached out in love and support for me during this challenging time, I thank you.
What a journey this life is.
The events of the past few days or so have been…
Words fail me.
I have missed a friend, and for a little season that friend has returned. Of a truth, I wish the reunion were under different circumstances. I wish it could be mostly fun times, laughing, and adventure, and less of… what it’s needed to be.
However, I appreciate that in the midst of great challenge and great pain, we have still enjoyed moments of peace, moments of laughter, and simply… good friendship.
One might say it’s a bit of a miracle.
Today has been a pretty good roller coaster, a good bit like yesterday. The lows today, however, were much lower than yesterday. There’s no way to describe the pains I felt during the morning and early afternoon. The only word that comes to mind is agony, but words can be so… limiting.
But sometime, perhaps around mid afternoon or early evening, a miraculous calm began to creep in, and that’s where I continue to find myself, and I’m grateful.
I still haven’t fully worked through everything. There is much left for me to learn and ponder. But progress has definitely been made, and it’s not going to be much longer before this little season of reconnection will be over. Such will be a sad time, and I will miss my friend in the future; but beautiful things are happening in the present, and they can be long remembered.
#1. I’m grateful for the gift of memories.
#2. I am grateful for the kinds of people who choose to see good in others.
#3. I am grateful for the peace and calm I feel right now in the midst of what has been a most powerful storm.
#4. I’m grateful that though the journey before me does not appear to be much different than when I wrote about it yesterday, my heart is not filled with anguish, at least, not for the moment. I know things can change, but I will enjoy this moment.
#5. I am grateful that my body did not give out on me today. It got mighty close, I think. There was a point this afternoon where my body just completely took over and demanded something. I was able to have a double protein shake, and that helped significantly.
#6. I am grateful that I still have protein mix left. I am going to order more tonight.
Well, folks, I again thank you for walking this journey with me. Thank you for your comments here, your text messages, your phone calls, your thoughts, good vibes, prayers…everything.
Loves and hugs to you all. 😊
Thanks, for lifting my world. 😊
~ stephen
Lift the World 
Happy to read your post tonight, Stephen.
Jared
Stephen,
I am so so sorry for the low lows, the agony of soul, the exquisite pain….
I am so so so so full of gratitude that miraculous calm has entered your heart – an eye of the storm to cradle you and give you a surcease… I hope it may sustain you as you continue this path of learning and growing… If it doesn’t, may you hold the reality of this miracle in your heart and know that there will be many more miracles in your future.
I love you, brother…
There’s an old Buddhist saying, “There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.” The road is difficult. Many catch a glimpse of the path and chicken out, running back to the comfort of their old world view. I’m proud of you, Stephen, for facing what is tough, and necessary, and I know you are equal to it. Don’t forget to travel beside yourself with compassion. Give yourself a hug now and then and say, “Good job – you’ve got this!”