2020-07-07 — Concerned

Hey, everybody,

I’m… having trouble writing tonight 🙁. I struggled to choose a title. I’ve struggled as I’m trying to write this. I’m okay right now, but my good friend is not, and I’m concerned. We seem to swap places, back and forth, as we go through this together: One of us is having a rough time of it; the other is okay, trying to comfort and encourage.

Today, I was the lucky one.

That’s it. Just luck of the draw maybe.

It might be my turn again tomorrow… if tomorrow comes. We haven’t yet said our goodbyes, though that could happen very soon. I don’t know.

All I know is that my friend is hurting, and I’d like to be able to be there, but I can’t, and there’s not really anything I can do to help, as much as I want to. It’s that same thing I wrote about the other night, but for her this time… there’s only one way… through.

I hate feeling trapped like that. It’s excruciating. There’s no break. There’s no relief. You just… try to keep breathing, keep moving. But even that is, again, excruciating. And you hope that… somehow… that miraculous calm comes like it did for me the other night–Even if it’s just a temporary respite from the storm, the miracle comes… eventually.

So… to all of you out there reading this, I know I don’t have to ask, because you’re all such sweet, wonderful people, but please send your positive vibes, happy thoughts, prayers, angel armies, whatever it takes… anything you can think of, create, or invent to be there for my friend right now.

Thank you.

(sigh)

I don’t really want to express gratitude today, but I will.

#1. I am grateful I had a full day for my tech today, even after not answering the phone for days and days. We actually had enough that I had to say no to people, and I ended up going out on jobs myself to take care of customers I’d promised we’d help, but that David couldn’t get too, being too busy already.

#2. I’m grateful that I was able to figure out both of the issues with the first car that I went to. I figured I might well not. On those cars, I just eat my time and move on to the next. They were actually visiting Arkansas from Utah, and they’d already paid $500 to repair one of the issues, and the shop got the diagnosis wrong, so the issue persisted. I was able to figure that one out for them, and we’ll probably do the repair tomorrow or the next day. In addition, I was able to get their blower motor wiring fixed after it shorted and melted. I had to jimmy rig it because the needed part wasn’t available, and Toyota decided to use oversized male-end spade connectors instead of the standard size.

#3. I’m grateful that I didn’t lose my cool really today. There were some times where in the past, I’d have gotten really mad. I didn’t. I did get a little frustrated here and there, but I was really happy with how much I was able to keep it to a minimum. That was neat. Part of my ability to stay calmer, honestly, is the influence of being in communication with my friend right now. I want to be better when I think of that friend.

#4. I’m grateful to have had my wonderful friend give and give and give and give to help me today. I just wish there were a way I could give back right now that would help through the pain. That friend has been soooo good to me. I want to do something.

#5. I’m grateful to have been able to spend another day working through these things together. I just wish it had ended peacefully for my friend. It’s been eye opening, but also very hard.

That’s a lot of caveats to my gratitude, so it’s not the purest list, but it’s better than no gratitude at all.

All right, my friends, loved ones, even you strangers I haven’t met and don’t know but who still read my posts, please… please… please send good vibes, positive thoughts, encouragement, prayers, anything you can possible send that might help my friend in this very moment.

I thank you.

Loves and hugs to you.

Let’s Lift my friend’s world.

~ stephen