2021-01-15 — Trying to Pull Out

Hi, folks. 😊

It was a rough day yesterday, and it was a rough night. I went to bed about 9, and then I woke up at 11 with my head hurting quite a bit. I tried to take a blood sugar reading. Seemed high, but my test strips are expired, my control solution is expired… and my readings seemed a little off… but I tested higher than would be healthy every time.

I woke up many times during the night with the headache. It was a miserable morning as well. I finally started to pull out of it maybe in the early afternoon, but I’m sliding right back into it pretty quickly as a write this. My mama is trying to help me arrest the progress. She just made me a sandwich, and I’ll eat that and hope that will help.

This crash has been a dousy, made even harder by the fact that I have a worker who depends on me, and I can’t just die to the world for a few days.

So… I worked. I didn’t go out and fix cars. I just stayed awake, answered phones, did quotes and parts ordering and all that, and worked on getting my 2020 financials in order.

I sent a big, fat, wad worth of electronic money transfer to the government because today is the deadline for Q4 estimated taxes. I probably didn’t send enough, but it’s something, at least.

Still making progress. I’m trying to keep better records, so I don’t have to do this every year. My records are good, but they can be better.

I’m pretty tired.

#1. I’m grateful I’m still clean and sober. Thirty-three days. It was a little harder today. My body isn’t very happy with me, and for good reason. And when I’m messed up like this, it’s generally easy to slide in all my areas–get down, focus on things that drag me down. Wallow. But… I’m just not letting myself go there. I’m not doing the things that feed the heartache and pain. I’m getting better at focusing on the good, the positive, the bright future before me.

#2. I’m grateful that I got a respite from feeling miserable today. I’m hoping I can pull out and stay out, that this slide backward will be arrested shortly, and I’ll get back to good.

#3. I’m grateful for the snow. It’s pretty. Hopefully it’ll melt enough to dry out the ground at least, so the jobs that need to be done on the ground are actually doable.

#4. I’m grateful that my finger does appear to be healing more and more. It’s extremely sensitive and hurts a good bit if you brush it against things or tap against it–can’t knock a door for sure. 😬 But it’s healing more and more and is swollen less and less, I think? I hope at least. 😊

#5. I’m grateful for the progress made on the 72-hour preparedness kits today.

Thought of the Day: “Don’t give up when dark times come. The more storms you face in life, the stronger you’ll be. Hold on. Your greater is coming.” – Germany Kent

On to the greater. 😊

Lift the World.

~ stephen