2021-01-17 — Ever Forward

Happy Sunday. 😊

Hope y’all have had a beautiful day. 😊

I slept in today, studied a bit, got caught a little sideways with a conference talk I listened to about families (teared up a little bit and felt lonely for a little while, but not too long), had three meetings today (elder’s quorum, sacrament, and a branch council meeting I was invited to attend), chatted with Cory for a couple hours, pulled weeds off the trail while talking to him and during my last meeting (I really like having virtual meetings. I can sit in the woods and enjoy the woods and have just as useful of a meeting), I had dinner at Liz’s and chatted with Liz for probably half an hour or more, then I headed home and vegged for a little while.

That’s the basic summary of the day.

Deeper in, my thoughts today were turned fairly significantly toward the direction that I’m going with my life, the continual internal struggle… not a bad struggle… just a struggle, trying to figure out what I’m doing workwise. I said July 4th was my date to be out of the auto mechanic game as my main game and into my Lift the World game (I recognize I’m helping people as a mechanic, just the Lift the World version my heart sings looks quite different than fixing cars).

I could actually be out sooner than July 4th. Honestly, I could be out just about any time. Once I finish getting the business in proper standing with the various govt. entities, I’m gonna go whole hog into hiring someone to run the business with a structure that incentivizes happy customers and quality work (bonuses based more on quality of work and happy customers than on money brought in? Something like that. I’ll figure it out later. Gotta finish getting the business stuff all nailed down and done.

But… it’s time to let me heart sing a little bit. I’ve held back for so many years.

So many years.

I want to let my heart and soul loose. 🙂

So… I’m working on that. My priorities are heading that direction. I’m gonna interview someone tomorrow who’s interested in being a mechanic. We’ll see how it feels with him. I’d like to hire a family member to run the business–someone who will care for it and care for my customers.

We’ve got this. 😊

Let’s change the world, folks. Let’s change the world.

😊😊😊

#1. I’m grateful to have had another day that was pretty much Sunday blues free. Yes, I had some harder moments, but I’m good. It wasn’t a discouraging or depressing day at all. It was a good day.

#2. I’m grateful to have been able to have a meaningful conversation with Liz.

#3. I’m grateful to have been able to make some progress weeding the trails today. I just sort of went about on my hands and knees while talking to Cory and then during the meeting branch meeting. And… I made great progress. Love me these woods. 😊

#4. I’m grateful that bugs are at a minimum in the winter, almost nonexistent. 😊

#5. I’m grateful that I have a pretty much fully-functional finger. Expensive lesson to learn. Painful lesson to learn. May well have issues the rest of my life with that finger, but I can use it. I’m very grateful for that.

#6. I’m grateful that my heart seems to be returning more and more to who I really am, the soft soul who loves and cares about everyone. I mean, I was always that, but I allowed myself to grow a harder, angry, volatile, bitter shell. But… it’s disappearing.

#7. I’m grateful that I’m still sober. 35 days, I think? Love. Not selfishness. Love. Whatever it takes. Love first. Love last. Love always. I do need to be careful. I can feel the warnings here and there to be more diligent in my spiritual things, more careful, and more focused on steering clear of the potential dangers.

#8. I’m grateful that I paid for a membership to YouTube, so I don’t have the ads anymore. That has significantly reduced the visual trigger sources while still allowing me to access the materials that are helpful and uplifting.

I’m gonna get up at 5:45 tomorrow, folks. That’s not quite back to 4:55, but it’s a step in the right direction. I’ve been more disciplined lately. I’ve been making lots of personal progress at letting things roll of my back and choosing happiness and peace instead of fear and stress, and I’m gonna get this morning routine back. I’ve missed it. A lot.

A lot.

Thought of the Day: “Wake up early and tackle the day before it tackles you. Be on offense, not defense.”

– Evan Carmichael

I miss you.

Loves and hugs. 😊

Lift the World.

~ stephen