2021-01-19 — Nightmare

Today has been a nightmare. Knee still screwed up (didn’t mention that yesterday… swelled up again for no reason). David didn’t get any cars done today even after working all day. I didn’t either. One mess after another after another after another after another. I blew my top and had a complete meltdown late afternoon. Might have had a premeditated curse. Not sure. It was borderline. Split second. Eventually calmed down and got going again. Then things fell apart yet again about 10 o’clock tonight. I’ve spent all day on this stupid Traverse. It’s been… a nightmare… plain and simple.

I don’t want anything to do with gratitude right now. I don’t want to say “Lift the World.” I’m angry. Very angry.

…

(sigh)

Nor do I want my anger to win…

Erg.

This is gonna be really hard…

#1. I’m grateful the Traverse held vacuum.

#2. I’m grateful the O’reilly’s had the right pag oil.

#3. I’m grateful that I was able to take all the crap that happened in stride at least up until the 80th issue with the Traverse AC job, when it just got so… ludicrously crappy.

#4. I’m grateful my new blood sugar kit came today, and I can get some accurate readings and see what’s really going on with me.

#5. I’m grateful that the online mechanic who was helping me was really responsive tonight. That was super helpful in the midst of the nightmare.

Folks, I’m not in a good place. Better than I was 10 minutes ago, but I’m not in a good place. Hopefully, I’ll survive the night addiction wise. I don’t even remember how many days it is. 35? 36? One of the two, I think.

Thought of the Day: “For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.” ~ Unknown

Hope y’all are having a better day than I. Love to you all.

Lift the World.

~ stephen