I imagine some of you, if not all, will be proud of me.
I could have had an extremely busy day today, but I… refused. I hit a wall, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and I was just like… nope.
So instead of rushing out in the frigid but Seattle-style misting rain and pounding away at job after job, I stayed home until after 11, I think, moving slowly, not letting myself bow to pressure or the stress of the load and the inbound calls. I gave myself another mental health chainsaw break, and spent some time chopping up felled and fallen trees to line the trails through the woods. I went until the chainsaw battery ran out, and then I called it good.
Then I slowly meandered over to the nightmare job from Saturday, and it took me pretty much all day, the rain making things much harder, but I finished it. And that’s the only job I did today. I postponed the second one until tomorrow, and I just… chose to take it easy.
When things went sideways with the job again today, I barely flinched. It didn’t go nearly as sideways as it did Saturday, but I think the closest I got to being frustrated was a split-second physical reaction that I quelled as split-secondly, just about, as it came.
I just took my time. I let go of stress. I just did what I needed to do to finish the job, and when I was finally done, I just called it a day. It was after 5. I was done. Not gonna push myself more.
I made another decision today as well. I told my prospective employee that… I’m not gonna hire him, as I’m teetering on just hanging up my wrenches and letting go of the business.
That was hard.
I’ve said it I don’t know how many times… I’m not a mechanic. I do mechanics, but my heart is in humanitarian service, lifting people who are struggling, emotionally, spiritually, economically… bringing people together. Inspiring, encouraging, teaching… Those are the things I love. That’s where my heart and passion and natural… whatever is.
So… I’m teetering. Almost ready to just hang it up. I’m contemplating not even waiting until taxes are all figured out. I want to be smart about it.
I’m stepping lightly, trying to play this out effectively, intelligently. I don’t want to throw away a business that’s done me extremely well. But it’s not really something one can sell… I have no real assets. And… I’d only feel comfortable turning the business over to someone who will treat my customers right, like I would.
Anyway… there you go. Today has been… different.
#1. I’m grateful to be in this… whatever space I’m in today. Contemplative. Slow. Methodical. Deliberate. Conscious. More grounded. More determined to move forward, become, choose faith, trust, hope, etc.
#2. I’m grateful to have made some progress on the trails.
#3. I’m grateful to be feeling much better today physically. No headache, thankfully. Mostly caught up.
#4. I’m grateful to have been decently warm today, other than my feet. They were pretty freezing, but I stayed pretty warm. Found my other winter mechanic glove.
#5. I’m grateful to have good food to eat. I’m on the edge, and I need to be careful. It’s been harder to eat today, but I’m grateful for good, healthy food, and plenty of it.
Thought of the Day: “Meaningful, lasting change only happens when the pain of the status quo finally outstrips the fear or the anticipated pain of the change we seek.”
― David Taylor-Klaus
Good night, my lovelies. 😊
Lift the World.
~ stephen
Lift the World 