2021-02-14 — Steady As She Goes

Hiya, folks. 🙂

I’m running a bit late tonight. It’s 8:54, but I’ve eaten dinner, I’ve written in my journal, and I’m here, and it’s still not 9 o’clock just yet. 🙃

So… three days in a row. 🙂 I’ve been happy and upbeat just about all day today, feeling the Spirit and choosing love. I’ve been working on having love be the motivation for every thing I do, every choice I make. Hopefully, soon I’ll be in the habit of asking “Why is love my reason for doing/choosing this?”

I’ve been rewriting my “The Daily” post with both a new schedule and my love-motivated reasons for doing all the things I’m doing. I haven’t finished it yet, got distracted by some very important things that took priority, but I’ll be back to it and will hopefully get it finished and posted tomorrow. It’s such a good exercise for me. I’ve done it before, but things… as I mentioned… feel deeper now for me.

Anyway, got the sticks and logs off the trail today before the snow moved in. Didn’t want anyone to trip on them when they got covered by snow. Worked on that post. Did online church. Administered the Sacrament for myself and mom. First time I’ve done that in years, I think. That was neat.

It’s been another really good day. I’ve had some challenging moments, pornography temptations that reminded me that spiritual highs don’t mean I’m immune, and I’m still facing that mountain that started this three-day… I’m not sure what to call it… spiritual growth event of some sort. 🙃 I had to face it a little more directly again today, but I’m doing well. Steady as she goes.

#1. I’m grateful to be warm. I went a little crazy in the hopes of brightening a friend’s day today, and I ran out in the 5 degree (-22 wind chill) weather (if the wind chill was right… it was all over the place) in bare feet, shorts and a shirt, and did a snow angel. It was probably a total of 30 seconds outside, but my toes were already crazy cold (crazy cold)… like numb in seconds. Like icy in seconds? It was… nutty. I feel for those who are cold tonight. Some in places who will likely freeze to death while I sit in my skivvies writing this with two furnaces heating the house and a space heater heating the room I sleep in. It’s hard to know… there’s so much suffering in the world. It’s hard to know which battles to take on. I can’t take them all on. But my heart goes out to them.

#2. I’m grateful to have had another happy beautiful spirit-filled day today.

#3. I’m grateful for the insights about love and how to help myself move closer to the point where all that I choose and do is out of love.

#4. I’m grateful for my mom, for her patience with me. I’ve often been a dark cloud, and I’m finally beginning to be me again.

#5. I’m grateful for all this snow and cold. It’s been perfectly timed. It’s like the universe got together and planned it for me. 🙃 I had that person not pay me, and I just broke that night. And that breaking changed me somehow… I’m not sure how… and I started to shift inside. And then this cold came, and I shifted more. And more. And more. And then these powerful last three days, and… so much is changed.

Thought of the Day: “My Life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds.” Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I love you.

Lift the World.

~ stephen