So… I had an interesting experience tonight. I felt like God said “thank you” to me. I was trying to help a friend I was texting, and I was actually brushing my teeth, and just felt this quiet, simple, sincere “thank you.”
It sort of caught me off guard a little bit? Not in a bad way at all. Just… I was like… wow. That’s cool. I mean, God is the best. He loves every one and every thing perfectly, no matter what. He’s the kindest, gentlest, most wonderful person ever, so it’s not a surprise. And yet, I was surprised?
🙃
Anyway, that was cool. It’s been an up and down day. Mostly up, with a chunk of down on the side, and it ended up, for which I’m grateful.
I’ve had the two challenges reverberating through my being constantly today–follow the Lord in everything, and trust completely. Hush my fears. Trust.
It’s been an amazing day. A battle. Victories. Defeats. More victories. I ended the day victorious over all (not that the day is really over). Another battle looms on the horizon.
This fire that’s been lit under my little hiney has really got me zeroed in and moving forward with an urgency and determination that I haven’t seen in myself?
I’ve been quite self aware for a very long time, but now my alertness to myself, to my thinking, to what I’m feeling, to what is congruent with who I am, what I believe, and who I want to be… it’s… focused in. That alertness has increased several orders of magnitude.
I’ve caught myself trying to be afraid so many times. It’s been hard to let it just float away on the breeze, but I’ve been successful at times. At other times, I’ve been… less successful, but it’s been really cool to see the successes. The hardest part is always the beginning in these types of things. Each time I face it and choose to let the fear be swallowed up trusting God, the easier it is the next time. Each time I let fear take over, the easier it will be to let it take over the next time.
I keep having the line from the Ozzy Osbourne song go through my mind, but instead of “tears,” my brain keeps putting “fears” as the lyric–“No more [fears].”
I don’t know any other line in the song, and I’m changing 33% of the line I do know, but whatever. 🙃
So… there you go! Progress today. Here’s to progress tomorrow. Here’s to no more fear. Here’s to letting go of fearing the future and just giving my all to helping people everywhere and to becoming the best person I can become… and letting that be enough. 🙂
As far as the rest of the day went, the much less important things… it was another one-car day. 🙃 Battery job. One billable hour. Not quite my 4 or 5, but it’s nice to be taking it easy. I’m getting probably 15-25 calls a day right now–busiest time of the year, but I’m just… sending people elsewhere. I haven’t checked my business reviews. Hopefully, they haven’t suffered too much.
I spent some time digging into the mess of the dozer. It’s an even bigger mess than I though, I think. Scraping off all the heavy-duty RTV that’s plastered all over the absolutely massive weld repair attempt. It’s… a mess, honestly. But… I’m hopeful that it’s repairable. My brother in law seems to think it might be, though he hasn’t seen it yet. I was trying to clean it off so he could see the whole shebang. It’s… a project. 🙃
#1. I’m grateful for continual progress–step by step, day by day.
#2. I’m grateful to be looking at my progress and not at my failings. That’s crucial for me.
#3. I’m grateful for the fire that God lit under my hiney the other day regarding trusting him and letting go of fear.
#4. I’m grateful for patient, forgiving friends who see beyond my failings of the moment to who I am and let go of my failings.
#5. I’m grateful for longer days (more sunshine).
#6. I’m grateful to be in bed earlier tonight. I’m way off my routine from the tax holiday I took. But it’s 10:34, and I’m about to try to sleep. Cross your fingers.
Please send positive universe vibes/thoughts/prayers to my friends Cory and Brittani. We’re all three in soul-stretching times.
Thought of the Day: “I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. ~ William Penn
Loves and hugs to all my wonderfuls out there. May your evenings be full of peace and happiness. 😊
Lift the World.
~ stephen
Daily Accountability Summary:
Morning Routine Weighted Success: 45%
Evening Routine Weighted Success: 65%
Pornography/Sex Addiction Battle: 45 days
To-Do Top 3 Prioritization: 0%
Free of Texting While Driving: 15
Lift the World 