Hiya, folks,
I’m not sure how it happens. I work fewer hours, and yet I’m buried deeper. That’s what it feels like (just in terms of life and all of the things I have to do and get done). It’s just uncanny. I know I mentioned something similar not too long ago, but it’s just… like clockwork. Make a change for the better, and it seems the whole universe conspires and piles on everywhere else.
It’s like… heck, I should go back to working 90 hours a week. Somehow last Spring I was working 90 hours a week, exercising every day, doing my 5x5s, making huge strides in several areas of my life, getting everything done (except taxes 🙃), and… yeah.
Now… it’s like I work so much less, but I’m buried deeper, getting almost nothing done..
I know refraining from texting and driving has been an absolute killer. It’s the right thing to do, but it’s just destroyed my being organized, getting to customers in a timely manner. I feel like I waste sooooo much time now.
I guess part of it is it’s different work. I don’t have David anymore. So… I guess that’s something I need to think about as far as the feeling of things piling on. The texting and driving thing, too. It was such productive time. I’m in near complete disarray with work and scheduling and logging… it’s… pretty rough.
I’ve got to find a way to get all this stuff done, get better organized… I don’t know. I’m trying. The harder I try, the more it seems to fall apart.
Sorry, it’s been a decent day, but I’m struggling at the moment.
On top of all of the above, and even more important than my petty problems, one of my hill sisters is in a really bad way health wise. Massive pain following brain surgery. Rough rough rough. They’re not able to manage the pain for her. It’s awful. And we have no idea what’s next for her. It’s just… a waiting game until tests are completed.
Awful.
Another friend is having significant health issues and lots of pain and miserable symptoms as well, and it’s all still undiagnosed. She’s going in Wednesday to see someone. Hopefully, some progress will be made.
(sigh)
Life… Never a dull moment. Can’t even picture how I said I was bored when I was a kid. It’s nutty to think that one could ever be bored in the world we have here. Even with nothing to do, the world of the mind is… limitless, it seems to me at least.
#1. I’m grateful to be able to be there for people who are struggling with such challenging things.
#2. I’m grateful for the opportunity to work and support myself.
#3. I’m grateful for the health I enjoy. I have my issues, but I… have so much more than what some other people have. I would say I’m “blessed,” but we’re all blessed. Everything is a blessing. And having better health than another doesn’t mean I’m blessed and they’re not. It just is what it is.
#4. I’m grateful for… I’m having a really hard time thinking of things I’m grateful for right now… ummm… I’m grateful to be learning more and more each day about prayer–well, I’m grateful to be getting more comfortable with what I’ve learned. It’s so much more real, personal, and meaningful, but it’s also a lot more work. It takes a lot more effort.
#5. I’m grateful to be able to identify that the vast majority of the pains and struggles I have in life are self imposed. The pains of selfishness. The pains of choosing to fear over choosing to trust.
#6. I’m grateful for my screen protector on my phone. I accidentally crushed my phone a little with my floor jack, and… at least I think… it only smashed the protector screen that sits on top of the real screen. So it looks terrible, but I think I can just peel it off and replace it. I hope, anyway.
Thought of the Day: “Whether the glass is half empty or half full, you have the power to fill it up.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo
Well, my lovelies, another day has slipped into permanent, unchangeable history. One more day of life, gone to never return. One less day of life to live in the one life I have to live. I want to make the most of it. I’ll make tomorrow better. Tomorrow, the glass will be full all day because I have the power to fill it.
Loves and hugs.
Lift the World.
~ stephen
Daily Accountability Summary:
Morning Routine Weighted Success: 31%
Evening Routine Weighted Success: 67%
Pornography/Sex Addiction Battle: 3
To-Do Top 3 Prioritization: 0%
Free of Texting While Driving: 1?
Lift the World 