It’s almost nine. I’m not tired. I want to run around like a crazy person and get stuff done because I have energy and the motivation to do it, buuuuuuuuut… I want to get back on my schedule of getting up at 4:25.
So… I need to discipline myself right now and not go put an o2 sensor in the Versa, or figure out which headlight bulbs my new van needs, or work on the trails, or do a million other things that I’d love to do right now.
Nope. Need to finish this, brush my teeth, chat with the Big Guy, crawl into bed, and fall asleep listening to the rain on the roof. 🙂
Decent day. I was a little discouraged this morning with the work that got done (or didn’t get done) by the helper I hired. I paid for four hours of work and only like an hour’s worth of results came through, from my perspective. So… that wasn’t so nice. I’m trying to figure out what happened. Perhaps my instructions were confusing somehow? I thought it was all super straightforward. Need to figure it out, because I need it to be worth what I’m paying, and it wasn’t today. We’ll see how it goes next time. It was good work, I think, just need to have greater production. He’s a great kid, though, so I’m gonna guess it’ll work out fine?
Let’s see… I hoped to get the van registered today, but the line was long at the DMV, and I needed to get some cars done today, which I did. It was a rather easy day, which was nice, and it stayed dry until the very end, so that was nice.
The first car turned out to be an interesting experience. Super nice girl. She’d asked for a front brake job, but when I pulled the wheel off, she still had plenty of pad left, so I let her know, and she opted not to have me do the job since it wasn’t really needed yet. Instead, she asked me how to change the air filter, asked me about oil change intervals, and then she asked me out for dinner. 🙃
That was interesting. She was actually attractive, happy, and I could tell she was a super nice girl, and kudos to her for the boldness in asking the guy out. I was flattered and caught a little off guard. However, though I’m longing for a companion, I feel like there’s a very specific direction I’m traveling on that particular journey, and it doesn’t go through this young lady, so I told her I was flattered, but I politely declined her offer.
That experience did hit a little sideways, though. It triggered lots and lots and lots of thoughts… and emotions… and desires… and fears… Whenever opportunities pop up like that, it can make it harder to trust the direction I feel like God has pointed me in because… well… I’m lonely, and I want what I want now (a companion to journey side by side through life with). I don’t want to wait for it. And I’m afraid, at times, that I’ll never get it (when I struggle to trust in the Big Dude). So when opportunities fall in my lap like happened today, it can be hard not to stew on them… question my path… want to run off in the direction of the opportunity that just presented itself, fear for my future, etc. Needless to say, the experience set my crazy brain a whirring.
But I’m choosing to wait. I’m choosing to trust that I’m following the best road, as rough as it is at times. And it was probably a blessing that my polite decline was an insanely lightning-fast reaction. It was literally like the words were out of my mouth before I’d even had time to think them.
That in and of itself is interesting.
Anyway, so that was car number one. 🙃
Car number two was putting a starter in a truck that I tried to repair a few weeks ago, but he’d ordered the wrong starter, so I couldn’t get it in.
Car number three was a no start that’d been sitting for months, and they thought it was a bad starter, but it turned out to just be a bad ground cable–so corroded that the starting system didn’t have the proper ground to start the vehicle. Once I’d cleaned the corrosion off, I got it to start, and it did great.
Car number four was diagnosing an oil leak, and it also happened to have completely stripped out bell housing bolts and a missing bolt in one of the motor mounts. 😶
Yikes.
It was home after that and to bed.
Oh! The day started so fast that I didn’t get first things done first this morning, but I was proud of myself that I was able to pause and chat with Pops and do some pondering, when normally, I would have just gone on and been tossed around by all that I felt I needed to get done.
#1. I’m grateful to have actually fixed some cars today.
#2. I’m grateful to be making better decisions. That really low day, followed by y’all’s support helped jump start me hard enough to do a little better, and that’s been super good.
#3. I’m grateful to feel like my perspective is a bit better these last 2 or 3 days. There’s still plenty beating on me, but I’ve been so much better. I’m grateful.
#4. I’m grateful the rain was held at bay until the end of the day.
#5. I’m grateful I’ve been better at saying no, better at slowing down, at least the last handful of days.
Loves and hugs to all!
Lift the World
~ stephen
Lift the World 