2021-05-13 — Oh, No You Don’t

T-Shirts.

One of the things I’ve wanted to do for a long time is come up with a series of uplifting t-shirts. Inspiring t-shirts. T-shirts at encourage, inspire, uplift, comfort, motivate, etc,. being careful not to be preachy or condescending.

Lift the World stuff, you know? Michael Jackson “Heal the world. Make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race.” (and I would add for all beings of all kinds)

Any suggestions? Please feel free to comment with suggestions for t-shirts. 🙂

So many things I’d like to do.

So many things.

Money. “Security.” Ugh. I wish I were free of that. It’s not a bad thing to want to be financially set so that I can spend the rest of my life doing what I really want to do…. but… I have one life. It’s nearly half over (if I manage to live the average male lifespan in the USA). Why not just do what I want to do now? If I fail, I fail. So what? I’ll have done my best to lift the world in my failure. And that’s success in and of itself because I gave a worthy effort.

It’s coming up on July 4th. That was my tentative close-up-shop date.

That’s not very far away.

Why am I so afraid to just let go and spend my life trying to lift the world in the ways that make my heart sing? In the ways that would actually make a broader difference than fixing cars? There’s nothing wrong with fixing cars. It’s a good service?

Why am I stuck on this security thing? This preparedness thing. Do I just not trust myself that I can be just as successful taking care of my family doing more world-changing things?

The t-shirts is one idea. Not a huge money maker. But maybe a difference maker and a little money maker. String enough of those together, and, boom, you have stuff going that’s making the world a better place and taking care of your family.

Anyway, this is such a struggle for me. Such a struggle.

July 4th. Will I be ready? Will I be willing? Will I have the courage?

It’s been a bit harder today. I started off pretty well, but somehow I forgot to take my patience with me. I overscheduled myself, and when a car took a turn for the worse, instead of being patient I got really mad. It was my fault. I’d promised a customer I’d be there at x time, and I crammed two cars in ahead of him, and then one took a lot longer than I’d hoped, and it was my fault. I’d added the extra burden, the extra stress, and obviously I still haven’t learned to let go of stress. It’s a choice, and I haven’t chosen to let go of it yet.

All that said, it’s been a good day. I’m battling in my own soul right now., and I’m battling hard. The Bottom Dweller is hitting me pretty hard from a bunch of different angles.

I’ll win, though.

First car today was a quickie easy diagnosis. Spark plug blown out of the head–needs the head tapped back out and a new insert put in. Not something I do as a mobile mechanic, and I warned him ahead of time that if that’s what it turned out to be, it’d be just a diagnosis because I don’t do that particular repair.

Second car was a seized AC compressor, and I tried to bypass it for him using info I found online from another mechanic, but the belt they used didn’t fit at all, so I had to go back and get a few more to find one that would fit. That was the car I got mad at. I unwisely chose to squeeze two cars in before my first car (because it was far away, and they were geographically smarter to go to first), but that second one took a lot longer than hoped and gave me troubles, and I chose to get mad. Third car gave me troubles as well.

Volkswagons. Ugh. Annoying little buggers. Special tools seems to be a hallmark of German cars. It used to be that all I needed was torx sets. Well… today I needed the triple square socket set.

Yeah… me either.

In the end, I gave up, and did part of the job and didn’t bother with the rest of it. Which probably turned out for the best anyway, and the customer was happy because they saved probably $500?

After that, I fixed my own truck, putting brake pads on the rear. They were really close to grinding, and it didn’t sound so good to have the mechanic’s truck screeching as it pulls up.

I came home, took a shower, ate, and I’m here now. I’m battling the onslaught. I’ll win.

#1. I’m grateful to be my own boss.

#2. I’m grateful to have made more progress on the assessment stuff.

#3. I’m grateful for good friends and their support.

#4. I’m grateful to make at least some difference in the lives of people today. That second customer was ready to sell me his 2006 CRV for $72 because it was going to be a super-expensive repair and wasn’t worth it to him, but I told him there was a way to bypass the issue, and though it took a lot longer than hoped, it got him his car back as functional as it was before (because his AC didn’t work anyway), and it was under $200. He gave me a nice tip, too. I’m grateful to make a difference in people’s lives. It’s not the one I’d like to make as my first preference, but it’s something, and that gentleman was really happy.

#5. I’m grateful to have a little bed lamp and a fan that blows on me. Very nice. Very nice indeed.

We’ve got this, folks. We’re gonna conquer. Onward.

Lift the World.

~ stephen