I got myself back into some ruts while I spiraled last week, and it’s hard to dig back out. I’m wanting to come home from work and waste my time watching something on a screen.
I hate being in that place.
Fortunately, I know that if I fight through these tough days, it won’t be too many more before I’m quite grateful to be in that place where I don’t want to waste my time staring at a screen being entertained (wasted time being my personal view and feel of it for myself). So… it’s a fight tonight, but I’ll beat it. I’ll choose the things that fill my soul instead, and in short order, I’ll forget all about that other stuff because it’ll pale in comparison to the other options that mean so much more to me.
Still, it’s amazing the power that movies and tv and whatnot have over me if I let them.
Wow.
Anyway, the day started off a bit rough today, like everything was going wrong. I tried to find the AC refrigerant leak in my mom’s car this morning, and I sprayed the dye all over… which could have made it a lot harder to figure out where the leak was because, well, the dye was sprayed everywhere already. 🙃 Fortunately, the leak was big enough that it just sprayed out, so I didn’t even really need the dye. Which is weird because the leak wasn’t anywhere near that big before. So… either there’s another leak, or this one somehow got a lot bigger. Hopefully, the latter. Anyway, so my mom needs a new AC condenser in her Juke, so that’s ordered, and we’ll hopefully get that done later this week.
After that, I found a leak in my mini ex, which is discouraging, but oh well. It’s not a bad one, but it probably will be an expensive one at some point? I don’t know. It’s in the boom seal next to the front bucket.
I struggled to put the new vin plate on my trailer, but it’s on now, and that’s good. It’s a fully legal trailer now.
After that, I headed out to work, doing… five cars? First one was a long-start diagnosis of a 2005 Nissan XTerra. Turned out to be a bad crankshaft position sensor. Second car was… a no start. Turned out to be a bad alternator, and it’s a really big job replacing an alternator on that puppy. I’ll be doing that tomorrow or Thursday (2005 Ford Escape V6… have to pull the CV axle to get the alternator out). Third car was… a battery replacement in a 2017 Chevrolet Silverado. Fourth was a no start diagnosis on a 2008 Ford Escape Hybrid. Battery was low… started up with a charge. No draw. Battery tested fine. Don’t know what the issue was. Couldn’t prove anything. Fifth car, dying issues, but again, wouldn’t die for me, so I checked the brakes that were making noise, cleaned the throttle body, cleared codes, and… that was that (2004 GMC Envoy).
So… that was the day. I came home, ate the wonderful dinner my mom made, and then… here I am battling the desire to run away from life and vege in front of this big screen.
But I’m not gonna do it. I started to, but I’m not gonna do it. It’s after 11. I’m just gonna go to bed, get up, and do my dailies. So… there you go.
#1. I’m grateful I was able to get at least some things done today, more laundry, the VIN plate attached to my trailer, a tad more organization with the work van, etc.
#2. I’m grateful for my mom for making food. She made me lunch to take with me to work today as well, which was super fabulous. Very grateful.
#3. I’m grateful for the strength to go to bed right now instead of stay up and waste my life.
#4. I’m grateful to have made a tad bit of progress cleaning up my room/getting better organized this morning.
#5. I’m grateful to be getting to bed on this side of the midnight bells.
I’m…. what am I… I’m… part of me is anxious? Part of me is feeling a bit more motivation. Part of me is feeling a little more hope, I think. I feel like I’m closer to breaking free of this… whatever it is that feels like it’s holding me down. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m getting closer. I can feel it, and I’m grateful.
Hope y’all are learning and becoming. Such a wonderful challenging life. Infinite opportunities.
Love to all. 🙂
Lift the World
~ stephen
Lift the World 