I was gonna do some thinking today.
I didn’t. I didn’t leave my room but for moments.
I wasted my whole day watching Poldark… And I still can’t tear myself away from it, even as I write this…
I’m paralyzed. Avoiding life.
And yet… I can’t avoid it. I have business deadlines that are banging on the doors and windows of my life, due on the 14th.
The thinking I did do? Over and over and over again I find myself reminded of the beautiful past I had expected and hoped for these last handful of years… but lost.
The happiness… joy… and… fun. A lot of all of it.
I know what could have been. And I’m the poorer for having lost it.
And what good does dwelling on what could have been?
Little.
It is lost. And nothing I can do can bring it back or change it.
So I mourn.
Feeling much as though my own life rivals the plotlines of the shows I’m wasting my life on. … Though few know the details.
I don’t want tomorrow to come.
I hate my life.
Lift the World 
Three take-aways:
1) It’s OK to not be OK.
2) Fiction helps us make sense of who we are and helps creates empathy for others.
3) No one lives a life without regrets. How would you treat a friend who came to you with the words you wrote? Would you focus on their choices, their mistakes? What would you tell them? Imagine your response to their pain. Now switch seats and take that advice. Be a good friend to yourself in good times and bad. I love you.
Thx, Tish.
Sorry you are feeling this way 😞 Keep your head up. Things will get better. Good things are coming your way. Be patient. Let go. You are amazing, wonderful, talented, kind, smart…and very strong.