2021-10-13 — 😕

In my room pretty much all day again today, but I didn’t get much done. I’m completely overwhelmed and discouraged. The mountain of what I still have to figure out is just… unimaginably high. And I just… I’m so tired. So tired of my life. I want to move on and get away from all of this junk, but I can’t. I can’t just say nevermind, I’m not gonna worry about figuring out my tax issues. Heck, I’d pay thousands of dollars right now to have it be done. Thousands more than what I’m gonna end up paying. I just want it done.

I hate our mess of a government. Taxes shouldn’t be this complicated. I shouldn’t have to keep records of every little thing in 40 different categories. It’s… asinine. Having to go through every purchase and sort it out into how the government wants me to categorize it. Just keep it simple. For heaven’s sake.

Ugh.

Sorry.

I’m really frustrated right now.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have this crappy integrity bone. It would be so much easier to say screw it. They screw me. What do I care? They’ll never know.

But not only can’t I do that, I’m a freakin’ perfectionist, so I spend gobs and gobs of time going way farther than I probably should trying to make sure I’ve corrected my errors.

Pretty crappy combination to deal with. Ridiculously sensitive conscience and perfectionism.

Lovely.

Anyway… yeah… I’m really discouraged.

G’night.

~ stephen