2021-10-28 — 5 Days Down

Indomitable.

No Excuses.

One of the things that stuck out to me from one of the many motivational speeches I listened to today was a man who said he hadn’t set his alarm clock in 20 years because he’s so excited to wake up every day that he just wakes up for from excitement.

Something like that.

Makes me smile. That’s gonna be me. 😊 Don’t have a hard time waking up when I’m really excited about what’s coming the next day. Christmas as a kid, anyone?

Why do I have a hard time going to bed and getting up? Because I haven’t wanted to face the next day. I haven’t wanted to face the challenges, disappointments, the taxes due, the car repairs going sideways, the situation with my singleness, and on and on.

But, as a book a customer recently gave me teaches in the title, “The Obstacle is the Way.”

Man, I love these motivational speeches. 😁 It’s so nice to be back in the happy, positive light. I have really heavy things going on right now, really heavy, but I’ve been weathering them much much better, with days filled with energy and passion and determination and excitement. I. can’t. wait. to. get. my. taxes. done!

Here’s a clip from a motivational speech compilation that sums up one of the things I’m feeling right now. I’ve cued it to start right at the beginning of his sentiment that reflects mine (minutes 2:30-2:57).

Thanks, to the customer, if indeed my jumpstart came from internalizing what she said to me, who said, “the next time I call you for help with my car, you’d better not be working on cars anymore.”

Awesome.

I might not be. 😁 I have these taxes, and I made some progress again today on those. I’m gonna do some more before I go to bed.

Guess I might as well recap the day at this point. 😊

5 a.m. wakeup call, check. 5×5, check (room cleaner, more laundry put away, trash taken out of the house and put in my fabulous new junker van that is giving me the opportunity to practice patience because the battery was dead this morning, and the hood wouldn’t open because of the fender bender it was in that bent all the latch innards. Isn’t that awesome! So in the rain this morning, with my 5-minute trash delivery attempt, I couldn’t do anything but load it in the van. It was great! I got to practice patience. Awesome. Makes me smile to write that. Could have been cursing, and I found the negative emotions welling up out of habit, but I did so much better! I’ve done so much better since my course correction on Sunday. Got most of the weeds and treelets pulled out of the decomposing mulch under the tree across the driveway. Have some stubborn blackberry vines that are good patience triers as well. 🙃 Meditation, check. Breakfast, check. Working on my NP, check (might not seem related, but I spent a brief time starting to write out things I believe (added a new page on the About Me menu that I’m working on). More progress on taxes.

Then, when it came time to work, I… didn’t! It was rainy all day today, and I got wet yesterday, and I just didn’t wanna today. No thanks. So… I took the day off. 😁 I’m grateful I can do that.

Attitude. It’s such a difference maker. A week ago I was telling myself that I hate my life. And yes, there are things I’d love to change about it. But now, instead of wallowing. I will change those things. And the things I have no control over? I will change my attitude. Change it to gratitude.

Change it to “I can. I will. No excuses. I’m coming. Bring it on.”

Indomitable. 😁

From “I hate life.” to “Life is so much fun!”

Amazing.

I’ve been so focused on what I don’t have that I want for so long, beaten down so far for so long that it hasn’t taken much to knock me back down when I try to get up. But something shifted on Sunday. I don’t know exactly how. Just, boom. It didn’t even feel all that passionate at first. Just… determined. The emotion has all come in the process of progress. And so much of it due to these many motivational speeches just pounding away at me, reminding me over and over, who I am, what I want, who I want to be.

I’m through March on going back through every receipt from 2019. Part way into April. I’m gonna finish April before I go to bed. I’m gonna shift my schedule. Drop an hour of sleep from eight to seven to give me one more hour to plow through these taxes and get them out of the way. Let’s see if my body can do well with seven. Let’s see if I can be excited about tomorrow so much that I am itching to get up and get cracking on changing the world.

I’m excited. 😊

Got my little Nissan Versa listed for sale today. Don’t know how well it will sell. Has a tick or knock in the engine. Drives fine, but… who knows? So… I described the issues. Guess we’ll see what happens. Might rent it out to recoup the money and then sell for cheap. We’ll see.

Taxes. Taxes. Taxes. Gonna get these babies done.

Love and hugs to all. Gonna go get to work again!

By now! Oh,

Lift the World. 🙂

~ stephen