Buenas nacht, my amis!
Happy Monday to all y’all. 🙂
I’m not quite sure what the deal was, but I went to bed around 9 ish, I think, and i woke up fairly wide awake multiple times in the night. Once at like 11:30ish, once at like 1:30ish… and I was awake and not really tired (as I recall, anyway). When my alarm went off at 4, I actually was tired again.
Go figure. 🙃
But I was excited to be up again–not pumped–but a little energized to go get things going, get things done, and it was a really good, productive morning. I made some good progress on my vision for my nonprofit today–just thinking things through. I feel like I’m finally walking down the road of what’s been in my heart for… many many years. I’ve known I could change the world. As arrogant as that might sound. I’ve just… ever since I was a child, felt that there was so much I could do. And I think it might be time, if not long past time.
So. Here we are. I’m actively making plans. And it’s… fun to think about! I wish I had more credibility. Some additional letters after my name (MA doesn’t inspire too much? Ph.D would probably be a bit more… whatever the word is). I’d like to have a book or two written, so I’m not just joe shmoe with nothing to show but a 40 year old who hasn’t really done anything but is now gonna go out and change the world, but… that’s where I’m at, so… bring it on. I’ll find a way. And I’ll write some of the books I’ve wanted to write, and I’ll bring people together with or without more letters after my name and with or without ISBNs that bare my authorship.
Bring. It. On.
No excuses.
Indomitable.
That’s a good way to start this post because… it was a really sideways day. 🙃 It was another day with jobs I shouldn’t have said yes to, so I paid the price because I made probably a fifth or sixth of what I should have made for a normal day. First job took… hours, and I didn’t charge because I wasn’t able to improve the situation any. The Chevy dealer said he had a bad window motor, so I ordered one and put it in for him, but it had the same problem still. So I tested the window motor, and it wouldn’t do anything at all–the new one. I jumped it, but it wouldn’t move. The old one would at least make a clicking sound, but the new one, nope. Nothing at all. So it appeared to be a bad motor out of the box, but I start to have doubts even when it seems clear, and then it gets stressful, and I was just grateful that my customer decided to probable just take it back to the dealer. I didn’t charge him anything. I spent a lot of time trying to repair a little chip in the door panel that I might or might not have caused? If I did, I don’t know how I could have avoided it, because I took everything apart rather carefully.
Anyway, that one is off my plate. We had a good conversation about entrepreneurship, and I sent him some of the motivational speeches I’ve been listening to (he’s getting ready to start a detailing business, and as y’all know, that’s how I started my current business, transitioning from mobile detail work to fixing cars because people asked me if I could fix their cars).
So that one was hours wasted (probably 3 to 4 by the time commute and everything was said and done). The next job was multi repeat customer, and when he described the problem, I knew I might not be able to figure it out. It was an intermittent problem, and those are rather challenging because you can’t diagnose a problem you can’t reproduce. So… I couldn’t really reproduce it. I think I might have made it a little better, but… I threw up my hands on that one, too, fortunately spending an hour or less. I did that one for free as well, which he was also grateful for. The last car was another one I wasn’t looking forward to, but it went a lot better than expected. It was a fuel leak, leaking from the top of the tank, and so I dropped the tank down just enough to see and get my hands to where the leak was, and I found that a main quick connect had popped off. I popped it back in, tried to pull it back off, but I couldn’t, so I gave the customer the choice, drive it and see what happens (telling him it could last minutes as is or years. You just don’t know), and he opted to just leave it as is, so I cinched the tank back down. Then he asked if I could look at the check-engine lights, so I did that and explained what was likely going on (he had 8 check-engine codes for all sorts of things).
After that, it was like… 4:30, and the sun was starting to go down (crazy that it’s going down so quickly. It seems so quick. Like it was just summer, and now it’s starting to get darker at 4:30?!?! It’s nuts). Being as late as it was, and being rather tired, I nixed the last job and just went home stopping along the way to try and find a welder for my bulldozer, but that was a no go today.
Eddie showed up with a gift of firewood that was in tandem with someone who shall remain nameless, so we grabbed a pallet I had lying around and stacked the wood on it out by the other pallets of wood. I moved the big package lock box into the garage, so mom can clean and rust paint it. I ate dinner (before the other activities), and now here I am. It’s 8:22, and I’m heading to bed.
Daily Reflection: As I look back over the day, I see the struggles were in the most-common areas–big temptations to be a distracted driver by looking at my phone (I did much much better today, though still not perfect), the mouth fouled out a little bit during that first job when things started going sideways right and left. Or left and right. Or… whatever.
The obstacle is the way.
I use the motivational speeches as reminders because it’s so easy to forget, to let the tentacles of mental habit latch on and pull me back to where I was. The speeches help me regain focus. The drive has to be internal. The speeches can’t do it. They just remind, uncover, awaken… but the drive… that has to be mine.
Fortunately, it is. I have many years of fear tentacles to cast off, so many mental habits that need to be trained away. But I’ll get there, and the motivational speeches are helping.
I think growth emotionally/spiritually is a lot like physical muscle growth. Sometimes doing the same things in the same ways over and over and over… don’t work so well anymore, and you need to shock the muscles with a new way of training the same muscles. I think this is the same. The lessons aren’t really any different than what I’ve learned many times before, but the packaging is different. The take is a little different. The approach is different… but the principles are the same. But the different approach is fresh. It’s rejuvenating.
The main thing right now, I think is to remind myself of the why’s. Why do I desire what I do? Keeping the answers to that in the forefront will hopefully lead to indomitable motivation with fewer needed reminders and more innate drive.
Gratitude:
- I’m grateful to be absolutely fine with a cruddy money day.
- I’m grateful to have those jobs off my list. i didn’t make anything, but they’re off my list, and that means stressors are reduced.
- I’m grateful that I was able to say “no” to multiple potential jobs that I knew would be stressful because they were just… different. There are so many jobs out there that need to be done that are simple, easy, or at least perfectly within my wheelhouse. I’m crazy busy all the time, so there’s no need to take on any of the suspect ones, the potential black holes, even the ones I can do but have to learn first. I just… I have enough work available to not have to take those.
- I’m grateful that I was able to say “no” to working longer today. I had one more job to do, and I was just like, nope. I’m going home.
- I’m grateful to have my hill family be so inclusive of me. It’s nice.
- I’m grateful to be ready for bed. I’m a tad late (it’s 8:33), but I’m doing rather well.
- I’m grateful to have a relatively clean room, and a bed that’s so easy to make because it’s wedged up against the wall, so the blankets stay on perfectly on three sides, and I only have to flop over the one corner to “make” my bed. 😁
- I’m grateful for the progress I’m making with my taxes. Slow and steady, and one day, I’ll be done. One day soon.
- I’m grateful that my work van is still going strong. Cross your fingers. I’ve put a lot of miles on it since I bought it, but it’s done me rather well.
- I’m grateful that the package drop box was able to roll well enough through the gravel that it wasn’t a nightmare to get it in the garage, so mom can take care of the rust on it.
Daily Memorization:
Accountability:
- Bed last night at 8:30: Umm… close? I don’t remember. It was 8:30 or 9, I think.
- Up at 4: Check.
- 5x5s:Chech
- Exercise: Better, and I pushed when I didn’t want to, but still much improvement needed.
- Cold shower: Check! Boom.
- Meditation: Yep.
- Breakfast: Yup.
- NP Work: Great progress. Yep.
- Tax Work: Good progress.
- Lunch: Yes-ish.
- Work done by 6: Yes!!!
- Dinner: Yup!
- Only truly healthy foods: Ate the last of the flour tortillas. No more to be purchased. Half a thing of “healthy” jelly left. Then no more. Gonna dilute the granola with grape nuts half and half, I think.
- No Wasted Life: Check!!!!!
- No Distracted Driving: Much better. Improvement still needed.
- Faced a Fear: Hmmm… Did I face a fear today? I’m not sure. So… we’ll say no. I’d better get that going! Might go find my fear list again and start planning in fear activities like I used to.
- Tamed the tongue: 😬 Do better tomorrow? 🙃
My love to you all!
Lift the World
~ stephen
Lift the World 
What a gorgeous day! Thank you again for spreading your light.
😊😊😊