Totally blew it today. I was supposed to get to bed and get up, but I just… couldn’t. Instead, I slept from like 8 a.m. to 5 something p.m.
In times like these I wonder if working for myself is more of a curse. Would I find the strength to go work if I were in danger of losing my job if I didn’t show up? The answer is probably, yes, I would find the strength. But I get to choose. I can work when I want, and so… being depressed (or whatever this is), I don’t have to force myself to work.
That said, I’ve actually been really productive, comparatively, since getting up. It’s 4:30 a.m., and I’ve gotten quite a bit done with tax prep, going through the minefield of papers that literally covered probably 60% or more of the available floorspace in my room. And it’s not a small room, so that’s a lot of space and quite a few piles of papers. It looks a heck of a lot better than it did several hours ago.
My goal (I think?) is going to be to pull an all nighter tonight, so that tomorrow I can actually go to bed early and get up early and hopefully get back to a normal schedule. That’s the goal, anyway. We’ll see how it goes.
Hard day, though. I find myself really unhappy with myself that I can’t just get over it and get a move on. There are several things that are waiting on me right now, important things. I just… can’t seem to get going all the way. So… I do what I can get myself to do. I did a whole lot of paperwork prep that I’ve needed to do, and I got Facebook ads up for the two broken pressure washers that I have. Supposedly have someone who wants to come tomorrow night to buy them. That would be good. Get them out of the garage. They’ve been just taking up space and time and energy and stress.
I really don’t like having lots of things–well, I guess I could clarify that I don’t like having lots of things that I either don’t really ever use or are broken and need to be fixed. Then they just add to my stress… stuffocated. But for me stoffocation is caused by the stress of having to deal with it. The time and energy it’s going to take to deal with the stuff.
Anyway, halfway through January already. Pretty nutty. Life is going by so quickly.
My hip, six months or so later, is as bad as ever, perhaps even worse. Apparently, home for three weeks without putting real stress or strain on it has actually been worse for it? Go figure.
Well, folks. Life is crazy, but I’m still kicking… albeit rather weakly these days.
Hope y’all enjoy your day today.
Lift the World 
“Don’t let your imagination be crushed by life as a whole.” All you have to do, Marcus Aurelius said, is “stick with the situation at hand.” Action by action, the next right thing. You’ll get there!
Tish! Yes!! **I love you!** I love who you are and who you grow yourself to be! If I was typing this on my phone I could use a million heart emojis. Instead, just feel my heart’s million energies of love. 🙂 🙂
I love you, too, Heather!