It’s 8:49 p.m., I’m a bit late starting on my journal entry for the day. Funny because I’ve been ready to go to sleep since like 6:30. 🙃
A bit tired. 😴
Guess what?
I succeeded! 🥳
I went to bed at 9:00! (though I didn’t fall asleep for a good while, and I woke up a few times in the night because I was… a bit more hydrated than usual. 😅)
And when 4:30 rolled around, I got up! 🥳
I drank my first 24 oz of water for the day (part of my new hydration plan) as soon as i woke up (and then abruptly remembered that it was Fast Sunday (if you don’t know what that is and want to know, here’s a brief explanation.)
Oops. 😆
Other than the brain fart with the water, I knocked my new morning routine completely out of the park. Yay! 🎉
I’ve had some pretty heavy things weighing on me today from something I read when I first woke up, so it was nice to have a good morning study and good chats with The Big Guy, as well as the support of my friend Cory as I work through stuff.
And I’m working on putting my complete trust in The Big Guy. That would help immensely with this and everything else, just trusting in God–whatever the future might hold.
🤞
I think my two biggest obstacles are pride and fear. Pride, well, that’s the simpler, more straightforward one (not easy to overcome, but simple and straightforward to understand.)
Completely trusting in the existence of God is much harder for me. It doesn’t seem to matter how many experiences I’ve had. It doesn’t seem to matter that deep down I believe more than I don’t and always will, since my knowledge isn’t perfect, the door to doubt is wide open, and I’m Little Mr. Doubts A Lot. 🙃
Anyway, that’s big on my priority list right now.
Trust.
And the best way that I know how to get to that point is to build my relationship with The Big Guy.
I found myself longing to talk to him pretty much all day today… so much on my mind.
It was good to be at church today. It’s so different from the last time I was there. Our little branch is now a large ward, pews packed and many people in the overflow, including myself.
With my spine issues, it’s nice to be at the very back, so I can get up and walk around if I can’t take anymore pain/discomfort sitting down.
I think there was another gentleman sitting in the back dealing with similar issues, as he got up and walked to the back for part of the meeting.
Again, it was good to be at church today. So I don’t recognize a huge chunk of the people who are there, I did recognize plenty of the others, and I had many people come up to me to welcome me back.
Really nice people. Such a good congregation.
I admit that I prefer much smaller congregations, though. It feels so much more personal because you get to know everybody more deeply. I loved that little branch in Montana.
After church, I spend a lot of time pondering and studying and chatting with The Big Guy.
I ate dinner about 3:00, as my new nutrition routine is following the research on time restricted eating (TRE), which combines multiple different areas of research into a recommended schedule for eating.
More pondering, more studying, more chatting with the Man Upstairs.
I reached out and connected with a bunch of family members and friends both locally and all over the country.
I have a little headache from not having enough to drink, and looking at the clock, I realize I’m not going to get as much sleep tonight because though I was great in my morning routine, my evening routine is… lacking so far. 🙃
I’m grateful for the change of heart that I’ve had in the last little while. I’m grateful for the increase in hope and excitement and passion for the gospel things that I have missed.
I’m grateful for kind congregation members who had nothing but wonderful things to say to me in seeing me back at church today. No judgment. No sideways looks. Just love and kindness.
I’m grateful for the progress I feel like I’ve been able to make in letting go of destructive expectations.
I’m grateful for the progress that I’ve been making with curbing my temper. It’s clear to me that there is a direct correlation between getting back to gospel things and being more patient.
Of course, the little voice in the back of my mind says that I haven’t really had my patience tested all that much since I haven’t been working on cars. 😅
But I’ll ignore that little voice for now and just be grateful for the significantly increased peace in my life. There’s still plenty of anxiety, but there’s a lot more peace and stillness than I’ve had in a long time.
My love to all.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 