It was a tough day in some respects–more car issues that leave me concerned I caused damage. 😕
I don’t know where my brain is. It’s really discouraging right now. I’ve been making so many mistakes lately. I probably take more responsibility than is mine to reasonably take, but it’s not black and white… at least it isn’t in my own brain, and so I worry. I feel like the only way to fix it and be comfortable and ok within my own conscience is to take complete responsibility even if there’s a great likelihood the responsibility lies mostly, possibly even fully, with the customer.
I have like… maybe 4 or 5 of these cars right now. 😕 And I’m trying to figure out what to do. I’m really discouraged and really worried. It’s all piling up at once, and I don’t understand.
And all this as I’m finally wrapping up my car repair career.
(sigh)
The irony.
Cruel irony. 😅
So my stress level is high, and I’m working through it right now.
My poison ivy level is also quite high. Apparently, my past paranoia was actually effective. In the past, I’ve been so worried about getting more poison ivy that I go through and clean everything that could possibly have poison ivy oils on it.
Well, this time I tried not to be paranoid, and to just be “reasonable,” and… I’m paying for it.
Yesterday it had spread to my right ear, and today to my face, so I’m still clearly coming into contact with the oils somewhere, as I haven’t worked on the deck area for several days now.
Anyway, lots going on in the brain and heart.
Lots of stress right now, trying to open up my perspective and see the bigger picture, so I can let go of the worry and just deal with reality.
“Some of your hurts you have cured, and the sharpest you’ve even survived. But what torments of grief you’ve endured from evils which never arrived” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’m good at manufacturing those torments of grief. 🙃
There were nice surprises as well today…
The first job that I did today was supposed to be front and rear brake pads and rotors, the dealership having told them that they’re rotors were heat cracked and that they needed brakes all the way around, but when I got there, the rotors were fine, the pads were fine, I didn’t see any heat cracking at all on any of the rotors, and the noise that I heard that they were concerned about turned out to just be rust that had built up on the rear inner portion of the right rear rotor. It was causing the emergency brake shoe to rub against the rust. So I sanded down the rust, and boom, they were good to go.
So instead of getting $1,000 ish bill from me for brake pads and rotors for the front and rear, they didn’t need any brake work at all, other than just sanding off some rust off the inner part of the rotor.
It was good actually for both of us, because I was super behind, having told one of my customers I was going to be there relatively early in the day, but being way far away and still having two cars ahead of him. Since they didn’t need anything for the brakes, I was able to get on my way a lot quicker than had they needed the full job that was expected.
The same thing, gratefully, happened with the next car. The gentleman thought he needed a fuel pump, but when I got out there, it was simply that his security system had engaged and locked him out. So I reset that for him, and he was good to go. So instead of having to spend all that time diagnosing and then replacing a fuel pump, which can be a pretty big job, I was done very quickly once again.
That allowed me to get to the next job that I was supposed to get to relatively early in the day. It was going back to that Dodge Dakota that needed a water pump.
Some years back, maybe three? I did a bunch of work for my friend Jimmy on his Dodge ram truck. After working on his truck, and fighting with it every single time I went to work on it, I swore that I would never work on it again.
Well, this Dodge Dakota had the same style engine design, and turned out to be just as big of a nightmare. I spent more than 6 hours fighting. It was an absolute nightmare, and sadly, my inner sailor was once again released and had a field day. 😅
It probably took me 30 or more minutes just to get one of the clamps off because of where they had it on the vehicle. And then the old gasket was the paper kind, which meant that it took me probably an hour and a half or longer to clean off all of the old paper gasket. It was brutal.
If that weren’t enough, when I went to bolt the new water pump back on, I noticed little metal shavings falling down from the thread where the bolt was going in in three different places. So I spent I don’t even know how long trying to get the water pump back in creating as few metal shavings is possible because Chrysler decided to engineer it such that some of the bolts go straight into the coolant, and some of the bolts go straight into the oil. The bolts that were getting a little metal shavings on them, go straight into the oil.
😶
It really does just boggle my mind. Maybe somebody can teach me why it makes sense to do it that way?
Because it certainly doesn’t from my perspective. 😅
I got there about 1:00 and didn’t leave until after 7:00, I think. Rough rough rough. But it certainly made me appreciate that I decided to not do the whole job the other night when I first diagnosed it. Not only did I really not have time to do it that night, but good gravy, I would have been there until 2:00 in the morning or having to come back leaving him without a vehicle.
The next car was replacing the alternator in the Mercedes E320. That went relatively smoothly, for which I was grateful. 🥳
The last car was going to a 2019 Chevrolet Silverado 5.3 that had a severe oil leak. Turns out that the oil cooler line had completely snapped in half.
😬
The rubber piece had come out of its crimp connection. I’ve never seen that happen. Ever. I see them leak on a pretty regular basis, but I have never ever seen one just come apart like that. It was pretty astonishing, honestly.
I asked the young lady to put the truck in neutral so I could push it backwards, so it would be away from the curb and easier to access underneath, and also so I didn’t have to be lying down in the middle of a puddle of oil, but she accidentally started the engine trying to put it in neutral. Not thinking clearly, instead of yelling at her to turn the engine off, I just told her to go ahead and quickly put it in reverse and back up a few feet and then shut it off.
I should have just told her to shut it off right away. I don’t know why I thought it was okay to go ahead and put it in reverse, leaving it running for another 10 seconds or so.
I mean realistically, it’s probably not going to do any more damage than what already might have been done, but… Still a bone-headed decision, Even if the only real casualty is my own anxiety because now instead of being completely outside the entire situation that caused the issue, now I have perhaps a small hand in it, even if tiny.
And little Stephen doesn’t do so well if there’s even a tiny chance he contributed to a problem. Then he wonders if maybe he’s the one who caused the whole problem.
Anyway, so I was stressed about that the entire rest of the night. I didn’t get to bed until after 11:00, and turned off my alarms in the morning, guaranteeing that I wouldn’t accomplish my morning routine.
That’s how it goes with me–one deliberate decision to break the habit, but just for one day to accomplish something good, and the habit falls apart. I think I’m 3 days in a row now Not getting up and doing my routine because I decided to sleep in one day. One day because I really needed sleep. I should have just gotten up, and then figured out a way to take a nap during the day, and prioritized that instead of sleeping in.
Oh well…
I hope, i hope, i hope I can get back on the horse tonight (I’m writing this earlier in the day of the 5th).
I’ll start with just one thing–bed on time. I’m not gonna worry about anything else but bed on time. Not tomorrow and getting up, Not all the other areas where I am falling short, just bed on time. One thing.
I had an aunt (an adopted aunt actually, which kind of makes it even cooler to call her my aunt) who once told me. “I only expect one thing of myself each day.”
I think she was a happy, easy going person at the time of her life that she told me that.
So… I’ve got my one thing, and I’m going to focus on that. I’m gonna give myself grace to not accomplish anything else. Certainly, I’ll try to accomplish more things, but Everything else is going to be a bonus.
One thing.
And I’m going to celebrate any successes, even if I fail at that one thing. 🙃 And I’m not going to pay any attention to how far away I am from where I think I should be. I’m here, and here is ok.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 