When I went to bed last night, even though I had diligently set up to charge my jump box to be ready to run My fan all night, apparently, once again, I forgot to switch it to the on position that allows it to actually charge. So when I went to lay down to go to sleep, and I went to plug in the fan to the jump box, the jump box was at only like 11.4 volts.
No good. No good at all.
But the last thing that I wanted was to heat up a jump box that would then radiate heat all through the inside of the van.
So I just let it go with 11.4 volts and hoped that it would run the fan all night.
It did. 🎉
Gratefully, I wasn’t inundated with bugs. Despite the fact that I had to brush off ants.
The fan was definitely running at lower power by morning, the jump box haven’t drained from 11.4 volts all the way down to seven point something.
But it lasted.
It was an overcast morning, for which I’m also grateful. The heat has been brutal. I don’t know how people survived before the Advent of electricity And air conditioning.
And especially with some of the fashions that they had back in the day. Thick long clothing, gazillions of layers. I guess in some places layers help, but when it’s hot and humid…
Anyway, on the docket for the day was to try and finish getting everything from Jenna’s house. There’s still so much crap around the yard that I’m cleaning up.
I’ve spent thousands upon thousands of hours working on that property.
Weird to have it be someone else’s. I guess it always was, but… yeah…
Anyway, I started the day doing a little cleanup at the greenhouse area. I arranged to meet my mom at the old house, Jenna’s house.
I also started labeling all my storage bins, gratefully finding the one that had the stuff in it that I was most concerned about finding.
Jim came down so I could show him some metal stuff to figure out what to do with, recycle, repurpose, whatever. That was good. Trying to make progress on getting that area cleaned up.
After that, I went over with Mom to the old house, she in Rover and I driving the skid steer. I had a bunch of rotten wood and concrete and all sorts of other things to load up.
I worked on loading that stuff up while my mom worked on loading up stuff from the basement. I think it took me maybe four trips in the skid steer before I had everything done that I was going to get.
Then I helped my mom load everything else in the van and into her car. Risa came over and helped us load up the water storage.
That was nice of her. She’s such a great person.
We got all that loaded up, and then my mom and I went to lunch at Victoria’s in Pea Ridge. My veganism has fallen off a cliff with my mental health because I just can’t… I just can’t deal with anything that requires any mental effort at all. I flood almost instantly.
I’m just… done.
Thoroughly spent. 😞
Grateful to Jim for helping us unload. After we got done with lunch, we actually unloaded the vast majority of everything we’d loaded up and unloaded it into the storage barn. It should be fairly useful for other people on the hill.
Jim asked if there was anything he could do for me, or sometime like that. and I just broke down. I’m barely holding anything together.
I need relief. I need a different brain. I need to be able to just relax and actually be at rest–body, mind, spirit.
Somehow…
…
It’s later now. I went and bought more door-fixing parts for Rover, so I can be better prepared for the next repair. Then i went across the street to the Neighborhood market and bought popsicles to bring to Jim and Steph’s for Landon’s birthday dinner.
I worked on this journal entry a bit while in the store.
Spent the next couple hours at Jim and Steph’s. Fun and lively discussion at dinner talking about politics but then future technology, and my views that it’s only going to be a couple decades before humanoid robots and AI do most of the work, And that court cases in the future are going to be about whether or not robots have rights.
Fun stuff to chat about.
After dinner, I helped Landon fix his flintlock rifle in preparation for our 4th of July festivities. He’s trying to get a fully functional flintlock rifle ready for us to have fun with for the family reunion
Fun stuff. 🙂
Now I’m down here in my little spot charging up my jump box so that I can charge myself phone and run my fan all night.
I’m desperately lonely.
Not because I don’t have great people in my life. I have wonderful Family all over the country, from Arkansas to the West Coast and between.
But I long for someone to give my everything to. I long for someone to be one with.
I’m trying to find some purpose for life, but I can’t find anything that sustains the push.
I’m still trying. I haven’t given up. I’m just…. dying inside.
I’m gonna hit the hay early tonight, I think. Get some extra sleep, maybe. 🤞
G’night.
Lift the World 