(work on the 12th)
There’s not much to say about today.
It was a beautiful day, cloudy pretty much all day. A lot cooler than it usually is for summertime. I think maybe high 70s as a high.
And… I was basically not functional today. 😅
I think I was just completely worn out, emotionally exhausted.
Someone came by and bought the big chainsaw, But other than that, I didn’t even go out to enjoy the weather really. I just stayed in the van all day long, wasting my life away staring at my phone.
It’s been so hot and so dry for so long that leaves on some trees are turning yellow and falling off as though fall has already begun.
Today was the Sunday that was family meeting Sunday, But I just… I live in a van down by the creek. It’s awkward. I don’t want to be at the family meetings anymore. It’s awkward and uncomfortable.
I’m here on the hill but not. I’m part of the hill but not.
I was pretty much useless today.
My mom came over after meeting to see how I was.
…
I want to connect with a friend who I haven’t talked to in… years… I could reach out, but she’s married, and then she’d have to tell her husband, and that would just be awkward for her and selfish of me.
I used the Wayback Machine to read some older posts on a blog that I used to have access to that I don’t anymore.
I think I probably watched three movies.
I keep sliding over and writing what I’m thinking currently, which doesn’t quite fit with yesterday. Some of it does, but I keep writing stream of consciousness stuff about how I’m feeling… And that belongs on a post for the 12th, not the 11th.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 