Not much to write today.
I sat in my van until… Gosh, I think it was after 5 :00 p.m..
It rained in the morning, and the wind was strong enough that I decided to move Rover away from the trees, so as not to be the recipient of falling branches should any fall.
My back is killing me.
The last couple days it’s just gotten worse and worse.
I shaved today for the first time in a long time. I also cut my hair using Rover’s driver’s side mirror.
A little harder than using a bathroom mirror, but still works just fine.
I don’t look in the mirror much. Sometimes I’m a little surprised to see the face and eyes looking back at me because I’m not used to seeing what I look like now.
The gray, the wrinkles.
The joys of getting older.
And oof! the back 😕
At least I know that so many of the issues that I experience with pain and with my nerves is all from the same source– spine issues, top to bottom.
Pretty sure that’s even the cause of the heartburn Stuff as well.
I think I’ve probably shared all that before multiple times.
Worked on filing papers and cleaning up old files today. Watched a couple Jurassic Park movies while doing all that paperwork sorting.
But… I’m not going to watch any movies tomorrow.
As much as it scares me to try again, I’m going to try again.
I don’t want to fail again. I’m already so tired. But what good is life if I’m not true to myself?
So August 13th… We’re going to use that as the start date for a whole bunch of stuff.
I’m afraid to fail again.
I don’t even really want to try again.
(sigh)
But… direction not diversion…
One of my nephews called me somewhere around 5:00, stuck at work, vehicle not starting.
So I drove out to help, and gratefully I found that he just accidentally had the vehicle in reverse. Can’t start an automatic unless it’s in park or neutral.
Easy fix. 🙃
Wasted time well into the evening, well into the late night. But that ends now.
I’m trying again.
🤞
…
Spent some time listening to an old phone conversation. I used to record meaningful conversations with friends and family (both sides knowing the call was being recorded, in case you were concerned). It’s nice to go back sometimes.
I can feel myself turning back to god… darn it… it’s too early. I’m not ready yet.
I don’t want to go back yet.
I don’t want to hope again.
And I haven’t yet started my non-profit.
What’s real? What’s true?
I don’t know.
I feel the winds of change.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 