Talk about a lot of opposition to being able to maintain the commitments I just made…
Today was another doozy. 😶
I woke up about 3:00 in the morning with my migraine back but having switched sides of my head.
I ate a banana and some crackers and drank some soy milk, so I could get some food in me and take some more migraine pills.
Being awake that long, not to mention eating, meant that going back asleep, unfortunately, was not in the cards. At least, not right away.
I ended up being awake from somewhere around 3:00 to somewhere between 5:00 and 6:00 a.m., I think.
My brain was too awake, my head hurt, and my back and nerve issues were screaming at me.
😞
I tossed and turned and shifted positions 80 gazillion times, stuffed pillows here, stuffed blankets there, supported my body here, supported my body there, trying to find some position that didn’t hurt.
But everything hurt. 😞
At some point, I had the thought that maybe part of the reason my back has been so unhappy with me is that the van is on a slight angle, so the bed is tilted just a tad downhill. That is, one side of the bed is higher up, and the other side little lower down.
That means my body wants to roll/slide To the downhill side of the bed, which means my weight must rest a little bit more on one side of my back than the other.
I thought maybe that could be causing an increase in the issues.
So somewhere around 5 or 6 in the morning, I re-parked the van so it was actually facing the woods, making the the head of the bed the uphill side and the foot of the bed the downhill side.
😁
Miracle of miracles.
It worked!
I was actually able to lie down without a whole bunch of pain!!!
Holy crapoly, what a knife’s edge it is between misery and relief!
During my tossing and turning hours, I gave up trying to fall asleep for a good long time and spent some time trying to hack into a super old email account of a friend of mine.
She has an email address from many many years ago that she lost access to and hasn’t ever been able to get it back, so I figured maybe I would give it a shot at hacking into it for her. 🙃
No dice.
Of course, I would be about level 1 if there were 100 levels of hacker expertise, and 100 was super duper grand master hacker, so… it’s no surprise. 🙃
I stayed away from movies and TV and news and sports and all that jazz. 🥳
Though I think I did catch myself having unintentionally begun watching Facebook reels.
I stopped immediately.
After getting in that new position with the van moved and everything, I was, eventually, able to doze off. I’m not going to say that I slept slept, because it was more like a doze, but it was certainly better than nothing!
I dozed from maybe 6 until 9:00 something, maybe 10ish.
Oh, I did watch some YouTube stuff In addition to my feeble hacking attempt.
But!
It wasn’t time wasting stuff: it was back exercise stuff for people with osteoarthritis of the back, which I have had for 15-20 years-ish.
When I finally got up in the morning, I moved the van again, as the shade was in a little different spot then where I had been parked to try and fall asleep better.
I started listening to the book Rules for Radicals, by Saul Alinsky. I want to better understand different perspectives, as I mentioned in a previous post, so I’ve got all sorts of books on the docket espousing principles and philosophies that I might not support personally.
But who knows? I go in with an open mind, and an open heart, seeking understanding, not strategy and ammunition.
First item on the to-do list for the day was to get my cars registration updated. I had three that were expiring at the end of the month. Actually, I think I had five, but two of them dropped off when I got rid of them (Loaf and the Volkswagen).
I also wanted to get my real ID. My driver’s license expires in December, and I don’t know where I’m going to be.
But you need all sorts of documentation for getting your real ID, documentation that I don’t have because I don’t have a home. I have to have two different pieces of documentation proving the address that I live at.
Well… I live in a field by a creek. Technically, it does have an address. But I don’t get a power bill or anything like that.
So, I’m going to have to get a little creative. Not to mention, my real ID will be immediately out of date once I move again if I get it before I move to my next place.
Anyway, so I didn’t end up getting my real ID, just the updated stickers for the license plates on my three business vehicles.
When I got home, I decided to start working on cleaning up the dirt piles, So I filled my skid steer with fuel, having stopped off on the way to town and filled three 5 gallon gas cans with Off-Road diesel.
And I started going to town on getting the dirt moved from down by the mailboxes to the ditch along the main dirt road through the property, and also from over by the burn pile next to the greenhouse, to a few different places that needed dirt (The same ditch, as well as lots of different low spots and uneven places).
As I was working with a skid steer, I don’t know what happened, but I heard some kind of a puncture or something, and one of the hydraulic cylinders that runs the tilt on the bucket started squirting out hydraulic fluid.
Lovely. 😕
So I got on the phone with WT equipment again and got the part number for the seal kit that I need. They’ve got four in stock, so I can just drive down and pick one up. But I’m going to do what I did last time, and try and take it apart myself, and if I can’t, then I’ll have them go ahead and reseal it while I’m there.
I also noticed that one of the main cylinders that I had the seals replaced on last time was leaking just a tiny bit.
😕
Oh, and did I mention, the AC stopped working in my Civic?
Yeah, everything’s breaking. The AC stopped working about the time That I had the belt tear apart.
Oh, I forgot to mention that… On the way into town, I went to check something as I pulled onto degraff Road. I got out and started looking over by the passenger front wheel, and I smelled rotting animal.
I couldn’t see anything dead and rotting, But I’m betting that the reason my belt got chewed up and torn up, but without any visible cause, was because there was a critter inside my engine when I started it, most likely a squirrel, and it tried to get out while I was driving down the road, getting itself caught in my belt and shredding it a little bit.
😬
So the question is, did that also damage my AC system, or did the damage to my AC system happen when I accidentally plowed into high bought in the field as I was driving from down by the greenhouse up to the dumpster area.
Who knows. Whatever happened, the AC has gotten a little worse and a little worse, so I’m guessing there’s a leak somewhere. Today, there was no cool air at all, I don’t think.
At least the fan blows. I’m used to not having AC, from so many years working as a mechanic in vans and other vehicles that didn’t have functional AC.
I can’t believe I did that, by the way. I think I’ve mentioned that before, but holy crap, what was I thinking?!?!?!
Despite the leak in the cylinder, I decided to keep on working. It was just leaking out fluid, and I could put more in, so I took several loads of dirt to the ditch from the piles by the mailbox. I took a load of wood chips by the mailbox up to to the garden area. It’s already composting very nicely.
I decided to take the skid steer down into the creek area again to work on the dam a little bit more.
I watched out snakes a little bit more today. 🙃
First I had to get a bunch of those dead tree leftovers and Vines out of the area where they had all washed and Tangled together during one of the big storms.
So I pulled that mess apart, no more snakes slithering anywhere from there. Then I grabbed the skid steer and I probably doubled or tripled the size of the dam.
Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth scooping up Creek Rock and dumping it in the pile that is the “dam.”
I probably shouldn’t put that in quotes, as it is slowly becoming a fairly successful dam.
Granted, the dam will get demolished and washed completely away at the next major major storm.
But for now, it’s slowly self-sealing, and slowly filling up more and more.
I managed to get the skid steer stuck in the creek for a little while, the ramp out of the creek being still too steep.
But I fought and fought and fought and finally managed to Get it out without having to be rescued.
🎉
I took a bath in the creek, or rinse off, I guess would be more appropriate.
And then I continued right back working again.
I dug up three or four tree stumps that were around the burn pile, keeping me from being able to contour that portion of the area.
Then I started, with my mini excavator, scraping away the dirt to try and contour the slope.
That took a very long time.
Part of the time, I was scraping with the mini excavator. Part of the time I was using the bucket to transfer dirt from one place to another. Part of the time I was using the skid steer to move dirt from the pile to different places That needed dirt to have better landscaping or better drainage or better mowability.
Completely covered in dirt again, and almost dark outside, I parked the excavator and skid steer, jumped in Rover, drove to the creek, rinsed off a second time, And then drove into Pea Ridge to buy my rabbit food.
🥕🐇
Apples, peaches, honeydew melon, cantaloupe, pineapple, carrots, celery…
Black beans, red beans in spicy chili sauce…
Whole wheat tortillas…
Salsa…
I guess we’ll see how it goes. 🙃
Came home and drank some soy milk, though I could tell it was starting to go bad already. Day and a half inside a very warm van. 😅
Took some migraine pills because the migraine is coming back again.
Ate three celery sticks, dipping them in peanut butter.
Ate half of a not quite ripe honeydew melon.
Ate a few cuties. Forgot to mention that I bought some of those.
Continued listening to Rules for radicals while eating.
- I’m grateful that tick season has passed. Are there still ticks? Of course. Could I still get some, of course. But I haven’t gotten any for a few days, and haven’t even bothered to put tape around my ankles. I keep the grass mowed in this area now, and with it being as hot as it is and the grass as short as it is, it’s not a place ticks like to be.
- I’m grateful that my fingers are starting to make meaningful healing progress. My index finger is close to being back to normal. My middle finger still has that funky uber deep blistery thing, But it no longer hurts a whole bunch to push on the end of my nail, whereas just a couple days ago, putting pressure on the tip of my nail toward the nail bed would send me through the roof. It still feels like my nail might be dead, but it also feels like maybe there’s a chance it’ll survive? I don’t know. We’ll see, but right now it’s definitely improving significantly, whatever the ultimate reality turns out to be.
- I’m grateful that despite so much bad news with vehicles and equipment breaking down, I only had a few instances of less than Stellar language, but none of them were premeditated. They were all… Gosh what did I used to call them… flyers? (swear words that come out of my mouth before I even realize anything). And again, I don’t count anything that I don’t realize I’ve done until after it’s happened. I’m only counting what I am consciously recognizing in the moment. And I don’t think I had any conscious swearing today. So that’s a win.
- No TV or wasted time with movies. No porn. None of that crap. That’s another win.
- I’m grateful that somehow the switch got flipped inside my brain. I walked by the aisles where all my junk food is, and it barely registered. There wasn’t much of any pull at all to buy any of that stuff. That’s nice. I guess I’ve got both habits. Buy it all the time, and buy it never. Apparently, it’s easy to flip back and forth between the two. 🙃
It was roasty toasty today, mid to Upper ’90s, I think, which means as I’m writing this journal entry, while sitting in Rover, even with the fan on me, I’m a little roasty toasty.
Back is much better today than it was yesterday and last night. Migraine was gone all day but is trying to return right now.
Again, it’s my own fault. Didn’t get enough to eat or drink today.
Dumb.
One positive side effect of eliminating the bad language… It’s significantly reduces the negative self-talk.
I used to think well of myself, give myself credit for trying, etc. But lately, I’ve just ragged on myself. Abusing myself verbally continually. Every time something goes sideways or I make a mistake, I have been verbally abusing myself pretty mercilessly.
So cutting out that language means that I’ve mostly been cutting out the self-abuse.
So that’s a bonus.
Another weekend is about to start, and I still am not working regularly on JustAnswer, although I was invited and accepted the invitation to be part of their expert panel, and they sent me the link today, so that’s… something.
It’s coming up on midnight. I need to eat a little bit more and drink a bit to hopefully stave off this migraine.
Hopefully I’ll be a little smarter tomorrow.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 