(written on the 22nd as though the 21st)
I woke up today at 7:00 something and actually got started with the day.
I was a little more energetic wanting to get things done today. Lots of plans for things to accomplish.
The day didn’t quite go as hoped, But on the positive side, the last two or three nights have been much better sleeping. Much less pain. I’ve been taking ibuprofen before bed, and apparently that’s helping with the inflammation in my back.
Grateful for that. Definitely grateful for that.
So, of course, living down by the creek, there isn’t a standard bathroom nearby. So my bathroom is my surroundings. Pee anywhere, of course, but I have a little hole that I poop in, as if I were camping.
Except, being in Arkansas, there are so many insects, poop eaters, if you just leave your… uh… waste sitting right on top of the ground, they begin taking care of it for you. Ants, flies, even butterflies.
After several days, it looks more like a disintegrating, collapsing husk, and the original smell goes away right quick.
Bet you wanted to know all that. 🙃
So for this case, I’m actually grateful for the gazillions of bugs.
So the spring having much easier access means getting water is a lot easier now. If I’m up working, and I’ve run out of water in my jugs, it’s super easy to just walk down now and fill up my LifeStraw bottle and take a good drink.
I’m grateful that my brain started working after 2 months, and I had the thought to put my bathing stuff in a little container down by where I bathe and my toilet stuff in a little container over by where I poop.
That reduces the amount of thinking that has to happen, because now I can just go to those places without having to think about where I put the stuff that now goes in those containers.
It only took a couple months to have that realization finally click in the brain. That’s one of the things That happens when you are just go go go all the time, lots of ready, fire, aim.
But I’m grateful to have it now, because finding my soap and what not was a regular problem for me. Now I know exactly where it is, assuming the critters don’t decide it’s a meal. I’m going to walk down to the creek in the morning to see if my container has been disturbed.
Hopefully not. 🤞
I noticed today that it looks like somebody carved off the Civic emblem on the rear of my Honda Civic. I don’t remember it missing.
But it’s certainly not there now.
I guess that’s fair retribution for when I was 8 years old, or whatever I was, and I stole the emblems and hood ornaments off of probably somewhere between 20 and 40 cars. 😅
Nothing like getting threatened with being charged with grand theft auto when you’re 8 years old. 🙃
I spent some time cleaning out Rover a little bit. I try to be careful to not leave food or crumbs or what not lying anywhere after I eat because I don’t want to attract bugs and critters. I do need to vacuum a bit, though.
I had another “duh” moment. You know how I was concerned about my AC having gone out in my Civic?
Well, there was a perfectly good explanation for it.
Little me accidentally bumped the temperature setting knob somehow while reaching over to look for/grab something.
Nothing wrong with the AC. I had just accidentally moved the knob. 😅🙃
Didn’t even dawn on me to look at the knob because I generally keep it on max cool.
So I turned my AC on today driving where I was going, and it was blowing such cold air that I actually had to change the way I was holding the steering wheel to keep my fingers a little further away from the vents. 😁
🎉
So I’m grateful for that.
I filled up my water bottles at the hydrant over by the chickens. I grabbed my mail from Liz’s, organized her stack of mail for her, as she’s got a male slot for everybody that’s not her, took some of that mail over to Stevie cuz some of it was his and his brothers, and took one of the letters over to Steve because one was his. While I was there, I also picked up one that was for me that had gone to his house.
I stopped off at my neighbor’s house to see how he was doing and to see if he maybe he had a tire for the lawn mower, since I have that one that’s just completely useless now. He wasn’t there, so I sent him a message just asking how he and his wife are doing. They’ve been going through some really rough stuff.
Stopped off at Pea Ridge tire and dropped off my lawn mower wheel. They’re going to go ahead and order a tire and put it on for me, should be ready in the morning.
Then I went to AutoZone to try and take care of some refund issues. As I was pulling in, I saw that there was a new mobile mechanic, his truck and trailer in the parking lot. Immediately As I walked in, one of the workers at the commercial desk pointed him to me, saying I was the one who could show him how to use the AutoZone pro app.
His name is William, and he runs H&H Auto Repair (which stands for honest and humble).
He seemed like a really nice guy, seemed like somebody who wants to take care of his customers, so that’s good. It was in meeting him that my day got derailed. 😅
I think I ended up talking to him for like 3 hours about mobile mechanics, everything from stories to business stuff, but I think mostly business stuff. As a new guy starting a business who’s never done it before, there’s a lot he doesn’t know, and he’s making mistakes, similar to ones that I made when I was getting started. Fortunately for him, he’s only been going for 2 months, and fortunately, I was able to teach him some things that are going to be important for him.
Doesn’t really help me much in selling my business, helping another guy get started and be successful, haha, but… whatever. I haven’t even tried to sell the business, and I don’t know that I’m even going to.
I’m probably just going to walk away.
Headed over to the bank after that to see if I could get that fee reversed from last year for the big cash deposit that I did when I was in Utah.
Turned out to be a fee that he needed the bank manager to overrule, so he basically said for me to watch my bank account, and if money goes back in, then the fee reversal was approved, and if not, then it wasn’t.
Apparently, on business accounts, there’s a fee of $2.50 for every $1,000 worth of cash that you deposit.
😶
Nutty.
Guess I won’t be depositing cash anytime soon. What a ridiculous fee.
From there I went over to Tractor Supply and bought some more zerks and some more grease, in the hopes that The zerks have the right thread pitch. 🤞
From there it was on to my mom’s place, where I did a load of laundry, helped her orient her starlink dish for optimal speed, though it didn’t seem to help any, And spent a good long time fighting with electronic devices trying to just transfer picture and video files from my phone to her external drive. We’re getting ready to take a trip like last year’s, assuming that it all goes through, And I still hadn’t ever gotten her the pictures from last year’s trip, so that’s what we spent time moving over.
I’ve failed every single time I’ve tried to get pictures off my phone onto my computer. It’s still frustrating.
Error messages in the middle of transfers, Windows file Explorer completely puking and closing, and I don’t know if the problem was with my phone or with Windows not being able to handle the amount of data coming through or what it is. All I know is that every single time that I try and take my files off my phone, it doesn’t matter which computer or device it’s going to, it’s an absolute nightmare.
I suppose it could be the phone.
And I don’t even trust what’s come off because when I go back and look at my photos on my phone versus what shows up in file Explorer to transfer, there are photos that are missing, photos that show up in my phone that don’t show up in the transfer as even options to transfer over.
One of the ones that doesn’t even show up is the only photo I have of myself and my friend Chris and his wife on their wedding day.
Kind of an important photo.
Now if I want to not lose any more photos like that, I have to go one by one through every single freaking photo to make sure that it’s transferred.
😠
It’s supposed to be so simple. You’re supposed to just connect the cable, select the files to move over, and move the files over.
But no.
I still haven’t even been able to get my New Zealand pictures off. Same problem. Every single time I try, it totally pukes. That was actually something during our last trip that I tried to do, going to my brother Richard’s house in Utah to try and figure out how to get my pictures transferred over. But it was just problem after problem.
Anyway, we finally got everything transferred over from the trip that my mom and I took together last year, at least everything that showed up in file Explorer to transfer over. I still have to figure out how many files are on my computer that didn’t even show up in file Explorer to transfer over. I know that one for my friend’s wedding showed up the very first time I connected my phone to my mom’s computer, but then it burped, and that particular photo never showed up again as even an option to transfer over.
Either Windows couldn’t read it, or my phone couldn’t send it, or something…
My mom made us dinner, which I’m grateful for. I’ve been doing well with being back on my vegan, no sugar, no junk food diet. So that’s a win.
Don’t think I swore at all today. So that’s a win.
I’ve been winning the porn battle as well. That’s a big win.
I’ve been losing the battle with sports news and regular news and YouTube and whatnot.
I’m struggling with the god stuff. I thought I was at a certain point in the cycle, but… emotionally, I’m just exhausted. I completely stalled out. Just being alive takes so much mental and emotional energy for me right now.
I want to have more to give than I have to give right now. Maybe I have more than I think I do, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it.
I wish I were stronger.
My mom and I talked for a long time on her front porch about where I’m at. There’s so much emotional pain inside of me. So much frustration. So much anger. So much fear. So much hurt.
So much to work through…
I’m grateful that I’m at a place in my life where I can take the time to work through it.
That’s next up on my list after I sell more of my stuff–after I simplify even more.
After chatting with my mom, I headed home. Tomorrow will be 2 months that I’ve lived down here by the creek. Funny, the hottest part of the year.
But here I am surviving the brutal summer.
Anyway, going to call that good for today. I’m not doing very well. But I’m… moving forward. I never stopped moving forward.
I just don’t know if I’m getting anywhere.
Love and hugs.
~ stephen
Lift the World 