I don't know if I have it. I'm just exhausted. Life exhausted. Maybe the cycle actually does end here because there's just nothing left of me to really do anything other than just physically exist. I'm just... exhausted. Don't really have anything to say today. Another struggling, painful night. Spine and nerve issues, as always. … Continue reading 2024-08-19 (Monday) — Bushing Fix

It's coming up on 11:00... p.m... I've spent a pretty good chunk of the day today going back... back over old things that I've written... old conversations that I've had... old experiences that I felt like I had with God... I'm reminded of the cycle that I often have gone through over the last many … Continue reading 2024-08-18 (Sunday) — The Cycle

Loooong night. Tossed and turned. Pain and discomfort. The van was facing mostly the right way, but unfortunately, still on a bit of an angle. 😕 And for whatever reason, I woke up depressed and feeling like maybe I'd done something wrong? Bad hacker? Sorry. 😞 It was really weird to have my emotional state … Continue reading 2024-08-17 (Saturday) — Bedrock

Gosh, it just keeps coming. 😕 But I will get to that. Slept decently well last night. That was nice. I think the angle was slightly off on my bed, so there was a little bit of irritation in my back, but not too much. Woke up later started listening to rules for radicals again … Continue reading 2024-08-16 (Friday) — Happily Under Skilled

Talk about a lot of opposition to being able to maintain the commitments I just made... Today was another doozy. 😶 I woke up about 3:00 in the morning with my migraine back but having switched sides of my head. I ate a banana and some crackers and drank some soy milk, so I could … Continue reading 2024-08-15 (Thursday) — Everything Breaking 😅

I'm minorly panicking. It's been a really crappy day today, and usually I would just drown my sorrows In front of my phone screen, try and get lost in something, try and ignore... forget... whatever was needed. But I said I wasn't going to do that anymore. It's only 8:10 at night. I've had a … Continue reading 2024-08-14 (Wednesday) — Cottonmouth Migraine

Not much to write today. I sat in my van until... Gosh, I think it was after 5 :00 p.m.. It rained in the morning, and the wind was strong enough that I decided to move Rover away from the trees, so as not to be the recipient of falling branches should any fall. My … Continue reading 2024-08-13 (Tuesday) — Winds of Change

I've been having a harder time remembering what day it is today. It keeps feeling like Sunday, but then I realize it's Monday and the whole world is running around doing their thing, and I'm just... sitting here in Rover's driver's seat with everything at a standstill. Lots of thinking this morning (it's just now … Continue reading 2024-08-12 (Monday) — Coming Together?

(work on the 12th) There's not much to say about today. It was a beautiful day, cloudy pretty much all day. A lot cooler than it usually is for summertime. I think maybe high 70s as a high. And... I was basically not functional today. 😅 I think I was just completely worn out, emotionally … Continue reading 2024-08-11 (Sunday) — Van Day

(written on the 11th) I forgot to mention that last night I listed a bunch of stuff for sale on Marketplace--both chainsaws from The failed Tree Service business, my 2010 E350 van, the generator that came out of Rover, and the dog House loaf that I forgot to put back in before taking it to … Continue reading 2024-08-10 (Saturday) — 😩