(written on the 16th)
Didn’t work very much today either. 😅
I think I only start at 11:00 questions, and most of them didn’t get finished because there were some black-hole questions.
I still haven’t figured out how to comfortably deal with black-hole questions.
JustAnswer is terrible at clearly communicating expect expectations with their customers. An absolutely massive portion of the people who I work with think we’re a completely different company. I think we’re the dmv, or a toll company, or a rental car company, or Amazon… It’s… nutty.
And the people who actually know who we are, a massive chunk of those people don’t even realize what they are paying. The messaging on the site is so confusing and misleading that most people seem to think they’re only paying a dollar or $5 to speak to the expert, and that that dollar or $5 is completely refundable.
Very few people seem to realize that the dollar or $5 is a joint fee, and then they are paying a monthly membership fee on top of that.
Why is it confusing? Well, because the monthly portion of the membership is in small letters at the top of the checkout page, and people don’t pay attention to the total.
I think it’s really crappy business, so I regularly try and make sure my customers understand what they’ve purchased, and I regularly have people saying that we are a scam.
I don’t blame them for thinking that. I remember being frustrated when I first purchased a question on justanswer.com way back years and years ago.
I did realize it’s immense value for my own personal situation, which is why I’ve paid to have the membership every single month for something like the last six or seven years.
I still pay for it every month. 🙃
But for people in different circumstances, people using it just as a one-off, it’s marketing is pretty deceptive, in my opinion.
I sort of feel like a whistleblower inside the company alerting customers. It’s a great service if you understand what you’re buying. But a massive number of people neither understand what they are buying, nor how much they are paying, which is ridiculous.
Anyway, all that to say that those black hole questions are hard because JustAnswer doesn’t set an expectation with the customer is what a reasonable question is before it’s considered a premium question. So customers pay their price, and then we as experts have to deliver the bad news that, once the question gets to a certain point of complexity or time duration, it’s not reasonable to continue any further without upgrading it to a premium question because, theoretically, we could just go on and on and on and on for hours and hours and hours on the same question and only get paid to grand total of $16.
With my chat customers, the very first message I send them is an explanation that I might be working with several people at the same time, so I might not be able to get back to them immediately, and my second point is that a basic question takes about 10 or 15 minutes, and if it’s going to be longer than that, it’s going to be considered a premium service that will cost more money.
But I haven’t been able to do that with phone customers yet. JustAnswer builds an additional compensation for us for phone calls. If it’s over 10 minutes, then I get $24 for that phone call, but phone calls can take a good long time.
And often the people need more help after we get off the phone itself. So I’ve started sending them the same message that I send the chat people, but I don’t send it until I’m off the phone with them.
I just wish JustAnswer could be clear in their communication and set proper expectations.
Anyway, so I didn’t do that much work yesterday. And I only did my weightlifting part of my exercise. I think I spent a grand total of like 2 minutes on a treadmill waiting for a guy who I think used the same machine without leaving for maybe 40 minutes?
It was the last machine I needed to use for the day, and so I sat and waited…
And waited…
And waited…
Honestly, I have no idea how long he was there, but he was doing some sort of exercise routine where he was going to what appeared to be complete failure.
So it was set after set after set after set after set with rests in between every single one.
I finally gave up waiting and headed over to the treadmill just to sort of keep my body warm / burn some calories / whatever else, and he finally finished.
I didn’t have the mental strength today to do the cardio. Fortunately, I’ve already done 5 days worth, and that’s the normal recommended amount, and I figured I’d be spending the next two days on the hill, which means I would be doing exercise as I worked outside.
That was my rationalization at least.
In reality, those types of rationalizations generally lead to a cessation of the habit.
😬
I loathe the cardio portion of my workout. I don’t mind the weights at all. In fact, I actually like lifting weights. The duration of a given exercise is short. It’s challenging. I feel the swelling of the muscles so it makes me feel like I’m actually doing something productive.
But cardio… It’s just misery. 😅
The prospect of needing to shower is also a little bit daunting because it’s a little more complicated because I don’t want to spend money on a laundromat, nor do I want to mooch off of other people and their generosity when I perfectly well have the funds to go to a laundromat and don’t need anyone else’s generosity, so I feel like a mooch if I let other people offer me their washer and dryer because it feels… I don’t know what the word is… Like I’m not willing to take responsibility for my own choices?
And it’s important to me to take responsibility and to live with the consequences of my own choices. I don’t feel like I should be given a soft landing when my choices, that are completely my choices without any other pressure than because that’s how I’ve decided I’m going to do things, have me in the positions that I’m in.
I choose to live in my van. Therefore I don’t have a washer and dryer. I choose not to spend money at laundromats because I think it’s just crazy expensive, so I use my clothes as washcloths, which takes time, and makes showering a bit of an ordeal instead of an enjoyable experience.
Which… Increases the likelihood that I’m going to be annoyed by the prospect of doing cardio because getting super nasty sweaty means taking a shower which means the physical discomfort of being out of breath and super sweaty for 30 to 45 minutes and then the annoyance of how long it takes to rinse out and ring out my clothes and then hang them up to dry and what not.
First world problems I’m absolutely privileged to have.
But anyway, so the prospect of needing to clean my clothes afterwards is a little bit of a deterrent, but just the out of breath feeling and the massive sweatiness is the main thing.
If I’m pushing myself with my cardio, which is important to me, it doesn’t seem to matter what I pair with it to try and help myself through the exercise: I can be listening to books, watching movies, working, surfing the internet, whatever.
If I’m doing something that makes me think, then that’s not going to help at all. Movies and TV and YouTube stuff are definitely the best, but despite the fact that I spend so much time in front of them, I don’t respect myself when I do that because I don’t want movies and TV to be part of my life.
(YouTube is a little different, because much of the time I am watching youtube, I’m actually learning things and not wasting time)
I haven’t wanted them to be part of my life since that massive change of heart and perspective that I had in the summer of 2009.
For anyone who reads my blog and watches me right about all this time I waste in front of my phone screen watching movies and tv, and then they invite me to join them, and I decline, and wonder why I decline…
Well, it’s because my underlying desire and hope for myself is that I will stop watching TV and movies–permanently.
And if I go watch a movie with somebody or TV or something with somebody and then get back on the wagon, so to speak, then I keep having to go back and say sorry I don’t do that anymore again.
It’s just easier to have my personal failings with regard to my personal goals in my private life, so I don’t have to keep bouncing back and forth in my public life as well.
Anyway, I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s what happens. It’s embarrassing enough to bounce back and forth over and over and over again myself, within my own heart and mind. It’s even more embarrassing, I just feel ridiculous honestly, in front of other people.
Anyway, so… 11 questions was the grand total for yesterday. I didn’t try very hard at all. I think probably half or more of the questions were started while I was in the gym.
I went and got my power station charged up. Did a little more working… spent some time organizing my van, moving things I’ve been tripping over into different spaces.
It’s actually fairly surprising how much space I have in here. How much space that’s empty behind things that are set up. So I managed to store a bunch of things that I’ve been tripping over in those spaces without feeling any additional crowding whatsoever. It just feels more open because the spaces that are filled were spaces that were unseen.
🥳
I like not having a lot of stuff.
I’m debating on whether or not I’m going to sell my acoustic electric guitar. I don’t ever play it. The only time even in the recent past that I’ve played my guitar in any meaningful situation was in Canada with that woman that I met where we played music for a decent chunk of the night.
I loved that, and that’s honestly the reason I’ve been holding on to this acoustic electric guitar.
[sigh]
I was at the Pea Ridge city park for probably a few hours while I was working and charging my power station and organizing Rover.
From there, it was the Pea Ridge Walmart neighborhood market, using the bathroom and buying a bag of frozen blueberries in order to use up all the change that I had scraped out of my cup holders and whatnot. 🙃
Seems funny to me that we even have coins anymore in today’s modern economy. Most of money is plastic cards and digital transacting these days. Cash seems to be going the way of all the earth, so to speak.
I imagine, though I don’t know, that most people would find having coins lying around to be a bit of an annoyance because they never use them, so they just sort of sit there.
Or that might just meet the part of my own brain that doesn’t like things that are not being used taking up real estate in my physical or mental space. 🙃
Been spending a fair amount of time trying to learn about the things that are going on politically right now.
The more that I learn, the more that I dig in to what supposed news outlets are saying, the more I solidify my perspective that I don’t trust almost anything that comes from news outlets or politicians anywhere.
That doesn’t mean there isn’t truth being told, but it’s absolutely mind-boggling how much dishonesty there is, how much deception, how much slander, how much spin, how much taken out of context.
I’m angry with what I believe left-wing media and politicians have done and continue to do to spread fear and hatred and promote racism and bigotry on an absolutely enormous scale.
And I’m afraid the center-left, center, and right-leaning populace that have moved a step to the right, so enraged by the actions of the far left, are so hungry for change and want it so badly, that they are willing to allow constitutional overreach to fix the mess.
Both the left and the right, and even our legislature, have been giving more and more power to our executive for years and years and years.
Every time we blame our executive, or demand from the executive x change, regardless of party, for the happenings in our country that are not directly related to that office’s limited powers, we indirectly give that office those powers, uncodified, but expected.
Then when that executive takes unconstitutional action to accomplish the will of the people, the only people who cry foul are those on the opposing team, so to speak.
The more time goes on, especially in recent years, I’ve noticed, at least for my perspective, that it’s no longer about the principles and platform when it comes to party. It’s about whatever it takes for “my team to win.”
I’m ecstatic over the idea that we might actually be able to clean up our government, get rid of the fraud and abuse and ridiculously poor money management that I think pretty much 95% of the country agrees is happening.
But as I mentioned in my post yesterday, though I don’t know for sure the legality or illegality of all of the actions of our current president, I’m concerned enough just because of the attitude of the people, and because I hate executive orders in principle, similarly to how I very much dislike pardons in principle…
And seeing the people of the country, on both sides, clamoring for things, that in some cases are clearly unconstitutional, and in others are worrisome…
Gosh, I just have so much to learn.
I see all these people picketing and protesting, and I wonder where on Earth they get the time to understand and know if the foundation they’re standing on is true and solid.
I spend so much time learning and learning and learning, and it’s still hard to figure it out. I right here about my concerns from what I see, but I don’t yet feel solid in my understanding to be able to advocate political and legal positions yet.
I just don’t know. I know that I’m concerned, but I don’t know if that concern is warranted.
I think it is in some cases. I think it probably isn’t in others.
That’s why principles are so much more important, fundamental principles, in my opinion… Basic human decency.
Integrity, kindness, compassion, justice, freedom, love…
[sigh]
I think I’ve realized more and more lately how one of the main reasons why I’ve struggled to move forward with my nonprofit is that I don’t have anyone to work with.
I want to do what I want to do, but I don’t want to do it alone, and I think I always had this vision of doing it with my companion, so I’m… lost?
I don’t have a companion to do it with, so I have to find other people to do it with, but that doesn’t compute in my brain, because that… wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
So I have to come to grips with what is, and move forward with what is.
I don’t make much of any progress because when I look forward to the future, I don’t have anyone to be passionate with who’s actually there by my side working with me.
My family, spread out all over the country, are pretty much all fighting their own battles in their own lives that are challenging and pushing them to their limits just like my life is pushing me to mine.
It’s the same with my friends.
I don’t really have anybody to just go to and say, let’s change the world!
As arrogant or naive or foolish is that statement might be.
I still hunger for that.
I’m trying so hard to get over this hump. I’m almost there. I did finally kick the auto mechanics thing. But that was nearly a year ago.
It’s just crazy. So many things that I wanted to do so many years ago are now being done by others. Which is probably good for my pride. I wanted to be the one to do them, and now others are doing them, so I don’t get to say that I’m the leader, which the prideful part of me wants.
The reality is that it’s more important, if what I really care about is others, is that the things that I wanted to do are getting done, whether it’s by me or someone else, it doesn’t matter, as long as the good things are getting done and more people are doing them.
I think my dream would be to be able to start an organization that was able to pay well enough where I could hire family and friends to work in that organization to help change the world if they were interested in participating doing the kinds of things that I want to do.
[sigh]
I’m fighting. I lose the battles more often than I win the battles, but the battles that I win seem to be big enough that there is a steady, albeit extremely slow, progress toward my ultimate goals.
Chatted with one of my brothers via text for a while, mostly about political things.
The world is changing so quickly. Technology is going to transform so much of this world in the next handful of years that the upheaval is going to be beyond anything I think the history of this world has ever seen, at least on a global scale.
I think that’s what makes the challenges that much more challenging for my perspective these days. Looking forward to the future and what technology is doing and will be doing in the future and trying to figure out how to prepare for it.
What many in the tech industry feared most is happening right now. The development of AI needed to be slow and steady and careful because of how dangerous it is, but instead, we have a massive AI arms race. It’s going at breakneck speed, and I think if we had the direction that we are heading, the Sci-Fi movies are not far off.
There will come a point in time where machine is smarter and more capable than humanity as a general rule and is no longer a tool of humanity but a self-directed entity, each one separately, coexisting together, and at that point, I think it’s only a matter of time before a war breaks out between machine and humanity.
Call me crazy.
I’ve spent… let’s just say more than a little time learning about AI and what’s going on with it.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m right. Hopefully I’m not. I would rather not be right. I would love to see the best of what I can do without the worst of what it’s capable of doing, without people and companies and countries using it to destroy one another, and without the technology itself over running and eventually, eliminating humanity.
End rants.
Headed over to the hill, per my normal Saturday night and Sunday night routine of staying at Haven Hill to end the old week and start the new week.
Lots of time on YouTube, learning…
We’ll get there. I just have to figure out how to have energy and passion enough to overcome the “it’s not worth trying anyway,” internal wet blanket that suffocates my passions and drive.
Each time I write in this journal is a little success in that direction.
Big cold front is coming. Snow is on the ground.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 