(Written February 28th and March 1st)
I’m tired.
Yesterday morning, while I was at Walmart, I got a message from somebody interested in my Komatsu mini excavator.
He seemed really interested, and asked if I would be willing to deliver it to Galena, Kansas, and his offer was such that I was willing to deliver, provided he give me a$100 non-refundable deposit.
So I headed over to Haven Hill after running some errands inside Walmart, and then I spent the entire rest of the day trying to find the parts for the excavator, as it’s been partially disassembled for a little while, the bucket off, at least, because I was trying to do all the painting work.
But I’ve had everything kicking around in different places, that it took me a while to find everything. I unloaded a whole crap ton of stuff from my dump trailer, only to find in the end that I had put most of the important parts inside my truck.
I wanted to make sure that the excavator was in as good of condition as I could for him, at least reasonably. He was wanting to use it this weekend, so I told him that I would bring it over to him ready to roll off and go to work.
So I worked and worked and worked to put everything back together, trying to find the parts, trying to get everything installed. It was one of those days where it just feels like everything fights you every step of the way, so it was pretty frustrating.
Bolts missing. Then damage needing to be repaired. grease fittings being broken and not accepting grease.
I finally gave up as it was getting dark, my personal possessions that I’ve had stored in my dump trailer scattered around the field, parts and tools scattered by the mini excavator, but it was getting dark, and the chance of rain was just about non-existent, so I called it a night, told the guy that I wasn’t going to be able to bring it today, and asked if it was okay if I brought it tomorrow.
He said yes, no problem, and he sent me $100 deposit, so that was promising.
So I got up this morning and spent the morning working again to try and get the excavator ready to go. I worked and worked and worked, fighting roadblocks and whatnot until finally about 3:00, I was able to get it loaded up onto my trailer and ready to go.
I told him I was going to have it ready to be used, so I stopped off at the gas station and filled the tank with diesel fuel, spent $83 on hydraulic fluid because it was low on hydraulic fluid, and then very slowly and carefully dragged my trailer with a mini excavator from Haven Hill to galena, kansas, using my poor, tired, 2003 Silverado 5.3.
Definitely way more weight than that poor little truck should be carrying, but I was gratefully able to make it all the way there, and the guy buying it didn’t even bother to test it, he just handed me $15,000 in cash, and I showed him around some of the issues, we rode out a bill of sale, and we were done!
So nice to have that one sold.
Now the only other one that I’m actually concerned about really is the skid steer. I figured I was going to take a bath on the mini excavator, and I actually didn’t. Sure, I lost money, but I didn’t take a bath. 🥳
I actually got what I was hoping to get out of it. 🥳
The drive home was much easier on my poor little truck–a good 7,000 lbs lighter. 🙃
I got back shortly before dark, and called it a day, heading up to the little place where I’ve been parking lately between Jim’s shop and the Big Barn.
Gratitude:
- I’m grateful to have that many excavator sold. That’s a load off, even though I don’t really notice the reduction in stress. It’s still a load off even though I don’t feel it, if that makes sense.
- I’m grateful that though I spelled out all sorts of issues, and kept running into more as I was getting it ready to deliver, each time I sent him a photo or told him something that was an issue with it that I hadn’t originally had in the ad, he didn’t bat an eyelash and was just like yeah, no worries. Hopefully, it’s not counterfeit cash. 🙃
- I’m grateful the truck made it all the way there and back without any issues. No transmission slipping, no overheating, no issues whatsoever. 🥳
- I’m grateful that gas is cheaper in missouri. I was able to get it for I think almost 20 cents cheaper a gallon than it is in arkansas. Arkansas is usually one of the cheapest states in the nation for gas, but the gas stations in Southwest Missouri are often cheaper by a dime or two or three.
- I’m grateful that downloading over Wi-Fi doesn’t count against my internet cell data. 🙃
Success:
- Though it was hard, I spelled out matter of factly and point blankly, if that’s even a phrase, everything that was wrong with the excavator, figuring he would probably decide not to buy it, but he did anyway not caring that it wasn’t perfect.
Improvement:
- Need to figure out how to stop my potty mouth. It’s pretty awful.
- And I had some toddler meltdowns in the field.
On a different note, I don’t know what to think… A good while back when I was super stressed out about getting my equipment ready to sell, and trying to clean up the excavator and sand down the rust and paint it and make it look pretty to get maximum dollar out of it, I had this little feeling that said something to the effect of, you’re not going to get any more out of it by painting it. Just sell it as it is.
I’ve thought about that periodically over the last several months, I think, and I remembered again as I prepared to sell and then sold it.
I don’t think I would have gotten any more out of it had I waited to sell it until after painting it. This guy was the kind of person who was like I don’t care what it looks like, here’s money, I just need an excavator that works for this job.
These kinds of experiences hit my heart pretty hard.
I’m starting to cry as I dictate this. I think about how many of these experiences I’ve had that have turned out exactly as I felt, this one and the VW being two of the most recent.
Yeah, this was one of those feelings that I would say was a “god” feeling, so to speak.
And it hits my heart so hard because I think back on the thing that I wanted most that was a god feeling, more than a god feeling–the most powerful God feeling I think I’ve ever had.
Why do all these turn out as I felt but that one didn’t?
The thought that comes most readily to mind is that I wasn’t good enough in some way, that maybe God was saving me (and/or others) from a lot of pain because maybe I was going to be an awful dad and/or an awful husband.
😞
It’s hard not to go there.
The heart hurts.
But the sun will rise again tomorrow, and whatever will happen will happen.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 