Slept badly again. Unhappy dream as well.
Exhausted when I finally got up, which I think was actually after 10.
Unfortunately, all the ceiling efforts that I did to stop the water leak around my windshield failed.
Ugh.
Where is it coming in? I probably have to take off the whole trim piece that covers the attachment site where the top is attached to the rest of the van.
Not sure I want to do that.
Hmmm…
Headed into Rogers today, taking three tires to recycling place, which was nice because then I had them out of my way in the van. They were truck-sized tires, so they certainly take up quite a bit of space.
Nice to have the space back.
Did some grocery shopping at the neighborhood market in Rogers. Spent probably two or three hours inside Rover at the neighborhood market. Don’t remember exactly why. Did a little bit of working.
I remember getting mad at something… 😅
One to the gym for the first time since last week. Didn’t lift any weights, but I did spend something like an hour and 15 minutes on the treadmill, just doing online errands. Didn’t push myself. Have been too tired to push myself, not wanting to injure myself with whatever it is that’s going on with my body right now.
Got a shower for the first time in a good little while, looking in the mirror as well and… ugh… disappointed in myself for letting myself go that much.
I’m used to looking in the mirror and seeing somebody who’s body looks like it’s in shape, not looking in the mirror and seeing somebody whose body looks like he’s strong underneath all the fat. 😅
And I think my metabolism might have finally hit a bit of a wall. Usually, it’s a lot easier for me to lose weight. If I let myself go a little bit, then give me just a few weeks, and I’m right back where I want to be.
That’s definitely not happening this time. Though, this is also the first time in my life that I haven’t been able to just dump the crap food and get myself together.
Although there was a bit of a breakthrough today, I think. Well at the grocery store, I was dead set determined to not buy crap. So maybe… Just maybe… The food discipline will get back to where it’s supposed to be.
🤞
I don’t like seeing myself in the mirror.
I’m not down on myself about it in any meaningful way, just… sort of surprised and disappointed?
The window of body types that I’m attracted to, so to speak, is pretty darn narrow, though I’ve tried to widen it. But one thing’s for certain, I had better at least live up to what I would expect from someone else, and I certainly haven’t been.
Anyway, nice to get a shower. Nice to be back in the gym, even if I’m not lifting.
Didn’t get very much done with my online mechanicking today. Continues to be slow.
Swung by Jim and Steph’s house to watch the BYU basketball game. Nail biter. BYU one, which makes it a bit more fun.
Gratitude:
- I’m grateful that I was able to get back to the gym today.
- I’m grateful that I was able to get answers to some of the people on JustAnswer who had questions that I wasn’t thrilled to be getting the answers to.
- Ungrateful to be feeling better than I was earlier today. I’m not sure where all the exhaustion is coming from, but I’ve been fighting off migraines and fighting off exhaustion for the last 5 or 6 days now, I think. Really struggling to get ahead, so being a little further away from the edge later in the day feels pretty nice. Though as I write that, I can feel the migraine wanting to push its way through my right eye. 😅
- I’m grateful to have a dry place to be in the rain.
- I’m grateful to have warm clothes and pretty much everything I could need available to me.
Success:
- It was a success to be at the grocery store, twice today, and walk away without buying junk. I did buy more solid foods today, wondering if maybe part of my lack of energy is the smoothie move. So I ate some more substantial stuff today and bought some more substantial stuff, but no junk.
Improvement:
- Language, Stephen. Language.
Love and hugs.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 