(written on the 18th)
So yeah, it rained, and it snowed a very little bit. When the morning came, I… couldn’t really get myself to do anything but just sit in the van and stare at my phone watching YouTube videos.
I didn’t even work. I just… wasted my precious life.
Cory finally messaged me sometime around 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon, I think, asking if I was okay since I hadn’t emerged for even a moment from my van.
When he came out to take out the garbage cans, and those of his neighbors, I finally crawled out and said hi.
I wasn’t in a really bad place. I wasn’t depressed. I just… Couldn’t really get myself to do anything.
Oddly, that seemed to actually work out well for Cory, as he had had a bit of a rough morning himself, and I might have made things more complicated had I emerged earlier.
I chatted with him for a while, and then I decided to head out, making my way west across the valley, thinking to visit my brother richard.
He had work to do for his job, because he had had a long lunch and needed to get back to fulfill his responsibilities, so he was going to be working late, so I went to the neighborhood market in herriman and ate popsicles in the parking lot 😅, chatted with one of my sisters and brother-in-law for a while, and then headed over and hung out with my brother, chatting with him while he did his tri-weekly 2 hour workout, and then continuing to chat for another couple of hours afterward.
My other brother invited me to go watch his youngest daughter in her play, fiddler on the roof.
The hesitation that I had was that my niece attends a school I used to teach at, and because of some things that happened many years ago, for me to set foot on campus, I have to get permission from the head of the school.
I’ve gotten permission at least once in years past, but I didn’t end up going. I went ahead and requested permission again, and I guess we’ll see how that goes.
I’m a little nervous.
Going to stay the night in front of Richard’s house tonight, as he and my oldest brother and I are going to go out for lunch tomorrow. I figured I would probably work in the morning while my one brother works, and then we could go over together.
Lots of stuff on my mind.
Gratitude:
- I’m grateful that my friend Cory was really understanding of my staying hidden away in my van.
- I’m grateful to my sister for calling and for the relationship that I have with her.
- I’m grateful to be able to be there for people when they’re having a hard time. I’ve had multiple opportunities since I’ve been in Utah again to be there for people who are struggling.
- I’m grateful that Rover keeps on going and going. At some point in time, I will have to lay him to rest, and I know that won’t likely be a very fun circumstance, because it probably means that I’ll be broken down somewhere with most of what I own with me, which will likely be a bit of a challenge to sort through when it happens, but in the meantime, I’m grateful to have this ruling home that keeps working for me.
- I’m grateful for the rain. I love the sound of rain… Supposed to snow tonight.
Success:
- I kind of want to get rid of this part of my daily journal because it feels like a reminder that I’m not making much of any progress in the areas that are important to me. But I am making some here and there, so… That’s something.
Improvement:
- I want to talk less and listen more.
Loves.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 