(written on June 1st)
Well, after a late night, getting to bed somewhere around 1:40 a.m., my body woke me up bright and early at just after 6:15, I think it was.
🙃
Not sure what’s going on.
But I’ve always wanted to need less sleep, so that I could do more, so maybe this is an opportunity. 😊
Or maybe God’s trying to help me get back on my early-to-bed-early-to-raise schedule, and not my late-to-bed schedule. 😆
Anyway, since no one else is up, I did some morning routine things, and then I spent some time replacing the leaking coolant temperature sensor in my sister’s Jetta.
Then I cleaned the alternator mounting bolts and bolt holes of their corrosion on Hans’ F250 in preparation for his replacing the alternator when he got up.
Had a great conversation with the Big Guy. 🥰
Started answering work questions, last day of the month. I’d already meet my absolute monthly minimum income (which I decided just a few days ago, I think 🙃)
Both Heather and Hans slept in a good bit, which was good for them, I think. 🤞 Not enough rest during the week.
When Heather came out, we spent the next maybe hour or two talking and then going over septic stuff for the house.
I did some more working, answering a handful of questions today. I spent a fair amount of time trying to clean up the foundation footings from concrete overspill. There was a section where the foam blocks blew out, so there was this large slab of concrete covering the footing and the gravel that needed to be busted up, so I spent a good long time busting it up, accidentally breaking a small section of the form-a-drain in the process from the weight of the concrete and the shockwave of hitting it with a large sledgehammer.
😬
After that break, I spent maybe a couple of hours with a hammer and chisel trying to chip away at the leftover slab until it was no longer touching the form-a-drain.
Then it was back to the sledgehammer.
Heather and Hans went to the evening session of Stake Conference, a sort of area conference for those who don’t know where lots of congregations in the geographic area (more than half the state of South Dakota, part of Nebraska, and even part of North Dakota, I think. 😶
I stressed out a fair bit about having broken the form-a-drain, just feeling crappy I damaged the build that’s already been so challenging.
The neighbor, who has a lot more experience than I do, said it wasn’t much to worry about, just patch and move on, and after I sent photos and a summary of what happened to Heather and Hans, they were more worried about me than the house. 🥰
Unfortunately, I let myself get pretty down. Fortunately, both Cory and Heather helped me get my focus back on positive, uplifting things, and that was good.
I’m going to strive to not let my eyes wander off into Dreamland until I’ve gone to great effort to see the blessings in everything that day, even the difficult blessings.
I shared scriptures back and forth with my sister Heather for a while, which was a really big help, and then, feeling like I was weaker than I wanted to be (at resisting temptations to waste my life in any number of addictions and amusements that don’t fit in the life I personally want), I went to bed.
🙃
Though it started with beauty and light, today was a hard day to keep that light.
Lots of thoughts…
I miss the temple. 🕍
One of my favorite times of my whole life was serving as an ordinance worker in the Kansas City Temple. I love that temple. 🥰
It’s one of my favorites, if not my favorite.
I’m going to see if I can get a temple recommend via virtual interviews with my Arkansas peeps.
🤞
What else is bouncing around this brain?
One of my biggest desires for life is being able to empathize as much as possible with people, but it’s so easy to forget. Memories of pain and struggle fade. Memories just fade in general.
I hope I can find ways to remember, but if not, I hope the soul softening that can come with the struggle doesn’t fade. 🤞
Changing subjects… I’ve found myself wondering a bit why the Lord has done so much for me so quickly. Why so much change of heart and perspective all at once.
I mean, I’m grateful. 🙏 It’s truly been wonderful, a precious gift. But so much change at once?
On Tuesday, I noticed that my attachment to my money had sort of melted away. It’s God’s money, so He can use it however He wants. If He wants me to give it away, great. If He wants me to keep it, great.
“Foxes have holes…”
I’m grateful. 🙏
It just feels like He’s supercharging my soul, and… it’s surprising me. I’m not even two months removed from finally letting go of my hurt and fear and following my longing to be back with Him.
And He’s opening my heart up, restoring who I am, and adding so much more. 🥰
🙏
I hope this is a door and not a window, but I’ll be grateful either way. 🥰
Gratitude:
- I’m grateful for the wonderful conversation I had with the Big Guy.
- I’m grateful to be able to fight off the negative and return to the positive.
- I’m grateful for my mom’s example of gratitude that I’m starting to feel like I’m getting closer to emulating.
- I’m grateful for my loved ones who work to lift me when I’m low. 🙏😊
- I’m grateful to have slid into Dreamland in a much better place thanks to all the support. 🎉
Success:
- Fought back against the heavy negative.
Improvement:
- Don’t dwell on negatives.
We’ve got this. 💪
Lift the world.
Bring it on.
~ stephen
Lift the World 