Been waking up a lot at nights. Don’t know what the deal is, but I think I’m waking up more than usual. I’ve always been a light sleeper and woken up a lot at night, but it just seems like it’s been… more frequent.
It probably didn’t help that I couldn’t find my headphones last night, so I had to just use my phone speaker as my white noise instead of my headphones.
Got up for good somewhere around 7:30, I think, and wished my sister a good day at work.
My morning routine was pretty darn successful today, so that was nice.
I’m also hopeful that I was able to answer enough questions today to stave off being demoted. 🤞 I think I took 19 calls today.
Ate a big breakfast and a medium lunch.
I think I forgot to mention, but yesterday, I was able to get back in touch with another one of my core students that I taught in 9th grade. I don’t know if there will be anything more than just what was said yesterday, but it would be fun if there were.
Those kids, now 30 year olds 🙃, were my heart and my life. They meant the world to me.
Painful period of my life.
And I know some were told pretty bad things about me, though I don’t know which ones. So I’m a little hesitant because of that. I know one I’ve messaged had seen my message and didn’t reply. Two haven’t yet seen my messages, two have replied, and one… I can’t find on Facebook.
And I’m not going to message the girls. I think they’re mostly all married at this point, and reaching out, especially when so many bad things were spread about me after I left the school… just seems like more pain waiting to happen.
If some are still single, I might reach out, as there’s not really an appropriateness concern there.
We’ll see.
It’s hard. I pretty much just vanished from their lives, just one teacher of many, but they… It’s like time froze for me. I can still see myself back at the school. I can still picture them coming into class. I can still see their faces.
I don’t generally remember faces? but I can remember theirs. 🥺 Maybe that’s just because I’ve seen pictures of them since. I don’t know.
I miss them. They were the closest thing I’ve ever had to having my own kids.
Part of my heart was broken off and left there with them when I was let go.
And of course I want to be remembered fondly, and I am by at least one, I think, but I’m also pretty sure that some think very poorly of me.
That’s hard.
Anyway, here’s hoping for happy reunions someday.
But if not, I’ll still carry my sincere love and continual hopes of good things to come for each of them for the rest of my life.
😔
Mucked out the barn, noticed River was unhappy on his feet (right rear foot), so I scraped off the mud and poo buildup that was on them, but he was limping really badly. 😕 I didn’t know what more to do, so I didn’t do any more than that.
Dragged the poo around after it dried out a bit.
Went with Hans to the gun range and then to the bowling alley/restaurant/bar/casino for dinner.
Then I hung out with Heather and Hans for a bit. The air purifier came today, and I’m hopeful that maybe, somehow, it might help my sister’s asthma and help at last a little in getting some sleep.
I hope. I hope. I hope.
Headed back to JH Keith Park 9:45 to see if, by chance, my headphones were still there, and… they were! They’d slipped down through the bent-over tall grass, but I caught a glimpse of the adapter with my headphones, and there they were!
🥳
I also saw another bat, this one much bigger than the last, all spread out on the concrete. It must have fallen. It looked full size, to my ignorant eyes, but it was spread out, wings fully open, on the concrete. I tried to coax it away from the middle of the concrete, but I think I was just scaring it. I wanted to come back and take a picture with my phone, but I didn’t want to scare it more, so I just left it there on the concrete. Hopefully, it’ll be ok.
Gratitude:
- I’m grateful for cool nights.
- I’m grateful that my headphones were all there. 🙂
- I’m grateful I was able to answer a decent number of questions today.
- I’m grateful I have the means to buy dinner for others.
- Grateful for anti-inflammatories. I’ve fairly regularly, I think, been able to take the edge off with 800mg doses. I take some right before bed, generally, and I think that has helped me be to sleep a little more freely, instead of being stuck on nothing but my right side all night long.
Success:
- I’m giving my sincere and worthy effort, and that’s good enough for God, and I’m trying to be humble enough for it to be good enough for me as well.
- I continue to feel that drive, that hunger for humility.
Improvement:
- Started getting irritated with a couple of different questions today. Once at the customer for sort of going on and on, I think? And at least once when it proved to be much more challenging than I felt like it should have been to get the info I needed.
Thought of the Day:
“Service is not something we endure on this earth so we can earn the right to live in the celestial kingdom. Service is the very fiber of which an exalted life in the celestial kingdom is made.”
~ Marion G. Romney
Hand of God In My Life Today:
Sad, but I’m not thinking of anything right now that wouldn’t feel forced, so… I’m gonna leave it blank today.
Lift the world.
Bring it on. Break me; or help me break myself.
Please.
~ stephen
Lift the World 