(written on the 31st from notes taken previously, but written as though-ish it were the 27th)
Bleery-eyed, I got up in the 8 o’clock our, I believe. One of the big questions for the morning was going to be whether or not I was going to finger tighten the solar panels and drive away as is and risk having them fly off while driving down the road, or to climb on the roof after removing all the nuts and fasteners and whatnot and take them off.
I chose the former. 🙃
I was late getting out, so it was going to be a super quick bath, sort of jump in, jump out kind of thing, and I sent a little wish up to the Big Guy for there to not be anyone there, as that would slow things down for me when I was already running quite late.
Gratefully, there was no one there. 🎉
But even with no one there, I was still running quite late. In fact, I was so late that instead of changing all of my clothes, I just threw my church clothes on over my wet undergarments, sending up another hope that I could get to the building in time to partake of the sacrament.
Gratefully, once again, I got my wish. 😊
After church, I headed right back over to JH Keith Park to enjoy the spring and to just sort of be still. Given the time of year, though, I think I had better adjust my expectations, as people regularly file in and out, enjoying the Springs just like I am, so I spend most of my time chatting with other people.
I do enjoy chatting with other people, so that’s a great little past time, but it doesn’t quite fill the need of being able to be quiet and still and alone with my thoughts, so… I didn’t get that. 🙃
But Heather and Hans came by to say hello and to bring me a smoothie. 😁
And then they actually decided to come back and join me in the spring. Unfortunately, pretty much right as they showed up, a big cloud blocked the sun, and there wasn’t much wind, so that cloud blocked the Sun for a very very long time.
🙃
But it was really cool to have them both there. 🥰
While we were there, an older lady that both Hans and Heather know came by as well. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her there personally, but I am pretty sure I’ve seen her car there, and I guess she goes every single day, so I’m sure I’ll see her again.
She mentioned that there was a warmer spring than the one that we were in, and she goes down to the confluence of the spring that I always sit in and the warm spring that she goes to.
Hearing that the other spring was warmer, I decided to go walk down to it, and boy was there quite a difference!
I walked down the spring from the cold water until it reached the confluence with the warm water, and that first step into the warmer water felt like it was actually warm.
Reaching down and touching it with my hands, it was still definitely a Cool spring and not even a warm spring, but the difference between that one and the one that I’m usually in was significant enough to make it feel like it was warm.
Anyway, so I did some exploring up the creek a little bit and found a place where maybe in a portion of the creek along the side, there was a little 20 ft diameter section where the water was bubbling out of the ground in four different places. And it had banks on maybe 33% of the circle, and some higher bushes on one side as well in the middle of the water, so I thought to myself, maybe I can make my own little soaking pool in the warmer spring. 😊
Because of course, when Stephen sees running water, a dam must be built. 🙃
So I spent the next probably 2 hours or so building a little dam all around that area, raising the level of the water from probably ankle high to maybe shin high for now, clearing out a bunch of water-loving ferns and transplanting them to different places in an effort to conceal the little pool I was making to increase the odds of privacy.
Fun stuff. 😊
Oh! Something happened that was interesting to me while I was at the other, cooler springs. Recently, I’ve been thinking about going back to New Zealand. Of course, I’ve wanted to since I went to New Zealand way back in 2022, but I haven’t really seriously considered it until recently.
But the more I thought about it, the more I didn’t really feel like I could justify going. Logistically, didn’t seem to make much sense. It would be an added stress in some ways because I would have to figure out transportation again once I got to New Zealand and all that, and then I’d be alone for however long I was there, and there wasn’t really a need to go that far just to get the solitude that I want to be able to focus in on the things that are most important to me and try and get my head even more on top of things.
And with so much to do here in the states, and with my ability to just drive up to Canada or drive to some other state and just chill and relax and have my solitude pretty much whenever I want, it didn’t seem to make much sense to spend all that money going to New Zealand again.
So I had decided not to go, and I was totally fine with it. It wasn’t even really much of a disappointment. Just a decision made, and I moving on from it.
The end.
Or so I thought?
Sitting there at that spring, in one of the times where I was alone, I felt this little nudge: “go to New Zealand.”
😶
❓
❗
New Zealand?
Wait, what?
It was a very unexpected thought, and it didn’t really feel like it came from me?
I wasn’t sure if it was a prompting from God either, as it wasn’t a really strong message, not super clear like others that I’ve gotten. And honestly, most of the time that I get those particular kinds of short messages, they are in the negative, warning me not to do something as opposed to encouraging me to do something..
Is God actually nudging me to go to New Zealand this time?
😶
I got the little nudge twice, but I was still hesitant because it just seemed… odd. So I said to the big guy, okay, if there’s still a really good deal, then I’ll take that as a yes, and I’ll go.
So I popped on over to the travel site that I usually use, Google flights, and looked it up, and lo and behold, there was a super great deal out of Rapid City.
😶
But then… I just couldn’t get myself to trust that it was from God, so I hemmed and hawed, and it was Sunday anyway, so I wasn’t wanting to buy the ticket yet, but… what… what’s going on?!?! 🙃
Each time I thought about going to New Zealand after those nudges, I got really excited.
But… really?
My brain was swimming a fair bit, and I just struggled to trust that it was indeed a message from the Big Guy.
Eventually, headed back to the property, helped Heather and Hans work on Rivers hoofs a little bit. He’s got something going on with one of his hoofs that’s been going on for a good long time, and they’re still working to try and get it healed. Looks like it’s getting better, a lot better, but still needs a lot of work.
We ate dinner and chatted, and then I chatted with Cory for a little bit, and then I spent a good long time sort of… New Zealand shopping. 🙃
I don’t know what to think. It’s a lot of money. It seems a little bit of an exorbitant trip to take by myself when I’ve got family in need. I can’t logically come up with any good reason for going other than if I’m not around lots of people who need help, then I won’t keep spending all my time helping other people and not doing the things that I feel like I ought to be doing.
But then again, I’m really good at distracting myself wherever I am, so that would be another strike against going.
And I’m not really that interested in traveling alone. This last road trip kind of taught me that. I love the places I was going, but I’m lonely when I’m alone. I want to share them with people I love. Mostly, I want to share them with a significant other.
And going to New Zealand? Going alone? Going to a land filled with temptation in areas where I struggle?
Part of me is excited about the possibility of going. Part of me just feels like it doesn’t make any sense, and I would like for it to make sense.
I know the things that God directs don’t always make sense right away but eventually do, but…
Anyway, I’m having a hard time just trusting and making the decision.
I guess we’ll see what I do. It wouldn’t just be a short trip. It would be a longer trip, actually living there for a while. Probably a minimum of five months.
🤷
Gratitude:
- I’m grateful to have been able to take a quick bath this morning without worrying about lots of other people around.
- I’m grateful I was able to arrive at church in time to partake of the sacrament.
- I’m grateful to have been able to have some good little conversations with Branch members, to get to know people a little bit more.
- I’m grateful to my sister for wanting to spoil me and spoiling me with all those tasty smoothies. 🥰
- I’m grateful that they both came to the springs today. 😊
- I’m grateful to have found that there was a warmer springs. I’ve actually been in it before, but never as a transition from the colder to the warmer, so I didn’t realize that it was warmer. 🙃 The day that I pulled three ticks off me after doing some exploring up stream, I had actually gone through those warmer springs.
Success:
- I find myself becoming less and less attached both to physical things and the results of effort. I think I’m becoming more and more okay with things just being as they are, whatever they are. Granted, when I say more okay, that’s simply a reference to improvement, not a reference to having overcome anything. I’m still clearly quite attached to things going the way I want them to go. 🙃
Improvement:
- Still struggling to get up at my goal hour. 😕
Thought of the Day:
The Weaving
My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.
~ Corrie Ten Boom
Hand of God In My Life Today:
New Zealand? Was it you? Was it really?
I’ll sleep on it. 🛌
Lift the world.
Bring it on.
~ stephen
Lift the World 