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Yep 🥰
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…
It’s coming together more and more within my mind and heart. 😊
Letting go. Trusting God. Come what may.
And it’s not just cerebral understanding: God is changing me. Neither is it “apply it, and wait for the blessing.” I’m partaking of the blessing–now.
🙏
Oh what a tremendous shift in my heart is taking place! The vision and feeling of what it’s like to be the kind of person I want to be is coming together.
I came to this earth to become, to go through hell, to walk through the hottest fires and swim in the deepest waters, and in and through all that, to learn to let go of self and to choose perfect love, the love of God, above all else.
And… though the journey is yet long, I’m closer than I’ve ever been.
And hell? Bring it on.
Bring. It. On.
Here am I, Lord. I’m ready.
I have the strength of God in my heart and the power of God in my hands, and no person or thing can take either away from me.
I know I’m on a spiritual high right now and that some of the most hellish uncomfortable blessings are quite possibly on their way already, but that doesn’t negate the truth of the present.
Even if tomorrow, even if an hour from now I’m running away from struggle and strain, from challenge and pain… the realities of the “holy present” are here and true as they rest upon me right now.
And on top of all that, I’m clean. 🙏
Glory, glory, glory to God in the highest. Were it not for his love and light and grace and strength, I would not be where I am right now.
And I am grateful. 🙏
I hope I always remember my dependence upon God and never take this precious gift of cleanliness and virtue for granted.
…
I’m tired and starting to nod off. 🙃
But I want to finish this up tonight. I want to give to my dear Savior the gift of someone who truly understands what it’s like to have gone through what He did. I’m so far from that that I don’t even have an inkling of how far I even am, but that’s okay.
…
Woke up and did some dailies. Then I actually made progress on my perspective/ testimony meditation. I haven’t really made any progress for a long time.
That was actually a really big deal for me today, as it was the catalyst to a bunch of thinking for multiple hours. I think it was the catalyst to what brought on that experience I described above.
What a gift. 🙏
Started doing a little work, but didn’t really end up doing much of any today.
Funny, I can’t remember much from the middle of the day. I know I ate breakfast. Chatted with my sister Heather for a bit. Dug out my TENS unit for Hans.
…
Spent I don’t know how many hours working on finishing up the grading of the septic drain field. I’m on the home stretch. I’ve removed most of the supremely packed clay chunks that are almost as hard as rocks. 🎉
There are just a couple of places left that need the super compacted clay gathered up and deposited in the big disposable dirt pile. Then there are some low spots in the drain field area, so I’ll use the dump cart to get some dirt from that same dirt pile to fill in the low spots, but with dirt that’s already broken up.
Chatted with my sister for a good little while about how stuff and about spiritual stuff before she went back in, and I continued working on the grading project.
After I called it good for the night, I went back and enjoyed one more smoothie, my sister having made two today. 😊
Then I headed over to cool off and relax a little bit, at least mentally, in the spring, chatting with Cory on the way there.
I spent some time excavating out parts that had me at the excavated, and I spent probably the other half of the time moving big rock chunks from one side of the little soaking pool to the spillway area, as during excavation, I had just sort of put rocks all around the sides of the pool, but if I’m actually going to do a really solid job of sealing the dam portions of the pool, I’ll need take some pretty good time building up the materials on the inside portion of the dam. Once those are built up and sealed with clay or something fine like that, then I’ll come back in with the larger chunks of Rock to hold that dam material in place and to add additional places to sit down.
Anyway, so not much progress was made in the actual continued excavation, but I’m better prepared for what needs to come next in terms of waterproofing and making it structurally well built in addition to hopefully having it look nice when it’s done.
Working in water definitely makes it a lot harder in some ways, though it makes it easier in other ways, such as the pressures that water exert on the very large chunks of Rock making them easier to move without injuring myself.
Came home, made myself some dinner, chatted with Heather and Hans for a little while, cleaned up the mess I made in Rover looking for the tens unit, and now here I am finishing up my entry for the night.
Gratitude to My Father:
- What a glorious day. I’m so grateful to have been able to feel the power of the Spirit.
- I’m grateful to have been able to make the progress that I made on grading the septic drain field area.
- I’m grateful for the spring and for the beauty that it provides both for my eyes and for my soul.
- I’m grateful that I have, to this point, managed to stay remarkably uninjured, despite dealing with large, extremely heavy, sharp, rocks.
- I’m grateful for my little rechargeable fan that lasts pretty much an entire week of blowing on me without having to be recharged.
- I’m grateful for the changes in heart that my wonderful Father in Heaven is giving me.
- I’m grateful for the experiences of seeing myself letting go of self and giving myself and all that I have and am to God. I recently watched an anti-mormon video that ripped on the idea of consecrating everything to the Church. I guess from their perspective that’s what it is, but from the perspective of an insider, I’m not giving it to the Church. I’m giving it to God. And yes, it’s his church, but it’s he to whom all I have and am is given, and I am currently unable to adequately describe how amazing it feels to have that heart, even if it’s only temporary, of truly, honestly, sincerely, without compulsion, giving my heart and all that I have, temporally and spiritually to God.
- I’m grateful that it’s possible to feel close to people I love even at great distance, And even without the electronic connection.
We. Celebrate. Successes!!! 🥳:
- I made progress on my perspective/testimony meditation draft. That was huge today. Huge. It made such a difference for me and was part of what’s been just an absolutely wonderful day.
- When things go sideways, I’m starting to not just avoid acting poorly, but to relish the opportunities to face what could easily be frustrating.
- I’m letting Go. I’m letting go of the things that I’ve held on to because God is showing me, reminding me of what I want most, and He’s leading me there.
Reflections on Where I Can Improve:
- Hmmm… It was a really good day. 😊
Thought of the Day:
The meek will inherit the earth precisely because they understand the kind of caring that leads to sharing. And they demand, like the Christ, nothing. They pray as He prayed for deliverance and relief. But their blessings flow unto them without compulsory means because they submit to a higher and wiser will.
~ Truman G. Madsen
Hand of God In My Life Today:
Thank you, Lord. Thank you for the gift of letting go and trusting, for however long I have it.
🙏
My love to you all.
Connected. 💚
Lift the world.
Bring it on.
~ stephen
Lift the World 