(written on the 10th from sparse notes taken previously)
I think I spent pretty much the whole day trying to figure out the missing file issues.
No dice so far. 😞
My new external drive came, and Heather gave me one of her drives as well to use.
The biggest news of the day was that Heather and Hans had a builder over to look at the house. They came highly recommended and gave a wonderful first impression, so we’re all excited to get a bid!
Spent some time chatting with Hans later about the potential work party to bring family in from out of town to help build the house, but after talking about it for a while, working through logistics, it seemed pretty clear that it was going to be better not to have the work party.
We then all chatted together about it over dinner that Heather had made for us.
Why can’t I just trust God. So the biggest area of direction in my life didn’t go as I’d understood it. Why do I let that taint every other direction from God?
Every time we talked about having a work party, I felt that warning from God. Something wasn’t right. I didn’t know what, but He gave me the ‘no.’ But I thought, it’s not my house, why am I getting this message.
I always feel awkward and embarrassed in these circumstances.
I feel like I’m always the one with these nudges/messages from God, and so few others I’m with ever mention them, and I just feel… foolish.
But then the reasons for those directions come to light, and the directions confirmed, and I receive the witness therethrough that I was on track, but I never seem to build up any confidence.
I just feel awkward and dumb and am afraid to say anything.
😕
Really good night, though, despite the reflections on the not-as-effective realities of my internal battles.
Gratitude to My Father:
- I’m grateful that the builder was able to come and that they seemed so good!
- I’m grateful I was able to cancel my flight to Arkansas. I’ll just drive. 😊
- I’m grateful to have yet another witness that I do hear the Lord’s voice, even if I still haven’t been able to make the leap to actually trusting Him. 😅
Reflections on Where I Can Improve:
- Just trust God, Stephen.
Hand of God In My Life Today:
Quite repetitive I am, but the confirmation of the message I received multiple times that despite how much we want to make progress on the house and how cool a work party would be, it just wasn’t… right.
So hard not to let all the little experiences get continually overshadowed by the big one that still dominates everything for me.
But… that’s another area for growth. So… I’ll look forward to growing.
Lift the world.
Bring it on.
~ stephen
Lift the World 