2020-07-30 — Plan of Attack

Hiya, peeps 😊

Not sure why 6:30 a.m. wake up calls are proving to be such a challenge so far. I got to bed last night in such a time that it shouldn’t have been an issue, but… I ran into one small little snag.

I couldn’t fall asleep. 😶

I tossed.

I turned.

All night.

I’d doze off for a little, but then I’d wake up and toss and turn. Over and over again, the cycle repeated. It wasn’t a bad thing. I actually had lots of happy thoughts going through my head, so despite the lack of sleep, it was actually kind of nice in some ways.

Still, it wasn’t until the break of dawn, actually seeing it beginning to get light outside, that I finally fell asleep. With that as my night’s rest, as you can imagine, I didn’t choose to get up an hour and a half later with my 6:30 alarm.

No, I slept.

I ended up sleeping until I think probably 10 or 10:30 or so, only getting what, about 6 hours of sleep, maybe? Hopefully, I’ll be tired enough that I’ll fall asleep relatively easily tonight. 🙃

Honestly, I don’t remember what all I did today. I was happy, though. I didn’t have really any negativity from within or without to deal with. It was nice. 😊

I did my four five-minute clean ups, trimming rose bushes, cleaning the metal and wood scraps off the driveway, cleaning my room up a little bit, and tidying up the main floor of the house.

Oh, I pulled out an old song that I’d started writing in the past that I’ve never finished. I think I’m gonna try and finish it some time in the next few weeks or so, and then I’ll at least get the lyrics up for you, if not a recording as well. We’ll see how it goes. I’m gonna work on getting my music up bit by bit. 🙂

I also started working on some of my posts that will be related to trusting God and overcoming fear. There’s so much I used to know that I’ve forgotten. I’m getting reminded of old insights, old understandings I used to have. It’s amazing how much I can lose when I’m not actively using or thinking about it.

What else? I talked with Cory, my Utah friend who’s doing this life-changing becoming challenge with me. Good conversation, as always. He’s one of my favorite people in the whole world to have a conversation with. It’s always meaty, deep, and meaningful.

Good stuff.

Here’s a little song I thought about today for the journey that Cory and I are on 🙂.

I also went out to dinner with a buddy of mine who’s going through a hard time. He’s got a lot on his plate right now, with his whole life changing all at once and challenges in all sorts of areas piling on. It was good to be with him.

It was nice to take the day off work. I really could get used to this not-working-myself-into-oblivion thing. It’s also nice. 🙂

Sorry, this is all disjointed. I’m not quite with it. I’m behind in that one health issue, and I don’t really feel like I know why, unless I’m just not hydrated enough some how. I’ve eaten plenty. At least, I think I have… I’ll eat and drink some more before I go to bed.

#1. I’m grateful to be making progress on building my faith. As I mentioned in my other post for today, it’s important to me to have it grounded in my own personal experiences and not anyone else’s. So, that’s what I’m working on.

#2. I’m grateful to have been able to take the day off today. Very nice. Very nice, indeed.

#3. I’m grateful that I’m staying on top of things with my goals, still making progress. One of the nice things about having these little goals that make visible differences, is that I’m able to actually see the improvements around me, and that’s motivating. It just feels good. 🙂

#4. I’m grateful that I haven’t dealt with fear for the future pretty much at all today. I can’t promise that’ll last, but things have been really good for me the last few days as I’ve been working on kicking to the curb any and all negative sentiments and working on trusting God. It’s been… soooooo nice.

#5. I’m grateful that I’m still going strong in most of my areas. The exercise has been a hard one to get going again. I’d planned on doing that in the morning when I get up, and since I’ve not been doing it for most of the last month now, I’m not even remembering that. I want to get that one back in gear.

Funny… so… normally I buy whole milk because I can have trouble keeping weight on and getting the calories I need in a day. When I had my lovely little many-months-long sugar binge and gained a ton of weight, I started buying the water milk to get me down. Now here I am after last month’s anxiety diet back on whole milk. 🙃

Let’s see, things to do better.

#1. Get back on the exercise wagon.

#2. I was both enthusiastic today about my growth plans and all that, but I was also a bit… worn out. Might have something to do with my lack of sleep last night, so I’m gonna give myself a pass on that today. I did make progress, and that was good, and I was happy, and that was good as well. I didn’t feel as motivated because I was tired, I think. I was dragging a bit, but I want to become the best person I can become for my future family, all of you, everyone in the world, and of course God as well. I think the highest motivation is the motivation of doing these things out of love for everyone, so that’s what I’m working on.

Okay, that’s a wrap for today. Gonna call it quits. I’m later than I want to be right now, and I still have a little to eat and drink before I crash. It’s 11:27.

Good night, my lovelies.

Lift the World.

~ stephen