2020-08-19 — Steady Forward Progress

Hi, my people,

It’s been another good day, this one of the up and down variety. I’ve been blessed with many opportunities to choose to grow through challenges, and I’m happy to say that I think I’ve been blessed to take advantage of each, at least today. Given how recent days have gone, with me agonizing over my faults and afraid for the future, I’ll take a win in that area of life at least for a day.

Progress.

One thing I’ve known that I wanted to be able to do is to be okay with only the next step in the journey visible to me. My mom regularly says, “Just do the next right thing.”

Well, after who knows how many years of hearing that, I think my heart is finally willing to be humble enough and patient enough to let go of needing to see the “the distance scene” and to have “one step enough for me.”

I’ve been practicing that today, “Lord, what’s the next step?” and it’s been good. I’ve been able to do those things today. It feels nice to make progress in something right now. Since finishing up the last “next right thing,” I don’t seem to be getting anything further for today from The Man Upstairs, so I’ll take that as my cue to that it’s my turn to make my own next right thing. And… It’s pretty easy to see what it is, honestly. It’s coming up on 10:00. The next right step is journal and sleep, unless The Dude points me elsewhere.

I think I’m finally ready to accept another truth as well. I’ve tried so hard for so long to figure out how to grow and change as quickly as possible. There’s no harm in that, for sure. It can be hugely rewarding and successful, provided this lesson be understood: real changes of heart and character most often take a long time. It is not wise to try to do more than the energy and capacity we have. So, I’ll plan, and I’ll work my tail off, within reason, but I won’t get down in myself if the growth and change is slower than I want it to be.

I’ve found myself to have come up quite short in some personal areas recently, and I’ve wanted to just be able to be different now, but it just doesn’t work like that with me, generally. I’ve seen great changes in my heart recently and in the way my mind handles things, but that’s been an exception to the rule.

Anyway, so that’s another thing. I’ve also come face to face with the reality that I can’t see true beauty. I’ve been blinded and twisted by society’s standards for… so long. And I’ve done it to myself as well. For decades, I’ve fed myself a steady diet of images that I think have ingrained into me that beauty looks this way.

Well… society is wrong. The human body is beautiful, in all shapes and sizes.

I’m gonna work hard to retrain my brain to see true beauty. I’ve already seen some progress here, so I’m grateful and hopeful. I have some ideas for how to do the retraining, and I’m gonna be implementing those in my life. I’ll keep you posted.

I’m running out of mental steam right now. Tiredness is kicking in… starting to win out, so it’s probably time…

#1. I am grateful to be recognizing things that I have not recognized as clearly before.

#2. I am grateful to feel like I’m making progress in areas that are so important to me.

#3. I am grateful to have working air conditioning in my car.

#4. I am grateful to my tech David for all the work he does for me.

#5. I am grateful for the principle that I have found to be true, that when my burden is heavy, helping another person with their burden makes mine lighter. It doesn’t keep me from having to carry it, but it does make it lighter. I tried to apply that principle today a little bit, and it helped in the challenges that I was facing.

To be better…

#1. Be quicker to do the right thing once I know what it is.

#2. Turn outward more, focusing on serving and blessing others.

Well, my lovelies, it’s the end of another day. Thanks, for everything you do for me. Comments and just… reading.

Loves and hugs.

Lift the World.

~ stephen