2021-01-02 — Positively Negative

Buenas! Happy Saturday to all y’all. 😊

It’s been another good day in 2021 over here. 🙂 I woke up feeling a tad bit better physically–the pre sore throat having reversed course, leaving my throat feeling normal.

That was super nice. 😊

The tightness in my chest did come back, though, but I’ll come back to that in a little bit.

We were all set for a pretty stacked Saturday, with one job alone accounting for 8.5 billable hours, but David sent me a text early this morning saying he had a fever and was feeling nasty and was calling in. Couple that with a very cold and miserable day outside and with my chest tightening back up and me feeling pretty nasty, I just called it a day myself and pushed back everything I could push back and dealt with at least one cancellation because we were sick. Just about everyone was okay with pushing things back, though. That was nice. 😊 (though some didn’t really feel like they had a choice).

With David sick, the day free, and my chest symptoms coming back, I decided to drag my diminishing butt down to the urgent care to get myself tested for Covid, given that this weird tight chest symptom is not a normal thing for me when I’m sick… at least not that I can remember. Also, though my mom is quite spry for being more than 3/4 of a century young, I don’t want to be exposing her to Covid.

I was actually pretty sure I was gonna test positive, given the weirdness of the chest symptoms, but… nope… they said I was negative and just happened to have one of the other gazillion viruses that apparently still exists out there.

I spent most of the rest of the day trying to prepare all my financial stuff for my 2020 taxes, just going through everything line by line looking for things that needed to be addressed. There are a gazillion of them, but I did make a dent in them, so that’s good. Lots to go still, but progress has been made, which is more than has been happening.

I think most of all, I’m just grateful that today I’ve been better focused on doing the things that keep me positive about life. I still have a ways to go in even just accomplishing the simple things I talk about all the time, but I made meaningful progress today, and I feel good about that. 🙂

I was tempted on multiple occasions to waste time in things that would just drag me down, and I resisted every time. I was tempted to bypass some of my dailies that are critical for me in keeping a good perspective, but I resisted and did them anyway. I knuckled down and made progress on the tax front when it’s one of the most overwhelming things that I face. In fact, I started plowing through multiple things that I haven’t wanted to deal with.

Progress.

And I’m happy with it. 😊 Daily progress is really what I want. Yes, I want to be pride free, fear free, etc., but… it’s a major process, and today, there’s progress in the process. And that’s good enough for me. 😊

So, I’m content right now. I’m positive. I’m upbeat. Sure, I’m tired… and I’m ready to go to bed now, but I’m grateful to be looking through half-full lenses right now. 🙂

And tomorrow, I’m gonna write a post I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I think I’m going to title it something like, “God… to Believe or Not to Believe.” Big disclaimer… for those of you who aren’t believers in a creator being of some kind (God/gods/higher being, etc.), this might not be something you’re interested in reading, as I’ll certainly be working through why I choose to believe in God.

This post is actually mostly for me personally to help me get down what I’m thinking and feeling and what I believe and why. I’m a verbal processor, but writing is helpful as well, and… it’s something I can go back and re-read, ponder, even record and listen to.

I do have one other post to write immediately prior to that one, actually… so hopefully I’ll get them both done tomorrow. 😊

#1. I’m grateful to be feeling like I’m turning the corner with being sick. It’s nice.

#2. I’m grateful to be positive and happier today. 😊

#3. I’m grateful to have been strong and to have been able to stay away from the things that would drag me down and to do the things that lift me up.

#4. I’m grateful to be Covid free, so that I can go to work, though I wouldn’t have been too terribly sad if I were positive. Then that would be over with. I’d have a forced 6 more days to work on getting my financial house in order, and… yeah. But… I’m grateful to be Covid free, so I can take care of the customers I’ve promised to help.

#5. I’m grateful that my finger, after several days of feeling like it was not getting better and perhaps was even getting worse, felt like it made some forward progress today. I have my appt. with the surgeon on Tuesday, and since I’m Covid free, I should be able to go to it. Wahoo!

#6. I’m grateful to be another day clean and sober. We’re at 20 days. I choose to be clean. I choose to be free for the rest of my life. I choose Love over selfishness.

Thought of the Day: “To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” ― Howard Zinn

Good night, my lovelies. Loves and hugs to all y’all. 😊

Lift the World.

~ stephen