2021-03-28 — Early to Bed

I’m so tired. 🙃

I’m grateful for this day of rest. It’s such a nice respite.

I keep looking forward to Sunday as a day to focus on spiritual things, but lately I’ve been finding the same result. I’ve worked myself so hard the Saturday prior that I’m physically just spent on Sunday, and when I’m tired, I don’t do as well at feeling close to God. Well… I should say that when I’m tired because of my poor choices, I’m not very receptive to what God is trying to say to me. I don’t really get much of anything.

So… I have these great spiritual plans for Sundays, but then I get there, and I’m tired, and my mind is all over, and I just can’t focus very long on the things that I want to ponder.

In addition to that, I haven’t been putting the eternal things in first priority as I had been. I’ve gotten distracted by less-important things. Accordingly, when Sunday arrives, I’m not ready to receive anything. I haven’t prepared like I know I ought. I haven’t done what I ought.

And… I’m not surprised that it happens that way. When I’m actually present with God on a day-to-day basis, Sunday is simply a continuation of the rest of the week, bringing additional insights and more concentrated time to focus on such things. But when I’m running crazy like I have a bit this week, especially Friday and Saturday, I’m almost looking to Sunday as a rescue; but it’s a rescue that doesn’t come because I just haven’t done my part. The life boat ain’t gonna help as much if you forgot to blow it up first.

I haven’t put first things first as well at all, and I know quite well just how important that is for me. So… my fault.🙃

That said, I did had some insights into prayer today that have been quite helpful. I keep saying I think I’m finally understanding, only to find myself on my head the very next day.

It’s my opaque hamster ball all over again.

So, I’m not gonna say that I think I finally have it. I’m just gonna say, I learned some new things about prayer today that help me add more pieces to the puzzle.

…

I’m falling asleep as I write this. 🙃

…

Anyway, it’s funny to keep feeling, over and over, that after 39 years, I’m only barely starting to understand prayer. I know I’ve said this already, but it’s true. But I am learning, and that’s cool. I keep trying to put it together in a format that’s shareable, useful, helpful… something that might benefit others, but then I keep having additional thoughts pop into my brain, and I realize I’m back at feeling like my head is on upside down.

But this is great.

Sorry, if I’m rambling. I’m… exhausted. I’m gonna finish here, get a drink, and go to bed. I’m gonna be in bed by like… 7 p.m!

#1. I’m grateful that my hill family is starting to enjoy the trails I’ve been making.

#2. I’m grateful for the beautiful Spring weather. It was gorgeous today. Loved it.

#3. I’m grateful for Plant Butter (Country Crock butter alternative). It’s great. 😊

#4. I’m grateful for voice recorders that allow me to record my spiritual conversations (such as today’s with my mother where I was sort of processing through some thoughts I have about prayer.

#5. I’m grateful that I’m feeling okay right now physically. I didn’t take care of myself the best yesterday. I did better than at times, but I’m still struggling to figure out food after having gone vegan and trying to eat healthily. I’m so used to eating processed, easy-to-make-on-the-fly… stuff. I did okay but not well enough by a long shot, so I’m grateful I’m okay right now.

Thought of the Day: “Gratitude is one of the most powerful human emotions. Once expressed, it changes attitude, brightens outlook, and broadens our perspective.” ― Germany Kent

Good night, all. It’s just before 8, and I’m gonna be in bed on time. Finally.

Let’s do this.

Loves and hugs.

Lift the World.

~ stephen

Daily Accountability Summary:

Morning Routine Weighted Success: (haven’t really created a Sunday version)

Evening Routine Weighted Success: (haven’t really created a Sunday version)

Pornography/Sex Addiction Victory: 5

To-Do Top 3 Prioritization: 33%

Free of Texting While Driving: 3