2021-06-13 — Permanentizing

Hiya, folks. 😊

I’m feeling a little of the Sunday blues right now? I haven’t had those in a long time, and they only just started coming on in the last 15 minutes or so.

Well… I guess things were a little hard for a brief bit earlier today as well because one of the people at church talked about waiting years and years before she got married and how hard it was but how it was so worth the wait. And… that person is a decent bit younger than I. And… it’s hard sometimes.

(I’m fine, by the way… not depressed about it. It was just a tough moment, and I’d forgotten about it until now when I found myself distracted on Facebook looking at how old friends are doing… seeing lots of families, lots of kids… That’s where the Sunday blues started creeping in… longing for the life I wanted but… yeah. But! I have so much! Today I was able to be there for people struggling, and I’m grateful for the opportunity, even if it’s just in little ways. I have so many opportunities to lift the world.).

I think… I think that’s all I’m gonna write today.

#1. I’m grateful for the day off.

#2. I’m grateful for the opportunity in church today to practice living the principles I’ve learned. The lesson in Elder’s quorum, the first half, was hard for me at first. Instead of a discussion, it was more of a talk, and it had a lot to do with sports as well… and I had a hard time with it (not the sports, just… feeling like I was getting anything at all out of the lesson). But then I was reminded of something Elder Scott shared, and experience he had where he’d visited two Sunday school lessons the same day but different wards. The first was an uneducated gentleman struggling to communicate but who was obviously touched by the things he’d learned and experienced and was trying to share them with his heart. Elder Scott talked about how meaningful that was, and I was reminded of that and found myself looking again at the lesson giver and the lesson and going seeing a man struggling to communicate but still sharing something so important to him. It made a difference for me. I started to pay attention better and to learn from what he was saying. I’m grateful for that lesson and the opportunity to get out of myself and to see value in different ways, in different packages than what might be most engaging, etc.

#3. I’m grateful to be still on top of this edge thing. i think I feel a tad edgy? I’m gonna take another half of an excedrin migraine right now and see how we do. I’m hopeful all this might just be fasting (either food or water or both) induced migraines. Would be so nice to know that’s what the issue is. Crossing fingers.

#4. I’m grateful to have started to feel the Spirit a bit more today. I’ve been slipping a bit and drifting a bit lately, and during that lesson at church, I felt like I started coming back a good bit, and I’m grateful.

#5. I’m grateful for that “this is my perfect moment” motto or phrase or what ever the most-accurate term is. I think it’s helping me regain perspective in tough moments.

Daily Accountability:

The Positive

1. 20 days. Steady as she goes.
2. I feel like I’m starting to make more noticeable progress in permanentizing my desire to grown and become as a bedrock reason for my desire to be alive, which makes it all the easier to handle life and everything that comes because it’s all a blessing. Every moment of every day is my perfect moment to practicing choosing to be who I want to be. It’s so… great. 😊
3. I feel like I’ve been able to be a support and encourager for some people recently, and that’s… the best.

The Needs Improvement:

1. 11:31. Better than yesterday. Still not good, but great improvement in my life overall, so… we’ll relax and just keep at it.

Loves and hugs, all you wonderful people you. 😊

Lift the World.

~ stephen