2021-07-01 — Pensive and… Reverent

We had a family prayer tonight at Chrysti’s bedside, family from all over the country gathering. Her body has been ravaged by cancer and destructive medical treatments, and now she’s in a coma. Our prayer is that she might pass tonight.

At least, as best we can tell, the coma is deep enough that she’s not suffering anymore. There were times that the suffering was so intense that… yeah.

It evokes a quiet, still… I don’t know how to describe it. There’s a sense of reverence, a sense of the sacred. Such a wonderful woman.

It’s her’s and Steve’s (her husband) generosity that allows me to live here. This house that I live in with my mom and nephew. They built it for my stepdad and my mom, and they’ve welcomed us with open arms as family.

It’s a privilege. I never really got to know Chrysti, a reality that is a loss for me, as seeing her impact on so many, the things she taught others just by who she was, the love she shared so freely… what a beautiful woman.

I’m here because of her love. So many of my hill family are who they are because of Chrysti.

I remember when I finished my mission, people were asked to say something about what they would remember me for as a missionary (the other missionaries were asked that…. something like that, anyway). The responses came back, and I think mostly they were in reference to me as a hard worker.

I was… really disappointed. I wanted to be remembered for how much I cared. But I don’t think a single person mentioned that.

Hopefully, I can live a life more like Chrysti–full of love, love, and more love. I try to, but I look at myself and I go… there you are… working all the time still. I mean… that doesn’t paint an accurate picture, but… there is truth in it, more than I would like there to be.

Anyway, I’m pensive. There’s a reverence or… whatever the words are.

I almost don’t want to write about the other events of the day, but I will. I got up about 7:15 this morning, I think, and I went to my dentist appointment to see about the pain in my tooth. And what did they find?

My friend Brittani would know what. It’s generally the same answer for both of us–nothing. No evidence of the pain. In dentistry, that’s… not a good sign. I probably either have a tooth that’s dying, or I have a tooth that’s trying to split. So… that’s… no bueno. I’d hoped to keep all my teeth without crowns or root canals for my whole life, but… it’s not looking so good at this point. Chalk that up to lots and lots of cavities as a young teenager ruining all my teeth early early on.

Whoops.

It rained. Some nice little thunderstorms.

I took it slow today, being tired all day from maybe 3+ hours of sleep after being up late working and not being able to fall asleep even though I was really tired. I went up to visit Miguel, and I hung out with him for a bit, and then I had a vegan lunch with his partner and her mom. That was good. 🙂

Then I went to a 2006 GMC Yukon that had a fuel leak, and I found the fuel lines so rusty that they were squirting gas out and misting a fine gasoline mist that was super… safe, let me tell you. The fuel lines were so rusty the quick connects were rusted to the pump itself, and I had to break the rusted lines off the pump (not hard at all because the were so rusty they just… fell apart rather easily). Once the tank was down, it took probably 30 minutes just to get the lock ring off the tank to get the pump out. It was nutty. So. Much. Rust.

But… we got it down, the lock ring off, and the pump out, and I had him do some of the work to save him some money, so that was good for both of us. He’s gonna need new lines, so he’s in charge of finding those while I order the pump and lock ring and wait for that to come in.

After that, Allison’s truck broke down again, overheating again for no reason, so they changed the thermostat, but that didn’t help, and they accidentally broke the temp sensor off inside the water pump (stupid plastic sensor. They make those sensors out of plastic. It’s just… dumb (making a sensor plastic with plastic threads that goes into metal). What do they expect after 100k miles of hot, cold, hot, cold. Of course the plastic is going to be brittle on the outside and is going to bond itself to the metal on the inside. That’s what happens when you put those combinations together. Just make it out of metal, people. Please?

Anyway, I tried to help for a while, but I could only do so much before I had to leave for other jobs. And we realized it’s gonna have to have the pump come out anyway… Which… will be a nightmare. I tried to get their pump out on the side of the road a long time ago, and we fought it and fought it and fought it, and finally gave up because we couldn’t brake the darn thing lose (the fan clutch from the water pump pulley). So… yeah… there you go. Tough stuff. They’ve had so many things go wrong lately, Allison in and out of the hospital, family members and close friends dying… Can’t seem to catch a break. I tried to help, but we weren’t able to do much.

After that, I went to the parking lot of a commercial complex where a lady and her adult son were stranded with their 2013 Yukon not going into gear. The bushing on the shift cable had broken, and they couldn’t get it into gear, so I was able to get them a temporary fix so they could drive home, and I instructed them how to do the job themselves when they got home (ordering the special aftermarket repair kit online because the factory repair procedure is to replace the whole blasted cable set, which would be hundreds of dollars, and the repair kit would take like… 5 minutes and cost like $30.

It was pouring down rain, so I was lying in puddles of water under the Yukon while I tried to get them the temp fix, but I got them going, and they were grateful and even gave me a $45ish tip. So nice of them. 🙂

Then it was home, family prayer, and spending time with family in this really hard time.

Please… feel free to send out prayers/universe thoughts/petitions that Chrysti might get to go quickly. But if not… we’ll be grateful for everything that comes because it’s all a blessing.

Good night, folks. Love to all.

Lift the World

~ stephen