2021-11-02 — Indomitable, Reprise

😁

Bring it on.

No excuses.

Thank you, Les Brown.

I turned on a Les Brown motivational speech this morning, and boom, I was back. Man, it’s so easy to slip back into the negative. The tentacles grab on so quickly and effectively, but I have a utopian-thinking heart and soul, so my natural self wants to to reach for the universe because, “darn it! I think it’s possible! I don’t care if people tell me it’s not. I’m gonna go make it happen.

And yes, I’m sure this screams naivete and arrogance, but… so what! You can be a star chaser or a star gazer, and my soul is with the stars. If I’m naïve, I love being naïve. I’m a dreamer. And to quote Mr. Lennon, “I’m not the only one.”

😁

That’s why I’m grateful for Mr. Brown: He’s a “ain’t nothin’ gonna stop me” kind of person. That’s what I need. That’s what my soul craves. That’s what I hunger for, the energy and passion and enthusiasm and excitement of chasing the stars. The messages from you and everyone to go out and live the dream! Change the world!

I’m tired of being safe. How does the saying go? “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”? Something like that, anyway.

I’m tired of being afraid. I’m tired of being reasonable, in the common view of things. It’s… not reasonable for me. It’s sedation of the soul. My soul has never been comfortable sitting back and playing it safe. Sure it’s scary to chase the stars, but it’s so. much. more. soul. filling.

So I’m gonna chase the stars! And I’m gonna catch one or two–or a whole galaxy!

And when I get hit in the mouth, I’m gonna pivot and plow forward! And if I fall, to quote Mr. Washington (Denzel, that is) I’m gonna “fall forward.”

Indomitable.

“Impossible to subdue or defeat”!!!

And thus it begins…

…

In other news, today went completely sideways, and I’m… completely fine. 😁

I got out late, first two job possibilities were no go’s. Third one was a job I never should have taken, but it was a repeat customer I felt I let down last time, and I went over there, and it was a job I’d never done before and was learning on, but I ended up not being able to do the job anyway because the main air line was completely stuck in the old broken part (was trying to swap out some air suspension bags, and the line was stuck in a broken solenoid and wouldn’t come out).

So… I didn’t charge him anything for going out, even though he was ready to pay me. I think money is maybe not tight but not super abundant either.

Last job was one that I never should have taken either, and I was grateful that when I got there, it was more reasonable to send them somewhere else anyway, so I did what I could to help them, and I didn’t charge them much at all, and I called it a night. I didn’t make much money at all today, and that’s… totally fine. “The obstacle is the way.”

I’m excited for my lunch tomorrow. I’m nervous, too. But I’m excited. We’re gonna go to Pataya (a local restaurant that has lots of vegan options). I guess he remembered that I’m vegan because he suggested a couple places that had vegan options. He said he’s excited to meet up, so that’s cool.

I’m daring to hope that now might be my time to finally let go of all the things that hold me/slow me down, and to plunge forward with my whole soul into lifting the world in the most effective ways I was born to lift. I’ve felt ever since I was a little kid that I could do anything. And I think that’s one of the reasons I’ve struggled so hard trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, because there were so many options, but I wasn’t built for the things I’ve been doing. I wasn’t built to play it safe. I wasn’t built to lead the “normal” life. It’s not in my heart. It’s not in my soul. My ideal place to live is in my country haven, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get there, because my ideal life is traveling the world, lifting, loving, inspiring. I don’t need a place to live. Heck, I’ll live out of my car again. What do I care?!?!

Chase the stars.

1. I’m grateful that I am pumped up again.
2. I’m grateful that I ended on good terms with the customers I wasn’t really able to help today. They were both grateful and appreciative.
3. I’m grateful to be making this gratitude list. Good stuff.
4. I’m grateful that my van has been going and going and going. That’s nice.
5. I’m grateful for you people encouraging me! Thank you, so much!

Love you all!

Lift the World!

~ stephen