2022-03-13 — I Might Go Off…

Please forgive me in advance if I run off on a tangent for… many paragraphs.

Fair warning. Read further at your own risk, as I might descend into rambling madness. It’s late, but this might actually be my first thoughtful post in a long time. Not that I haven’t had pensive posts, but I’m usually so tired that I sort of do a run through of the day without taking time to chew on the thoughts and ideas in written form. And no, I’m not going to do a bunch of editing here. It’ll be mostly fairly free flowing, but it’s still much more… thoughtfully written. It is late, but… I’m pensive, and I’m going to let a little bit of a thought dump begin now:

I’ve lately, as you know, been watching what’s going on in our country and world–or at least what’s being presented to me as what’s going on. I’ve been watching news from various countries with various global perspectives–news outlets that pander to the American “right”, outlets that pander to the American “left.” News from Latin American countries, news from European countries, news from Asia…

It’s certainly interesting. Many perspectives. Many reasons for those perspectives. It’s interesting to see desires and values bubble up as people express their feelings.

Speaking of bubbling up. I have a number of thoughts bubbling up from the bottom of the stew in my mind. Many emotions have been evoked within me. Many concerns… hopes… discouragements… encouragements…

And a lot of reflection on the values that guide me.

I used to own guns, lots of them. I don’t anymore, not a one.

I don’t like guns. They bother me. Honestly, I’m a little scared of them. I’ve never had any kind of accident, or even a near accident (a family member taught me well, I think). I bought them because it was a way to connect with people I was close to or wanted to be close to. It was a way to exercise my passion for freedom and my desire to protect it. And of course, I would be lying if I said they’re boring to shoot. They’ aren’t. They are a lot of fun to shoot. It’s fun to try to hit targets from further and further away. It’s fun to feel the power of the recoil, the deafening noise. And I think there’s probably a lot of cultural “this is cool” in there, too–something that can be shown off, so to speak.

I could have fun trying to hit targets with a lot of things that are just as fun and way cheaper than guns. I think that’s where the “it’s cool” thing uncovers itself. Why is there so much more… whatever it is around that than around a rock and a slingshot, or with other target accuracy exercises/games?

Anyway, I don’t like guns. I’m scared of them not because I’m afraid I won’t know how to use them or that they will malfunction or something. I’m scared of what they do and why.

I’ve talked about going to fight for Ukraine, to fight for their freedom. Doing so would likely involve using guns to kill. I don’t want to kill. I try to picture myself pointing a gun at someone to shoot them, and I recoil.

I don’t want to shoot anyone. Ever.

But I would, to protect the lives and freedoms of another. It’s an anguish of soul to think about it. It pains my heart to think about having to shoot/kill someone.

I’m still contemplating going to Ukraine. I’d probably be better carrying food to people or carrying injured people to the medic stations or something.

As much as I don’t like guns, I also will fight for the right of people to own guns, yes even military style guns such as ARs, etc. I’m passionate about that right even as I don’t like guns myself. I think what’s happening in the world right now is a great reminder that governments can repress their own people and they can overrun other peoples. I don’t believe in peace at all costs. For example, if the Ukranian people want their freedom badly enough to give up their lives so as not to be under the thumb of an autocrat, I support them. I feel the same way. I believe in freedom, freedom to do and be and act however you wish (provided the principle encapsulated in this old adage is in play: Your right to swing your arm ends where my face begins).

It’s probably obvious, but politically, I’m libertarian. Believe what you want to believe, say what you want to say, do what you want to do, and as long as that doesn’t keep me from being able to do the same (and visa versa), we’re good. I will likely highly recommend you don’t do drugs, for example, and I’ll support laws that penalize those who cause harm because they’re under the influence (such as driving while intoxicated), but if you want to do those kinds of things to yourself, it’s your choice [this being an example of arms and faces].

In the same vein, if you choose to live your life in ways that damage yourself, I don’t believe in laws that force me have to take are of you financially or otherwise when your life falls apart, and you need help. I believe in compassion, so I probably will help you anyway, but I don’t believe that help should be forced by law via taxes or other such things.

Anyway… tangent within a tangent…

So I do support, 100%, the right to keep and bear arms, even including military-style weapons. I hope never to have to use them, but I think it’s not impossible that an attempt could be made in our own country to install an autocrat as our permanent leader. I would hope not, but in this age of near cult-like followings of presidents and powerful/influential people, gosh… who knows what could happen. I think we’ve seen it with the last two presidents (prior to Biden, that is… don’t think Biden’s got even a semblance of a cult following). We saw it a bit with Obama, I think, and then we saw it (still see it) on a massive scale with Trump.

That’s scary to me. I respect the office. I don’t and won’t venerate a person in it. If they do so competently and selflessly, all the better.

I’m grateful for our constitution, the separation of powers, the limits on the power of the president (I actually wish we could go back to the time where the president had even less power than now, as I think the office of the presidency has managed to amass far too much power at this point.

But if we end up with an autocratic dictator, and we start to have censored media and reprisals for demonstrations, suppression of competing views, etc., I want to have an armed citizenry, able to hold that kind of junk in check, or at least better hold it in check. Though I don’t like guns, I want to be able to fight for my freedom.

That’s one of the things I’ve noticed: There are some who say, I want my freedom, and I’m willing to die for it, and I’m going to fight for it. And there are others who say, we just need to get back to peace, so that lives are saved and people don’t die uselessly–being alive and under a dictator is better than being dead.

I don’t think either position is wrong. It’s just what is. It’s how you feel. It’s what’s important to you. Your priorities. I’m a passionate fighter for freedom but one who absolutely loathes (and I can’t think of a word strong enough to describe the sentiment that I feel) the idea of killing someone. But to protect your life and your freedom, I will fight, and yes, kill another.

I think.

I really really really really loathe the thought, so in the moment, I don’t know what I’d actually do. If it were a choice between a loved one and a violent perpetrator…

Ugh… it’s an awful thing to contemplate either way.

This whole situation (Ukraine-Russia) has opened eyes, I think. I think maybe we’ve forgotten a bit what dictators can do, what they can be like, how much damage they can do. It’s been nearly 80 years since World War II. Few of us in the world remember. I obviously don’t. But a single powerful person with a few powerful friends can wreak havoc on the world, and even more so now than ever before with our society as interdependent as it is.

Wow. Just… wow.

May we as the peoples of sovereign democratic nations regard the principles and the freedoms above the leaders elected to guide us through the future using those principles. That is the best way that I can think of, while still maintaining freedom, to keep autocracies from forming.

(sigh)

I feel a sense of heaviness, that the worst is yet to come for Ukraine and for the world in this war that is affecting the whole globe.

Yet, I am encouraged greatly by the display of the goodness of human nature. This, this terrible event that continues, with the devastation and atrocities being committed, this is proving to me yet again that the majority of the people in this world are good, compassionate people, giving of themselves, risking hardship for themselves to support others in need. I love that aspect of it. This unity that is being demonstrated, this longing and concern to help the Ukrainian people, it’s a beauty and a privilege and a joy to witness.

We, as members of the human race, though severely flawed, are also magnificent.

May we see one another in this beautiful light more and more and more, and may those who hunger for freedom in Ukraine, even at the price of their own lives, find a means to repel the Russian advance, and push them back into Russia.

Go Ukraine! And go compassionate hearts of the peoples of this world!

…

In other news 🙃, it’s almost 1 again, but that includes the jump forward with the clocks. I made a bit of progress today working on finance stuff. I got some tax questions answered by an online accountant. I found out from my own accountant that I might not owe as much tax as I thought. I think I mentioned before that I thought that could be a possibility, and it’s looking like more of a possibility. That would be nice.

It’s going to be a busy day tomorrow. Lots and lots of cars to fix, as I took Friday and Saturday off because of the weather, so I’m rather far behind.

I got my room cleaned up a little more. John finished making a big electronic presentation of our Costa Rica trip, which I’m excited to see. I’m not sure how I’ll get to see it. Maybe he can upload it to DropBox or something, and I can download it. It was such a good trip. I loved it. Makes me smile just thinking about it.

Wish I could find Andres, the cool guy we met at the cliff jumping spot. That would be super cool. I just remember him saying he lived 60 miles north of… Limon, I think it was, but… not sure how I’d find him. Tried to look on FB a little bit, but no dice.

Hope y’all had sensational Sundays.

My love to all.

Lift the World.

~ stephen