As I sit in a seat at gate B8 at the Salt Lake City, Utah international airport waiting for my 5:45 a.m. flight, contemplating spending a night in the terminal, I’m reminded of the many random/unexpected places I’ve spent the night over the years. I’m sure I won’t remember all of them, but I figured it would be fun to list some of them. So, without further ado, and in no particular order, here we go. 😊
* In the home of a trucker, the last person to pick me up that night, on day one in England. He asked me where I was staying that night, and I said I had a tent and was going to set it up, and he was like, “no, you’re gonna stay at my place.” His wife was from Spain, and they had a teenage daughter, whom they kicked out of her bed to let me use it. They cooked me dinner and breakfast and drove me to Knottingham Castle in the morning. Super cool people.
* Under an overpass on the freeway somewhere in England. Well, I tried to sleep. It was so loud, and I’m such a light sleeper that it was a no go. I ended up sleeping in the car of a family I hitched a ride with from where I was to Edinburgh, Scotland.
* In the apartment of a random Scot. I forget his name. But I was looking for the LDS church (it was Saturday), and I went to the address in the phone book, but it was an apartment complex. A young man asked me where I was going. I told him about the church I was trying to find, and he said it wasn’t there, but he knew where it was, and he’d take me in the morning. He invited me to stay at his place, let me take a bath, which was really nice on my badly blistered feet, and he even took me out to dinner (some good Scottish food). To top it off, it his birthday. Cool kid.
* On a ferry from Scotland to Northern Ireland. I’d hitched a ride with someone who was getting on the ferry, so… free ride to Northern Ireland. 🙃
* In the house of a random Irish family who picked me up as my last ride is the night that day. They let me stay in a spare? bedroom, let me use their internet… It was cool. If it wasn’t obvious, I hitchhiked my was through the UK, so it was… an interesting trip.
* On the ferry from England to France. Hitched a ride with some bobbies who… got me there in quite a hurry. That’s a funny story all by itself. 🙃
* an interesting camping spot in Austria. My sister and I stayed at a bunch of different camping places in Europe, but this one was interesting because it was this donut-shaped strip of grass surrounding a two story building, one story for laundry, one for showers. Not sure if this one counts, but it was notable because of how… different it was.
* I think we slept in a random park in Hungary? My sister will need to corroborate that, but I have a vague recollection of doing that.
* Under some trees in an LDS church parking lot… somewhere near LAX, as we headed to Peru.
* Under my SUV? in an LDS church parking lot in San Diego, CA.
* In some Incan ruins above Ollantaytambo, Peru. Right before attempt #1 to reach Machu Picchu. 🙃
* On the banks of a raging river on the other side of the river from the little town of Santa Teresa high in the Andes mountains about 6 miles from Machu Picchu, after our failed attempt to climb the mountains and come out above Machu Picchu.
* In the “hospital” in Santa Teresa, Peru after coming back from Machu Picchu. My body shut down, the whole thing going numb, losing my ability to speak, and all my muscles contracting me into a little ball on the floor of a restaurant. They brought me over to this little two-room hospital where for maybe an hour? they tried to give me an IV, not knowing how to do it. It’s a pretty fun story all by itself. 🙃
* In the Eilat bus station in Israel–Twice…. maybe three times. 🙃
* On the mount of olives in Jerusalem in the tall grass.
* In the house of a couple in Jerusalem who left on vacation while we were there and let us stay there for a couple days
* In the house of an English teacher outside the Sea of Galilee, Northern Israel.
* LAX airport, on top of my suitcases.
* At the base of Masada, near the Dead Sea, in the sand (where a fox gently put it’s mouth on my traveling companion’s finger while he slept.
* on the rocky shore of the Red Sea.
* On the top of Mount Sinai in Egypt. We’d done a midnight hike to be able to watch the sunrise from the top. Slept at the top. 😊
That’s probably enough for now. 🙃 Fun stories, each. Tonight, it’ll be the SLC airport.
Today I spent the morning up Slide Canyon again after spending the night in the Slide Canyon parking lot. While up the canyon, I tried to help my tech work on a couple cars. I tried to give him easy ones, but not much luck there. The first was easy, but the second was a bear, and he had to throw up the white flag. The rest postponed or canceled.
While up the canyon, I improved my little bathtub spot. I forgot to mention yesterday that on my way down the canyon, I’d run into some youth in church clothes enjoying my little bathtub. 😊 That was cool to see people enjoying what I worked hard to build.
While up there today, I improved it by adding a stepping stone to make it easier to cross with less risk of getting wet. I also added a flat place to leave your bag without risking it falling in the water.
Did I include this yesterday? Probably. This doesn’t show the additions and doesn’t really give a great idea of size it build, but it’s something.
It was really… hard to come down the canyon and to go into the valley. It’s like an anxious suffocating feeling.
The contrast is like night and day, going from being home, soul rested and free, to feeling claustrophobic and suffocating in Utah suburbia that feels like sardines packed in a can.
The feeling is so… yeah.
I spent some time driving up South Fork canyon. I’d love to own the ranch at the very end of the road, with views of the backside of Y Mountain. I could live there, I think.
(sigh)
It’s funny, or maybe not… This is a much unhappier note… Today was the first day that I can clearly say that I wasn’t feeling down but still didn’t want to be alive. I just… don’t see anything really to hope for that I believe actually has any realistic chance of happening. I’m gonna try and do good while I’m here. I just… don’t want to be here. I don’t believe the things I wanted most in life will ever come, and what I have left is… Yeah. And the daily reminders of my life situation that’s soul crushing.
I’m not the bounce-back, can’t-keep-me-down person I used to be (if I ever was that). I’m perpetually life tired. I’m drained all the time. I’m… tired. And tired of.
I’m trying to escape it. I just can’t seem to make anything work.
Will keep trying, though. As always.
I can’t keep doing Auto mechanics, even as an owner. I just expect exceptional work, and this just isn’t the industry to have people you can trust to do great work. So it’s a constant stress, and I personally don’t want to be a mechanic for another minute. So… time to get a valuation for the business and sell it out walk away.
I’m just suffocating in life right now. It’s still a steady descent… worse and worse and worse.
(sigh)
I’ll keep trying, though. I want to quit, but it doesn’t seem to be in my DNA. Wish it were.
Sorry for the downer. Being in the canyon was my heaven, the most effective place to keep reality at bay.
Speaking of the canyon, it’s funny, the cliff side collapsed in a place and sent massive boulders crashing to the canyon below, one huge chunk about the size of a 1-car garage. Maybe bigger. Pretty huge. That’s not the funny part. I noticed on one face of the huge bolder, I could see top-rope bolts that had been bolted into the rock. 😬 Well
Helped my brother at his school, went to AutoZone to fix the Civic (I’m leaving it in Utah for fault to borrow and for me to use when I come back in town to visit). It needs a little help, but nothing terrible, at least… not at the moment.
Had dinner with Jared and family after that, and then Jared drove me to the airport.
Happy August, folks.
Love and hugs.
Lift the World
~ stephen
Lift the World 
It seems you’ve convinced yourself of the myth that you will never have the life you want. Of course it isn’t falling into your lap! You must work for it. As hard as you profess to want it. If you want love and companionship, go out into people. Meet real people. No internet. Real folk doing real things. Join a hiking club. Do the work. Someone is also out there doing the work, wondering where you are! Stop being a martyr to your own fear and inaction. This dream is possible. Just do it!
Tish, I appreciate your love and desire to help, but your approach is more harmful than helpful for me personally, creating an additional challenging obstacle to overcome in my efforts to keep my head above water. Thanks, again, for caring. Hope you have a great week.