Today… Was a mess. I was absolutely swamped morning to night, but my mental health was just not in a good place. I was completely exhausted physically, And that was definitely part of it all.
A lot of it, though, is I’m just done being a mechanic. Just thinking about going to work everyday is just… anxiety producing.
Even all the days off I’m taking don’t help. My burnout has burned out. 😅
The reservoir is empty. The lake is dried up, and there’s no river to refill it. I’m just… done. 🙃
My first job of the day started turning into a black hole. It was just a ball joints job, but the ball joints were so completely frozen together that I couldn’t get anything apart. I needed a torch, but I didn’t have one. I think I probably spent two or three hours trying to get it figured out, but ended up having to throw up the white flag.
Gratefully, my customer was super understanding, and was actually super grateful because I had saved her so much money on the previous job that she didn’t even batten eyelash. In fact, even though I tried to refuse it, she gave me some money just for trying.
That was really nice of her.
My second job of the day, a large job, canceled last minute because a friend of his friend decided to do the job for him. They canceled basically as I was getting ready to head over to do the job.
Though it was super inconsiderate, it was actually wonderful for me because I was completely spent. I had nothing left to give that day.
But i still had multiple jobs on the schedule.
(sigh)
What to do… I was so completely spent that I just… couldn’t. But I didn’t want to leave my customers hanging. That would be an awful thing to do.
So I got on the phone and I called a shop there was nearby to one of my customers, a shop whose owner I knew, and I asked him if he could squeeze One of the jobs in that I needed done, and he had an opening, so I was able to send one of my customers immediately to a shop without him having to wait 10 minutes let alone days..
So that was one down.
I think I had one job cancel maybe?
And then the last one he said I could come the next morning first thing, but given how I was feeling, I just needed everything off my plate.
So I got in touch with another mobile mechanic, one of the new ones that’s popped up who has really really good reviews, and he was able to squeeze my customer in.
🥳🥳🥳
So i was free. Burden lifted. Heading home.
I’m trying to remember now, as it’s been a few days, but I think I ended up going home and sleeping for like 4 or 5 hours maybe? I don’t remember. The days are blurring together.
I was just so happy to have all that stuff off my plate. I still had two cars scheduled for Saturday, But at least I was free right then.
That was my Friday. 🙃
Like I said, I’ve been taking a lot more time off recently, but for some reason none of the rest is rejuvenating. Like I said my burnout has burned out. The lake is empty. The river has run dry.
On the bright side, my lake being empty in my river being dry is pushing me more effectively toward the nonprofit stuff. I’ve been doing more working toward that recently, and that’s kind of fun to be thinking about finally making that transition.
But I know that y’all can’t trust me when I say that I’m getting close because I’ve been saying that for so long. So… I have to let my actions do the talking at this point.
Making progress. Bit by bit.
Love and hugs. 😊
Lift the World
~ stephen
Lift the World 