What does it feel like to have the spirit of God with me in its fullness?
(I’m writing this post to help me focus and remember why I do the things that I do and why I choose not to do the things I choose not to do. There’s a pretty significant amount of self-discipline and humility required to make the choices that I’m, once again, trying to make.
It’s hard.
There’s so much that goes into it. And I’m a proud person.
I want to remind myself because I keep catching myself going back to things that take me away from where I want to be. I want to remind myself that while I might be giving up beautiful looking rocks with shiny bits of mica on them, in giving up those rocks, I’m getting diamonds in exchange, so to speak.
I also want to remind myself that the exchange isn’t always immediate. Sometimes you let go of those shiny pretty rocks, and you have to wait a little while [or a long while 😅] before you receive the diamonds. Anyway, I’m writing this to help me remember and process through, and I also hope it’s helpful for some of you. 😊)
As I ask myself that question, the immediate response within myself is, “I’m not sure that I’ve ever had the spirit with me in its fullness. The only way that I can think of that I would know for sure if I’ve ever felt the Spirit in its fullness is if God told me that I had. And since that hasn’t happened… 🙃, I can’t be sure I have.
I highly doubt that I have.
Maybe a better question is, what does the Spirit feel like for me in those times when I feel I have it powerfully with me?
I don’t mean the times where it’s there so strongly that I’m overcome, as much as those have been beautiful experiences that I love, it’s not so effective for walking around living life day to day if you’re so overcome by the Spirit that you can’t really function. 😆
I guess what I’m trying to describe is what the daily walk with the spirit feels like for me when I can just feel it there all the time, unencumbered by (because I’m uninterested in) distractions and diversions, and because I’ve banished from my life those things that even in the tiniest way, reduce my ability to feel the Spirit.
As I look back to the times in my life when I have enjoyed that reality, or even some near semblance of it, that daily walk with the spirit seemingly ever present, one of the things that stands out to me is the feeling of peace. And there’s a lightness and a brightness. The weight of the world is so much less. Stress, concern, fear… they can’t really seem to get a foothold. And there’s so much less focus and concern for my own life and welfare and so much more desire to reach out and lift and serve others.
There’s also this amazing influx of understanding that just… pours in–continual ah-ha moments about the gospel and about eternity enter my mind, not because I’m reading about those specific ideas in a book or hearing them in a talk or something, but simply as I’m pondering and communing with Father and trying to live the best life I can. The knowledge just pours in. Joseph Smith once described it as “sudden strokes of ideas” and “pure intelligence.”
I know that feeling. I know those experiences.
I miss them.
I don’t know if there’s a feeling on earth I love more than being full of the Spirit. Everything else is just… dwarfed. It’s like the Spirit magnifies all of the best emotions– happiness, love, peace…
It brings a smile just to think of how it used to be.
🥰
I’m going to get there again.
Come what may.
Of course, interspersed among all these other experiences are those sublime moments when the Spirit just washes over me with such power that I’m… overcome.
Those moments might be accompanied by tingles and chills… I might be silent just taking in the overwhelming feelings, or I might fall to my knees and pour out my heart in gratitude to my dear Father in Heaven. The joy can be so deep that it fills the soul to overflowing, tears welling up.
I love those moments.
But they are also periodic experiences. I’ve had them happen multiple times in a day, but sometimes it can be weeks, months, or years between them.
Of course, when it’s been a long time, it’s almost certainly because I’ve slipped from hungering and thirsting for the things of eternity to being more… complacent?
[I don’t know what the right word is there, and I’m losing my patience in finding the correct descriptors because I’m starting to get antsy. I’ve spent so much time on this post that I want to be done, so I can go out and do the things of the day. 🙃 How ironic. 😆]
Or I may have slipped as far as to slide all the way back into my doubt and fear baseline. I’d call it a comfort zone, because I keep returning to it, but it’s certainly not comfortable. 😅
What I truly hunger for (though I absolutely love those powerful sublime moments when they come and want them to continue coming 🙃), is the daily walk with the Spirit where I feel just… full all day long–full of the Spirit. Full of peace. Full of confidence. Full of light. Full of happiness, continually learning new things that bring wonderful new insights and perspectives that change the way I see the world and eternity.
I long for that again.
So.
To the nitty gritty. What does it take to get back there?
My first step is to remove those things that even in the tiniest way reduce my ability to feel the spirit, activities and circumstances that I invite into my sacred circle that steer my sacred circle away from the circle of the spirit, so to speak.
What needs to go?
Way back in 2009, I gave up TV and movies. I gave them up because I knew that 99% of all the movies and TV that I’d ever seen contained content that steered my sacred circle away from the Spirit.
How could I expect to have the fullness of the Spirit in my life when I invited things into my life that were antithetical to who I wanted to be?
I want to make a point that I feel is important. I don’t think that removing that kind of entertainment from my life because of its content requires me to remove people from my life who may contribute the same kind of content. In my mind, there’s a difference between inviting that kind of stuff in as entertainment, and having it be a part of one’s daily efforts to lift and serve others.
There’s a huge difference, in my mind.
So once again, the commitment I make is that kind of content goes. It just does. It’s hard, because it’s embarrassing to tell people that I am not going to participate in watching the TV show or the movie that they are watching.
It’s hard because some people take such choices and actions as being evidences of a holier-than-thou attitude, thinking that I am above or better than others.
That’s one of the things that makes such choices so challenging. My pride, which is great, doesn’t want to be seen negatively by anyone. So I get embarrassed, and I hem and ha sometimes, trying to work up the courage to make the choice I feel is best for me.
So TV and movies go. The end.
I also find that I need to remove any kind of following sports, scores, news, etc. There are many reasons why, but the most significant is that it is a major distraction, and when measured against the things that I could be doing and could be feeling, it just doesn’t compare.
Butter and honey.
(If I haven’t explained butter and honey before, I will–someday. It’s a verse from Isaiah and also found in the Book of Mormon.)
News is another thing that has to go for me. Are there good things that can come from knowing what’s going on in the world, for sure. But just hopping on the news websites and seeing whatever one is doing and saying, I find to be more harmful than helpful. I do want to know what’s going on in the world so that I can help in whatever avenues I am able, but simply checking in with news websites and whatnot is destructive to my spiritual growth and maintenance.
Media can be such a distraction and such a destruction.
Get other media can be uplifting and beautiful and constructive.
It’s just so easy for me to slide into the kinds of things that distract and destroy.
So that’s my first step, once again returning to that life where I remove the media that steers my sacred circle away from the Spirit of God.
I need to cut it out and leave it out.
Everything that in any way reduces my ability to feel the fullness of the Spirit must go.
That said, as I imagine you know, it’s not enough to cut something out. The void will be filled by something, and I want to fill it with those things that are uplifting and beautiful and align my sacred circle perfectly with the Spirit of God.
I’ll be writing another post about that, filling the void…
I hope my ponderings have been beneficial to you. 😊
Love and hugs. 😊
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 