I don’t really have much to say today. I rolled out of bed at 7:30 into the front passenger seat so miserable that i just asked my mom if it was ok with her if we just got going.
It might just be a memory thing, but I don’t remember having a sore throat this bad. Or one lasting this long.
And being stuffed up, which forces me to breathe through my mouth, makes it worse.
But hey, I want opportunities to practice being grateful for the harder things, right?
😅
Instead of going to church in Joplin or Pittsburg, We just drove the rest of the way home, and I ended up just spending most of the day in my room, not going to church at all.
I didn’t want to go to sleep either, because I didn’t want to screw up my schedule and then end up awake all night, so I kept myself awake. I ended up going completely against all of my no news, no sports, no media, stuff. I don’t feel great about that, but I didn’t relapse in my pornography addiction stuff, so we’ll call it a win.
Pretty much all I could do yesterday was just stare at a screen. I probably could have chosen better things to have on the screen, but at least I didn’t choose the worst?
Trying to give myself a little fudge room and not be so hard on myself.
Gratefully, so far, I’m doing well with that.
Let’s see… One of the biggest shocks that I came back to was multiple multi thousand dollar bills from the state of Arkansas, saying that I owe them $9200 for my Haven Hill Tree Service business.
😶
They’re saying that I didn’t submit my monthly sales tax stuff, and I could have sworn I did that before I even left. That was one of the things that I did. But I filled it out and submitted it all. I’m a bit shocked right now.
But all the online records show that I never turned it in, and so I’ve got massive bills and massive fines.
Kind of crappy for a business that hasn’t made any money since January, and a business that lost me over like 15 or $20,000.
Now I apparently have another $9,200, so I’m going to try and get that figured out tomorrow.
Anyway, it’s been a miserable day. I feel crappy. I’m exhausted. I need to cough but it hurts so badly to cough that I don’t dare. Every once in a while, I cough just because I can’t avoid it, and it hurts like the dickens, and a whole bunch of crap comes up. I need the cough more, so I don’t up my risk for pneumonia.
I just… thought the sore throat would be gone by now. Holy freaking crap.
Anyway, I’m going to bed knowing that I’m not any better, knowing that I’m going to have to breathe through my mouth all night, which is going to make my throat even more sore.
Not looking forward to this. 🤕
I’m trying to be grateful for everything… everything. It’s such a great principle and feel so beautiful when everything’s going great, but when the really hard stuff comes around, being able to actually continue being grateful… That’s going to take a lot of work.
As I write that, I chuckle a little bit because a lot of work can only happen with a lot of crappy experiences, so lots to… look forward to. 😅
Ugh. I have that stupid self-righteous thing on my mind every single time I write on here now, worried about how things are going to be taken and wondering how I can write things so the people don’t misunderstand and judge me as being self-righteous.
Lift the world.
~ stephen
Lift the World 