A lot changes in a week.
I’m in a really bad place. I wasn’t prepared to be so sick and be home and…
I got discouraged/depressed super quickly, have barely left my room the entire week, relapsed in every addiction I have…
And my spiritual re-re-awakening is… pretty much dead.
It’s kind of like a “who am I kidding?”
It’s what I want, but I can’t hack living up to it, and I can’t hold onto believing it either.
😞
Still coughing a ton.
~ stephen
Lift the World 
Dearest Stephen,
Your happiest days are yet to come. God made someone He loved. Remember that. Honor His love and trust in joy. You wallow in pain, but you CAN let it go. It does take trusting others. Not one of us was put on an uninhabited planet. We are here together. For each other.
Stephen,
Ach!! Ach!!
I’ve tried 5 times and 12 hrs to find the right things to say.
Stephen, I love you.
Stephen, it is beyond my comprehension that my angry accusation in response to your angrily reprimanding me in my moment of extremity could ever ever ever be construed as my viewing your personal quest for growth as self-righteous. Never could it mean that!!! Never in a thousand years. Self-righteousness is about one’s attitude towards others!! Not about one’s efforts at personal growth!!!
Stephen, I love you. I love your efforts at growth!! I believe in you!!
While we’re both struggling with hurt and anger over what happened, far, far more imporant than all that is that I will ALWAYS love you. YOU are not your flaws. YOU are not your mistakes!! YOU are not even your insanely vast array of gifts and talents!! All those are merely temporary tools given you for the purpose of mortality. YOU are my brother! YOU are an eternal soul of surpassing goodness! YOU are more than the cankering discouragement and despair that seeks to shackle us all! YOU CAN shake off the enemy of your peace, the enemy of all joy, to find peace, to find self-love, to find joy, to discover God’s eternal plan and God’s eternal love still busily at work in YOU and at work in EVERYONE around you. ***Remember that!!***
YOU ARE an eternal beimg of surpassing goodness!!!!!
Stephen! I LOVE you, brother!
I
L.O.V.E.
*****L*O*V*E****
***************LOVE!!!!!!!!!!***********
********Y*O*U*!!!!!*********
I love you!!!!!