(written on the 15th from notes)
I spent most of the morning catching up on my journal.
I haven’t been able to get myself to actually write every day on the day, but at least I haven’t been getting crazy far behind.
Seems like my big accomplishment in New Zealand will be coming home having written a journal entry everyday, which… isn’t much of an accomplishment at all, considering that’s what I expect of myself anyway. 😅
Pretty place to journal.
It’s funny, now that I don’t really feel like I have a whole lot to go explore, it seems like the perfect time to try to work on the things I need to work on internally, but now I’m leaving, and I know that being back in the States is going to be exponentially harder.
Gazillions of items on my to-do list that need to get done…
People I want to help get past the things that are burdening them…
I made my way north along the coast, and then west, pausing at a park for a little while, putting some more sealant on the repair on my roof, quite surprised to find that after all the curing, there was still a place that had bare metal. 😶
It probably wasn’t 20 minutes after I put the sealant on that it started to rain. 😅
Oh well…
I drove through Auckland just about as quickly as I could…
Stopping off to try and get gas at a Pak ‘n Save but found that they were actually out of 91.
I imagine that’s a consequence of the Iran war.
So I drove north past the city, heading out more toward the country a little bit to go to the next gas station that had cheaper gas, but that one wouldn’t accept my credit card. 😒
So I swung over to the BP that had an in-store card machine, and that worked–just a little pricier.
I realized that that gas station was just a little bit down the road from a self-contained camping spot that I’d stayed at months ago, so I swung by there, parked, and debated what to do. Do I keep going north where I want to go? Or do I hang down here to try and figure out what to do with my van?
If I’m going to try and sell my van to a dealership, then I need to get that figured out down here in Auckland ASAP because I have to be at the airport by noon or before on Monday, so it needs to happen before the weekend. 😬
Time is running out.
Do I sell it to a dealer for pittance? Do I sell it to somebody on Facebook marketplace for pittance? Do I give it away?
[sigh]
I decided to stay here for the night. If I decide to go back to Auckland tomorrow for van stuff, I’ll be right close by. If I decide to go north, I can go north.
I texted back and forth a fair bit with my brother Richard, mostly talking about my struggles.
Texted a bit with my mom, my brother Jared, my sister Heather and a bit more with Alex about his van. He’s going to have a mechanic look at it tomorrow.
With the sun going down early, I journaled a fair bit and then veged… late into the morning. 😕
The van dilemma is quite stressful right now. I knew when I bought it that I was going to take a hit on it because I was buying during the expensive season and selling during the cheap season. I also failed to do the work to turn it into a green-sticker certified van, so it’s much less desirable with the green sticker requirement going into effect in June.
But good golly… I never imagined it would be this bad. I bought it for $6,000 and figured at worst, I’d have to sell it for $3k. I’ve received absolutely zero bites at $2900. So I dropped it to $2500.
Nothing. 😶
Lately, I’ve been wondering if maybe I won’t go back to New Zealand, and if I do, living in this size van, where I can’t stand up… it’s fine for a while, but I really need more room.
I’m not 27 anymore. 😅
And all that has to happen in a short time back in Utah and Arkansas before going back to South Dakota.
I’m really stressed. 😕
I’m not ready to go home.
I’m incapable of real life right now… even in the midst of great beauty.
😞
~ stephen
Lift the World 