Hey, y'all. I chose not to work again today... Just... not with. It I relapsed in multiple things last night, porn and TV time wasting--bouncing back and forth between porn and watching like four or five episodes of Chuck. I really like that show. But... it's not what I want to be spending my time … Continue reading 2021-03-23 — Trying to Pull Out

I relapsed again. Feels like the same old same old spiral. 😞. Heaven help me. Really. ~ stephen

I relapsed today. I flirted with it last night and had a narrow miss, and then I full blown did today, just an hour ago or so. I can't express in words how devastated I am. ...I was doing... so well... 😞 ~ stephen

I'm still fighting to get my body back to normal. I've been mostly good today. My mouth is dry all the time, which makes me think I'm dehydrated, but I'm not. Before dinner tonight, I'd only taken in like 9 oz o fluid today, and I had peed out 109, and yet my pee was … Continue reading 2021-03-20 — Almost Out of the Woods?

There's a Queen song... one of the lines, repeated many many times in the song is "It finally happened." Of course the song is referring to "going slightly mad." For me, it's a lot more positive. I'm feeling better!!! Wahoo. 😊🥳 I stayed home again today. I've done all of two jobs all week. 🙃 … Continue reading 2021-03-19 — Third Day Charm

Hiya, folks. Been a good day. 🙂 My body hates, me, unfortunately. I've been over the edge all but maybe an hour today? Currently, I'm still over, and I think I've done everything right today. That's two days now. I'm not sure what's going on. I've really taken care of myself. It makes no sense. … Continue reading 2021-03-18 — Still Over the Edge

Over the edge. Head not doing well. Body not doing well. I thought I took care of myself. Think maybe things are getting worse? Didn't think it's a blood sugar issue, but my readings always seem high. They say 70-90 is normal. I'm pretty much always way higher than that. I need to start testing … Continue reading 2021-03-17 — Time to Figure This Out

So... I had an interesting experience tonight. I felt like God said "thank you" to me. I was trying to help a friend I was texting, and I was actually brushing my teeth, and just felt this quiet, simple, sincere "thank you." It sort of caught me off guard a little bit? Not in a … Continue reading 2021-03-16 — “No More Fears”

Funny how after making a push to improve in a given area of my life, I find an increased opposition to the effort. I say I'm going to reduce my workload as a mechanic and in my business, and in the blink of an eye, somehow I find myself working even more--and that even as … Continue reading 2021-03-15 — Beware the Ides

The last few days have been spiritually... very powerful for me. Tonight has been right with them. I've felt God very near lately. I've felt some very clear direction. He's lit a fire under my rear end, and I'm all sorts of zeroed in. I've not been very good at trusting God. In fact, my … Continue reading 2021-03-14 — All Things