(written November 1st from notes taken previously)
Why, Stephen? Why?
Why when you want to hang out inside a church after everybody’s gone (to stay out of the brutal heat until the sun goes down) don’t you just tell the people who are there that that’s what you want to do if they ask who you’re still there?
Why do you purposefully try to avoid everybody until you’re the last one there?
Just be open about it. Go play the piano or something. What are the odds someone is actually going to kick you out? And if they do, just… suck it up. You lived an entire Arkansas summer in a van in the heat. You’ll survive.
But no, (queue Gollum’s “sneaking” clip. Sometimes… sometimes I’m a genius. 🙄
🤦
But I’ll get there…
I’m surprised I fit even reasonably well in Mom’s bed last night. I didn’t sleep well, but I don’t think it was the bed situation. I think maybe I was worried about being disturbed?
Gratefully, I wasn’t. 🙏
Did I mention that I decided to crash back there last night? Well, I did. 🙃 I think the bed is something like 60 in Long? Maybe 62, and I’m… A lot longer than that lying down. 😅 But with my spine and nerve issues, I can’t stretch out, because that significantly aggravates the pain and discomfort, so I sleep on my side all curled up, making the tiny bed easily large enough for me. 🛌
One result of not sleeping well was that I was up earlier than I wanted to be. Not wanting to waste time, I did a little searching online to see if I could find a parts van in one of the local junkyards that might have the bracket I was needing to finish repairing my van. And excitingly, I did! There’s a junkyard in town that has, assuming that it’s still there and accessible, exactly what I need, I think 🤞, so I’m going to stick around town tonight to see what I can find tomorrow morning. 🤞
In addition to the junkyard searching, I did a little searching again hoping to find a place for my mom and Thomas, including houses to buy.
Did I mention that on this trip my perspective about buying a house shifted? I think I mentioned it, but if I didn’t, for whatever reason, as I was driving out on this trip, I lost all concern for whether or not I should buy a house and just started thinking about it as sort of a given. 😶
I have absolutely no idea why such a dramatic shift in my perspective would happen.
But here it is. 🤷
When it came time for church, I got a little creative with my clothes (not wearing my regular stuff).
[it’s been so long that I don’t remember why, but I think it was because my church clothes were dirty? I think I wore black sweatpants and a polo with a tie. 🙃]
Attended church, spent some time journaling, ate lunch, and reached out to the guy who bought my skid steer (I think I mentioned that I brought the skid steer parts with me that he did get when he bought it).
I haven’t wanted to dump the parts and the spare key and metal scrap pile because it seems like such an expensive waste when someone could benefit from them.
I did manage to get a hold of the skid steer guy, and at first, I thought he was going to be able to swing by, but then it didn’t work out today. Maybe tomorrow?
Did some more journaling, and then I hung out in the church–for hours, making sure I was the last one in the building, and then just… Hanging out and veging in the cool air of the church. So much nicer than the triple or near-triple digits it was outside. 🥵
I passed hour after hour just sort of veging inside the church, with other people coming and going multiple times, and I just… staying out of the way.
I’m still just shaking my head. Remembering back to the same thing in New Zealand.
I think maybe it has something to do with my mental health in the moment? I just… don’t want to see or talk to anyone?
I don’t know.
Regardless, while there was a family hanging out inside the church, playing games or something, after purposely avoiding them for a good long time, I decided to go out to my van for something, sticking something in the door to make it so I could get back into the church. But as I was walking away from the church, the gentleman who had been with his family came over to the door, took the rock out of the door, and eyed me suspiciously. 😅
Definitely not unreasonable considering my ridiculous behavior. 😅
As his family was leaving, I think he saw me walking around the parking lot, so instead of going back where he was headed, he backed up to where he could see me. All of that left me thinking that it was probably not a good idea to spend the night there again.
Sooooo…I drove away. 🙃
Had I just been smart and not all sneeeaaaky, I probably would have been totally fine, and I wouldn’t have had to try and find another place to stay in the same city.
But… I wasn’t smart. 🥴
From the church parking lot, I drove to a nearby Walmart Supercenter parking lot, veged out for a good little while, chatted with my mom, and veged some more before leaving and finding a nice hospital parking lot where I crashed for the night.
I think I had been planning to try and stay at the Maverick gas station? but then I saw the hospital across the street and gave it a go instead.
Generally, I’ve been fine at hospitals, but we’ll see. 🤞
Lift the world.
Bring it on.
~ stephen
